My fragile love
by Darkloverkitsune
Summary: At 21, Itachi still doesn't believe in love, or relationships. Until he meets Deidara, that is. But can he save him from the demons of his past? AU, yaoi Ita/Dei
1. Chapter 1

My fragile love

At 21, Itachi still doesn't believe in love, or relationships. Until he meets Deidara, that is. But can he save him from the demons of his past? AU, yaoi Ita/Dei

Warnings: Rated M for language, sex, and themes such as self-harm, alcohol and drug use.

I don't own Naruto or any of the characters. They're a little OOC though. Can't be helped.

Other than that, please enjoy^^

Chapter 1

On a peaceful September day, Saturday morning to be exact, Itachi was sitting at his desk in front of his laptop computer, already working on a school project even though the semester had only just started, when his little brother knocked at his bedroom door.

"Itachi, open the door! I need to ask you something."

The young man sighed, but went to open his door anyway. In front of him stood a younger version of himself. Same sleek raven hair, same onyx eyes and pale-white skin, only he was a little shorter.

"What is it, Sasuke?"

Before his brother could even begin to answer, a hyperactive blonde guy appeared beside him and threw his arm around the other boy's shoulders, smiling enthusiastically.

"He finally decided he wants a tattoo!" The blonde exclaimed as he looked up at Itachi with shining blue eyes.

Sasuke glared at him sideways. "Yeah Naruto why don't you shout it louder just to make sure my mom hears it…?"

He scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Oops, sorry… I'm sure she didn't hear anything!"

Itachi chuckled as he leaned onto his doorframe, crossing his arms. "That's for sure. Or she'd already be yelling…"

Their mother wasn't a big fan of tattoos and piercings, unlike Naruto. Oh, she was really open-minded on almost any other subject. Sasuke being openly in a relationship with the son of her second husband was proof of that.

Yeah, Itachi had a rather fucked up family. His father died when he was six – Sasuke was only one. And a few years later, their mother had met Minato, a man who also lost his wife, and was raising his son, Naruto, alone. They were now married, and all living in the same fancy, big house. And even though there was plenty enough room for everyone in said house, Naruto and Sasuke had been sharing a bedroom for a year now – no matter how fucked up that was, they were only sixteen after all. But they were happy and in love, which was the most important, Itachi supposed.

Even though their mother was very accepting of the whole situation, she was against tattoos. Naruto had a swirl on his lower stomach, the kanji sign for love at the nape of his neck, and he wanted some more but his father had told him to slow down. Minato was tolerant of this, unlike his wife. She did tolerate it for Naruto, but when it came to her own sons, it was out of the question. So Itachi had a pretty good idea why Sasuke was coming to him…

"You need an authorization when you're under eighteen," Sasuke said. "At the store they told Naruto an older sibling is okay."

Well, Itachi had been right.

He sighed again, and pretended to be thoughtful and reluctant. Of course he would say yes, but he would just pretend it bothered him a little at least. But the truth was, he could never refuse anything to his little brother.

"I'll think about it," he finally said.

Naruto pouted, even though he wasn't the one who wanted a tattoo this time. Sasuke glanced down for a moment, and then looked up at him with big dark eyes. Even though he was sixteen, he was still using his puppy eyes trick once in a while. How could anyone say no to that look?

"Fine…" he chuckled, "I'll go with you, if it's not something too big."

He made a little smile. "Thanks! And don't worry, I just want a little one right here." He placed his hand at the nape of his neck. "Same place as Naruto's kanji."

"All right." Itachi shrugged slightly. "Just tell me when you want to go. For now I'll return to my homework…"

"I was kind of…" Sasuke looked at him expectantly again, "Hoping to go today?"

"Yeah!" Naruto nodded enthusiastically. "I called and they said there's a place this afternoon. Someone cancelled last minute."

Itachi raised a brow at them. "I have things to do today…"

"Oh please!" Sasuke exclaimed. "The semester only started a week ago. Things to do? Yeah right. More like game online all day long you nerd…"

"For your information, I was actually doing school work. And you seem to be forgetting that you're currently asking me a favor."

"Ah, that's right, you should apologize Sasuke!" Naruto exclaimed, glancing at his boyfriend, then back at Itachi.

"Pff, he already said yes anyway." He tugged on Itachi's sleeve. "Come on let's just go…"

Sasuke had the annoying tendency to act like a little child again whenever he was around his older brother. Annoying, but endearing at the same time.

Itachi went to close his laptop, quickly tied his long hair in a loose ponytail, and then picked up a black zip up sweater, his glasses, car keys and cell phone.

Naruto ran down the stairs, and Sasuke and Itachi followed more quietly. In the large living room Minato was watching the news channel on the wide flat screen television, and Mikoto was sitting beside him, reading a magazine. She looked up when they walked down the stairs.

"Where are you going?" Mikoto asked.

"Just downtown!" Naruto shrugged casually. "You know, walking!"

"It's raining," his father turned around to look at his son.

No one could ever doubt that these two were related. They had the same tan skin, blue eyes and blonde hair. Their personalities were different though; Minato was a lot calmer. He had explained that Naruto's personality was similar to his mother's, even though he'd never known her since she'd died right after giving birth. It was a very sad story, but at least Minato was able to talk about her once in a while. One thing was certain about Naruto though; he was a terrible liar.

"So what? I like rain!"

Minato raised an amused brow, "You were complaining about it this very morning!"

"I changed my mind okay?" Naruto replied, annoyed.

His father laughed but didn't reply. Mikoto was still staring at them, suspicious.

"Whatever let's just go," Sasuke said as he went to put on his shoes.

Itachi looked at his mother. "We'll be back for dinner," he said simply, knowing that this would make her happy at least. She didn't like it when they ate out, because she cooked such delicious meals for the whole family at home.

She smiled, "Great! Have fun then."

Worked every time.

Outside they walked on the large paved entryway to Itachi's car, a nice black Honda accord. It had been Minato's gift for his 21st birthday. Let's just say his mother hadn't chosen a loser for a husband; Minato had a very high paying job.

As always, Naruto and Sasuke sat in the back to be able to cuddle and make out or whatever.

"You guys make me feel like a cab driver," he complained.

"Sorry…" Naruto said.

He rolled his eyes, and then he started the car, shifted and pulled out of the entryway. It was only a few months old, and Itachi kept it very clean. It was manual transmission, and he'd gotten the hang of it pretty quickly. All in all, he was glad Minato had chosen this car. He drove away from the richer residential area of town, and towards downtown. It was always very busy, especially the weekend since people were out shopping.

He got stuck in traffic a little bit, but at least it wasn't that far. Soon Naruto told him they were close enough to the tattoo place and he could park his car. So Itachi found a spot and took out some change to pay for the park meter, and then they started walking. It was indeed raining, but it was very light rain at the moment, so it wasn't that bad.

They passed a couple of restaurants, and some weird little stores, which Itachi had no idea what they were selling. After a few minutes Naruto stopped, and opened a door for them.

"We're here!" He smiled.

Sasuke stepped in first, and Itachi followed. Actually it was a building with multiple stores inside it. But Naruto led them downstairs, and indeed they arrived in a piercing and tattoo store. There was a cardboard with the name of the store, "Silver", and also picture frames of tattoo designs across the walls. In the first half of the rectangular store were displays with all kinds of piercings. In the back there were a couple of small booths, and also a bigger separate room. In the middle there was a counter with the cash register, a computer and a printer. There was a person with long blond hair sitting on a stool behind the computer. Itachi wasn't sure if it was a man or a woman, because the hair was hiding the person's face.

But then the person looked up and smiled at them.

"Hey! Naruto it's you! What's up?"

His voice was masculine, as well as his body, Itachi could now see. It was most definitely a guy – a skinny, pretty guy with delicate traits and sexy long hair.

"My boyfriend's getting his first tattoo!" Naruto exclaimed enthusiastically.

"That's awesome!" The guy said as he got up to meet up with them. He put his hands in his black hoodie's pockets and shrugged. "Shouldn't be too long." He glanced back at the booths, from which they could hear the dull sound of the tattoo gun. "I think Sasori's almost finished."

He glanced back at Naruto, and replaced his long blond bangs behind his ears full of studs. This also revealed that he had an eyebrow piercing. He was the complete opposite of Itachi's usual type, but somehow he found this guy kinda hot.

"So hey, let me introduce you," Naruto said, "Deidara, this is my boyfriend Sasuke, and his brother Itachi."

"Nice to meet you," Deidara glanced at both brothers, giving a small nod.

"And, Sasuke, Itachi," Naruto continued, "this is Deidara, uh… he's a… how should I introduce you?" He finished on a teasing tone.

Itachi supposed this was some sort of inside joke, because Deidara chuckled somewhat bitterly.

"Yeah I'm still kinda the receptionist/janitor/coffee guy in here. But I'm currently training to become a real tattoo artist, it's just that the guy," he pointed at the booth in the back, "didn't want me to just stand there and look. I can understand I mean, he's getting a tattoo on his ass so… maybe he doesn't want too many people staring." He finished in a low voice.

Even if he'd spoken louder, Itachi doubted the guys in the back would've heard anything. There was death metal music playing in the store, the singer – if you could call that singing – was screaming incomprehensibly and the sound wasn't so pleasant in Itachi's opinion.

On the other hand, checking Deidara out was fun. Naruto and Sasuke started discussing ideas for Sasuke's tattoo with him, and as he listened to the two boys intently Itachi could stare all he wanted.

Now Itachi considered himself as having long hair for a guy – loose it reached about two or three inches below his shoulders – but that Deidara guy was intense. His thick blond hair was tied up, and even then it reached the middle of his back. But somehow that look worked for him. And sure he was skinny, but not too much; it wasn't ugly or unhealthy looking. His grey skinny jeans and black hoodie were tight, and only his red converse shoes added color to his outfit.

But the most pleasant thing to look at was his face. He had deep blue eyes, with black eyeliner, a delicate nose, beautiful lips – not too thin, not too full, and so kissable.

Hmm… Maybe Itachi really needed to go out and have a one night stand soon. Cause here he was getting horny over meeting a random stranger in some underground tattoo place…

Naruto and Sasuke moved over to the computer with Deidara. Sasuke took out a USB plug from his jeans pocket, and handed it to Deidara. The latter put it into the computer and they looked at the pictures together, Sasuke explaining what he wanted. Since he was the one giving his authorization for all this, Itachi figured he might as well look at the tattoo ideas with them.

They were all pretty much small black tribal tattoos, representing nothing in particular. Most of them had circular designs, and Itachi had to admit that would look good and fit his brother's style. Besides, if he had it done behind his neck, it would be hidden by his semi-long hair anyway.

"Actually…" Deidara hesitated, and then looked up at Sasuke, "I really like drawing tribal designs myself, and from what you've explained to me, well it gave me an idea…"

He interrupted himself to turn the computer chair around, reaching for a sketchbook on the other counter behind him. Looking up Itachi noticed there was a small poster hanging on the wall saying _Tattoo removal_ and the picture was a cheese grater.

He chuckled.

Deidara looked at him, then followed his stare and smiled.

"It works."

"Wow... That's pretty cool," Itachi laughed.

"Thanks."

Not too bad for a first exchange.

Deidara opened the sketchbook and flipped the pages until he found what he was looking for. He showed them his designs. Immediately Sasuke fell in love with one. It was three tear shaped forms, with thin intertwined lines forming a circle around them, all black.

"You like it?" Deidara smiled, and Itachi thought he looked like a child whose parent had just complimented on his drawing.

Sasuke nodded, "Yeah it's like, exactly what I want."

"That's awesome!" Naruto smiled, resting his head on Sasuke's shoulder.

"So how big do you want it?" Deidara asked, already picking up a special pen and paper to recreate the drawing.

As they discussed the size the other tattoo artist and his customer walked out of the booth. They couldn't see his tattoo obviously, since like Deidara had mentioned it was placed on the guy's butt. Itachi couldn't care less, tattoos weren't really his thing. He found them beautiful on certain people – depending on the tattoo of course – but really not on everyone. Like that other tattooist guy, for example. He had dark red hair, and his face wasn't ugly, but he was wearing a t-shirt and Itachi couldn't even see any skin on his neck or arms; it was full of tattoos. That was just too much.

"Hi Naruto!" The red-head said casually.

"Hey Sasori what's up?" Naruto replied.

"Not much," he answered as he took place behind the cash register, "it's 150$..."

The guy paid cash, thanked him, and then left.

"Konan's still not here?" Sasori asked his colleague.

"Nope," Deidara replied without looking up from his drawing.

"She's so late! What do we do if someone comes in here for a piercing?" The red-head shook his head in disbelief.

"Tell them to wait for her I guess…" Deidara said.

"Can't you talk to her? You're her boyfriend, she'll listen to you, no?"

And with those words coming out of Sasori's mouth, Itachi went through a rather big shock. That blonde guy was _straight_?

"No. She never listens to me." Deidara said, still focused on his drawing. "You can make him fill in the paper while I finish this…"

"Oh, yeah sure…"

A few seconds later Sasori found said paper and handed it to Sasuke. Itachi read over his brother's shoulder. Basically it said that they weren't responsible with complications with the healing of the tattoo, or if the person changed their mind afterwards, and such things. There was no refund, etc, etc.

"I'm gonna need to see your ID," Sasori said.

"Oh, no he's just sixteen but that's why Itachi's here," Naruto explained.

"Are you his father?" The red-head asked.

"What the hell?" Deidara exclaimed.

Naruto just laughed, and Sasuke and Itachi exchanged a similar confused glance. Itachi had never been told that he looked older than his age so...

"Dude," Deidara told him. "That's his brother, obviously."

Sasori crossed his arms. "Well that won't work. You need a parent…"

"Oh come on!" Deidara interrupted him, "Naruto's a good customer, and it's his boyfriend. Don't be a bitch."

"…Fine."

Itachi finally signed the damn thing, and Sasuke and Sasori made their way to the tattoo station with Deidara's now complete drawing. Naruto followed, and Itachi was about to do the same, but he stared when a girl suddenly arrived in the store.

"Hey sorry I'm late!" She exclaimed tiredly.

Deidara shrugged as he walked up to her. "It's okay. No one came in for piercings yet so it's cool."

She was tall for a girl, but still shorter than Deidara. Actually Itachi noticed for the first time that Deidara was quite tall, probably 5'11 or 6... Itachi himself was 6'2.

The girl had blue dyed hair and a lip piercing, and amber eyes. When she took off her jacket he saw that she had flower tattoos all over her arms. Itachi thought she had a strange look. But then again, not only he wasn't really into tattoos and piercings, but more importantly he wasn't into girls.

"Itachi, what do you think?" Sasuke suddenly asked.

Itachi stepped closer to the three others and looked at the back of his brother's neck. Sasori had given him clips to hold his hair.

"It looks great," he said sincerely.

They had only applied the drawing, to give an idea of what it would look like. It was perfectly centered and looked good.

"Cool," Sasuke shrugged.

"You ready?" Naruto asked. "It's gonna hurt a little, but it'll be fine…"

Itachi stepped away again. It was a little too crowded anyway, and he didn't want to be in Sasori's way as he started shooting ink in his brother's skin.

So instead he looked back at Deidara and his girlfriend. He noticed Deidara still had his hands in his pockets, and was just standing there rather awkwardly.

"What is it?" She asked him.

"Nothing." The blond said defensively.

She leaned closer as if to kiss him, but he shifted slightly, obviously a little uncomfortable.

"What's the matter?" She raised a brow at him.

"Konan…" He glanced away, hesitating, "Not here, there are customers…"

She crossed her arms under her breasts. "All right tell me what's wrong."

Deidara didn't reply.

She grabbed his wrist, tugging his hand out of his pocket. She was about to lift the sleeve, but Deidara yanked his arm away harshly.

"Stop it! What the hell?"

"Dei show me your arms." She ordered.

"What is wrong with you? I told you there are customers…"

He shoved his hand back in his pocket and walked away. He ran up the stairs and stormed outside. Konan turned her head and glared at Itachi. The latter shrugged and glanced away, as if to show her that he didn't give a shit. It seemed to work. Anyway, a few seconds later some hyperactive teenagers walked in because they wanted piercings, so she was busy with that for a while.

Itachi glanced back behind him. Sasuke was lying down on his stomach, his head in his crossed arms. He seemed in pain, but Naruto was comforting him, giving him words of encouragement, and rubbing the side of his arm gently.

When Itachi looked back at the front of the store, he saw Deidara come back in. He didn't so much as glance at Konan, who was still talking with the group of young people anyway, and walked up to Itachi. Of course, it wasn't to talk to him, but to look at Sasori's work. As he stood right next to him, Itachi could see that his hair was ruffled by the wind, and he thought it looked cute. He felt like running his fingers through it, to see if it was as soft as it looked.

"Your brother has a good resistance to pain," he suddenly said, "He barely even moves."

"What, most people do?" Itachi asked.

Deidara nodded, but didn't look at him. "Yeah some of them move so much that it's hard to draw the tattoo properly. Some people constantly growl or whine too… that's really annoying," he chuckled.

"They shouldn't get a tattoo if they can't handle it," the raven shrugged.

"I guess… Ah I love this song." Deidara muttered more to himself after a moment of silence, with a little smile on his lips.

Itachi personally didn't see much of a difference between that song and all the other ones that had played before. So he chose not to comment.

"It all seems like an eternity," Deidara started singing along, "this battle between us two, good and evil, me and you. Time has come to step up, and take back what you took from me…"

"You mean you actually understand what they're saying?" Itachi asked.

Deidara's blue eyes widened as he glanced at him. "Of course."

Naruto, having evidently caught that bit of conversation, answered in his place. "Don't bother, Itachi doesn't listen to good music."

"The term 'good music' is relative, Naruto," Itachi replied.

"Ah, well, once you're used to it, you can understand pretty much everything," Deidara explained.

He raised a fine brow. "I think you shouldn't have to 'get used to it' to be able to enjoy the lyrics of a song the first time you hear it."

Deidara frowned. Looking closely Itachi noticed that his eyebrows were delicate and pale just like his hair. Even his eyelashes were blonde.

"Metal lyrics are better than lyrics from any other genre of music in my opinion."

"And on what do you base your opinion?"

"Are you kidding? Listen to pop music and try telling me that's deep and meaningful."

"He's got a point," Naruto chuckled.

"Please don't make me laugh guys," Sasuke said in a pained voice.

"It's almost finished," Sasori reassured him.

Itachi rolled his eyes at Deidara. "You chose the worst example. Dance music. Of course it's not gonna be meaningful lyrics. It's for people dancing in clubs. They're mostly drunk, wasted; they just want a good beat to dance to. If I'm in a club partying, I don't want to hear a song about my life fading away or whatever…"

"Wow, you make clubbing sound like so much fun, now I really want to go," Deidara said sarcastically.

They were looking at each other in the eye, and slowly leaning closer without even realizing it.

"Well maybe it's better than sulking in your room listening to emo music all the time."

"Wow, that's the best you can do? An emo joke? You're probably disgusted by my style indeed, mister cashmere sweater and Dolce & Gabana glasses," Deidara replied.

Itachi had no idea if he'd really noticed or if he'd guessed right. Oh well… he just realized he had indeed forgotten to take off his glasses. His eyesight wasn't that bad, so he pretty much only wore his glasses to drive, or during class if he was sitting at the back. But taking them off after hearing that would have been lame, so he kept them on.

"Anyway," Itachi finally said, "all I'm saying is that there're different types of music for a reason. There's no point in comparing your lyrics with dance music as an argument to say it's better."

Deidara's blue eyes narrowed as he glared at him. "All right fine, for the dance clubs I get it. But what about people who constantly listen to that crap in their car? They're not wasted, and certainly not dancing."

Actually, Itachi agreed with him on that one. But he wanted to continue arguing. It was kind of fun to see the other getting worked up over a stupid argument like that.

"So what? If they like it, who are you to judge them? You think your music is better, but what's the point of beautiful lyrics if most people can't even understand them in the first place?"

"Like I said, you get used to it in like, no time, when you just take the time to listen…!" Deidara exclaimed, but he was interrupted by Naruto.

"Am I the only one who thinks their conversation is retarded?"

"No," Sasuke said.

Deidara snapped out of it, and he stepped back, glancing away. He ran his fingers through his hair nervously, loosening his hair tie.

"Whatever man… what music do _you_ listen to anyway?"

"I don't really like listening to music to be honest."

"What?" Deidara's eyes widened. He was looking at him as though he were the monster of his childhood nightmares come true. "That's impossible."

"I find it distracting. But you know what?" He made a little amused smile. "Maybe I'll actually start listening to music more often, just so that I can have better arguments with you."

"You're fucked up Itachi," Naruto said.

Deidara looked at him curiously, but didn't reply.

On the meantime Konan had finally led her customers to the other room to do their piercings. As for Sasori, he was finished with Sasuke's tattoo. They all looked at it. Deidara looked the more pleased; well, it was his design after all.

Sasori put a bandage on it, and then he explained how to take care of it. But in the middle he interrupted himself.

"Why don't you explain the rest Deidara? It'll be a good practice."

"Sure." Deidara smiled, and looked at Sasuke. "Well he pretty much said everything already. Only other thing would be no exposition to the sun. But summer's over so I guess that won't be a problem. And… yeah once again, it's very important not to scratch it. It can get itchy when it's healing but, no scratching."

"I'll give him advice anyway," Naruto shrugged.

"All right let's go at the cash… Sasori?"

"Sixty's fine…" The red-head answered.

"Cool, it's the minimum so," Deidara shrugged, "since it's small…"

Sasuke paid cash – Itachi realized the words "cash only" were written in front of the counter, so it made sense – and Deidara thanked him.

"Naruto already has our number." He shrugged. "So if you have any questions… don't hesitate!"

"Can I call?" Itachi asked mockingly. "I mean, if I want you to quote some more metal bands lyrics for me?"

Deidara glared at him. But Konan replied in his place as she passed behind him to go get a piercing in the display.

"Don't get him started on his damn music… you'll never hear the end of it."

The blonde stopped glaring at Itachi in order to glare at his girlfriend instead. But she didn't return his glance.

"Don't listen to them," Naruto said, "they don't know what they're talking about. Metal's awesome."

"Anyway, I guess we should go. I mean you did tell mom we'd be back for dinner…" Sasuke said.

"Yeah sure. Bye Deidara," Itachi said, looking him in the eye.

Flirting technique number one. To simply say the person's name while looking at them in the eye. No, really, Itachi had no idea what he was doing.

Deidara only glanced back at him, expression a mix of annoyance and curiosity.

"Dei come help me clean up will ya?" Sasori asked from his station.

"Yeah sure."

Itachi glanced back at the blond one last time before leaving. Deidara happened to be looking right back at him at the same time. How cute.

"Oh well, it was amusing after all," he said once the three of them were seated in his car.

Maybe he really would ask Naruto for that phone number…


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

After a long day at school Itachi was at the coffee shop near his university studying. He had stayed a little bit after his last class so he'd already missed dinner anyway. The coffee shop was open 24/7 and there were constantly a bunch of students there with their laptop computer – either working or social networking.

It had been a few days since he'd gone to that _Silver_ place. He was still thinking about Deidara sometimes. And that was unusual for Itachi. If he met someone relatively interesting at a club, he usually enjoyed a good one night stand, and then never wanted to see them again. He didn't believe in relationships. Not for him, anyway. He had never been in one, even though there had been more than a few requests from girls - and some boys.

And there he was, spacing out in front of his computer screen, thinking about a skinny blonde guy with piercings – and probably tattoos even though he hadn't seen them – and an obsession with metal music. But he brushed the thought away, thinking that it was probably only because he hadn't been to a club, and hadn't had a one night in a while. A while being about a month and a half. But still…

They were playing dance music in the coffee shop, and it made him feel like going out. He liked clubbing because it took his mind off things. The gym worked too, Itachi went once in a while actually. But dance clubs were something else entirely. He could just forget everything and dance all night, and meet someone and have a good time. Itachi was a great dancer, and he was even greater in bed, he knew it, and liked to show off those skills.

For the second time he brushed these distracting thoughts away and tried to concentrate on his project.

But a few minutes later he looked up as someone walked in the little restaurant, and his onyx eyes widened as he saw that it was Deidara. The latter didn't see him though, he walked straight to the counter to order, then he paid and just stood there waiting, thumbs in his belt loops and glancing down. He was wearing grey converse this time, but the rest of his outfit was similar to the one he'd been wearing at his work; skinny jeans and hoodie, all black. His long hair was tied up, but it didn't look like he had eyeliner this time. Itachi wished he could see him more closely.

When Deidara got his coffee he went to sit at a small table at the other side of the restaurant. No luck, Itachi sighed. Now he would look really stupid if he walked all the way there to talk to the blonde, and got turned down. And Itachi didn't like looking stupid. The fact that Deidara was actually sitting over there was quite distracting though, and he kept glancing in his direction. Deidara was drawing in his sketchbook. He seemed to be in his own little world, completely oblivious to the other people sitting around him.

Suddenly the blonde stretched his arms a little, and then took off his hoodie. He had a striped red and black tank top underneath, with grey arm warmers. From the way he was bent Itachi could see that he had a tattoo on his left shoulder blade. He couldn't quite make out what it was though. He pondered putting on his glasses to be able to see it better, but then realized that would be creepy. He just needed to stop looking at him.

Itachi actually managed to concentrate on his school work after that - but only for a few more minutes...

…

Deidara liked going to the coffee shop because it allowed him to relax with a nice latte, and just let the inspiration flow out of him. It was a nice change of atmosphere from his small apartment. He liked drawing, and also writing, sometimes. But tonight he felt like drawing. Tribal tattoos were his specialty, but he also liked drawing flowers. Actually right now he was working on a rose design. This was a really popular flower for tattoos, especially for girls of course.

About thirty minutes after Deidara got there, the coffee shop became rather crowded, and a group of three young guys came to sit at his table. Deidara frowned as he glared at them. He was a little bit antisocial, and he didn't like when people bothered him.

"Sorry but there's no other place." One of the guys said as he put down his iced cappuccino on the table and sat next to Deidara.

The other two guys imitated him. Deidara instinctively leaned back in his seat and closed his sketchbook.

"I was waiting for someone," he lied.

"Oh, well when they get here we'll just leave all right?" Another one said mockingly.

Deidara sighed, annoyed, and then he picked up his black messenger bag to put his sketchbook back in there. But the guy sitting beside him stopped him, and actually stole the sketchbook from him.

"What the hell?" Deidara said angrily, trying to get it back.

"Oh come on, I'm just curious. What do you write in there, love poems?" He mocked, still struggling to take it from Deidara.

Suddenly another voice was heard. "Hey Deidara… hum… what's going on here?"

Deidara continued holding his sketchbook, but he looked up, quickly flipping his bangs aside. That low, deep voice sounded familiar. And indeed it was that hot guy who had come to his job with his brother and Naruto the other day.

"Guys if you don't mind… there's a free table over there," Itachi continued, pointing at said table at the other side of the restaurant.

The stupid guy finally let go of the damn sketchbook. Deidara glared at him. The three guys finally complied, picked up their iced cappuccinos and went to sit at the other table.

Itachi put down his laptop case and sat in front of him. His hair was loose this time, and he wasn't wearing his glasses. He was even hotter like that, if possible. His dark eyes were deep and intense, and framed by long black eyelashes. His raven hair had bluish tints in it, depending on the light, and it was framing his handsome face nicely. It was sleek and looked incredibly soft, it was only curling slightly at his shoulders.

"Thank you," Deidara said, "I didn't even see you were here."

"Yeah I know." Itachi made a little amused smile, "You were so focused on your work."

Deidara glanced down at his sketchbook. "Yeah well…" He shrugged helplessly.

"Can I see your tattoo…?" Itachi asked.

Deidara looked up, and he realized Itachi was looking curiously toward his left shoulder.

"Oh, sure…"

He turned around slightly, to show him his left shoulder blade. He also reached with his hand to pull on his tank top, moving the fabric so that Itachi could see properly. It was a tribal raven bird, all black. The largest part was the wings, which was about four or five inches long.

"It's really beautiful."

Deidara turned again to face him, and he saw that he looked sincere.

"Thanks," he shrugged and his lips twitched into a small smile.

He took a sip of his latte, and then pushed it away, making a disgusted face. It was too cold now.

"Do you want another one?" Itachi asked.

"Ah no I'm good." He said, and then glanced at the laptop case. "You were studying…?"

"Yeah. Well, trying."

"University?"

"Yeah… second year computer engineering." Itachi answered. "You? I mean… are you a student?"

"No," Deidara answered simply. Then he realized Itachi was probably wondering why he was at that particular coffee shop. "But I actually live really close so I come here sometimes…"

Itachi nodded slightly, and glanced away for a moment. He seemed lost in his thoughts.

"What is it?" Deidara asked.

The raven turned to look at him again. "I've been thinking, I don't particularly like tattoos, but just a small one is really nice. Or even one the size of yours… I also like that it's all black, I really don't like colored tattoos."

"Well it depends on the personal preferences but I also prefer black. Actually all my tattoos are black," Deidara said. "But what are you getting at?"

"I think I might want one after all." He smiled, "I just decided that like, right now."

Deidara smiled back. "That's awesome. Do you have an idea of what you'd like?"

"Not really." He admitted, "But I do like birds I mean… I don't want to copy you or anything but… it just represents freedom to me."

"Yeah exactly. And I don't care if you copy me having a tattoo of a bird is not trademarked you know?"

"Well…" Itachi glanced down at his sketchbook. "Show me your drawings maybe it'll inspire me."

"All right…"

Deidara brushed his long blonde bangs behind his ears and opened the sketchbook, turning it toward Itachi. He flipped the pages until he got to the part where he'd drawn animal tattoos. Together they looked at all the animals in there, and discussed the possibilities. Deidara felt great, because this is what he loved to do. At work he rarely got to have talks like this with customers, it was always Sasori, or the other tattooist. So with Sasuke it had been really fun, and now, with Itachi, it was even better. Probably because he was so attracted to him…

This handsome face, full lips, pale skin, and damn, Deidara didn't know what his perfume was but it smelled so good. He particularly liked when they locked eyes together… those mysterious dark eyes were almost entrancing.

Deidara brushed those thoughts away forcefully. He had a girlfriend for Christ's sake… And here he was fantasizing shamelessly about a man.

With Itachi's explanations, Deidara eventually had an idea. He turned the sketchbook toward himself again, and flipped to a blank page. He started making a quick draft of what Itachi's tattoo could look like. He said he wanted it on the upper part of his arm. So Deidara drew flying birds in a wavy pattern, so that it would go from one side of Itachi's arm to the other, and then all the way up to his shoulder. It could look really great.

He looked up at Itachi, and blushed slightly…

"What?" Itachi asked, amused.

"Can I see your arm… it's just… it would help."

It was true, but for some reason he was shy to ask. Itachi complied though. He took off his long sleeve black shirt, revealing a simple white t-shirt underneath. He even rolled up the short sleeve of his left arm.

Deidara snapped out of his daze – he'd been staring at Itachi's defined muscles – and looked down at his drawing again. He flipped the page, and started over. When he was satisfied with the draft he showed Itachi.

"See, it would do this…" He reached with his index finger to show Itachi directly on his arm. "And then it would go there, and there…"

As his finger brushed against Itachi's pale skin he marveled at how soft it was. A light blush appeared on his cheeks and he pulled his arm back.

"I really like it," Itachi smiled. "Honestly, this is like, a crazy, spontaneous decision but… I feel like getting it done."

"Well that's great," Deidara laughed. "I'm certainly not the right person to try to talk you out of it. I also think this style of tattoo would look amazing on you so… If you just give me a day, I'll use my free time at work to draw it again, really make it perfect… And then we can schedule an appointment with Sasori…"

"Aren't you a tattoo artist as well?" Itachi raised a fine black eyebrow.

"Well yeah but I'm technically still in my training so…"

"But have you done it before?"

"Yeah on a couple of friends… well I mean the staff, pretty much."

"Do you think you could do mine?"

Deidara's blue eyes widened, and he scratched his hair nervously. "Yeah of course but… are you sure?"

"Yeah I want you to do it," he smiled.

"Wow… thank you… thanks for trusting me, seriously, you won't regret it!"

…

Later, at his small apartment, Deidara was lying down on his single bed, sketchbook in front of him. He was still working on Itachi's tattoo. He was really excited about this; his first real customer. He'd done a small flower tattoo on Konan's ankle, and also other small ones for Sasori, and his boss Yahiko. But that was it. He knew perfectly well how to do it; he'd been working at the place for almost three years now, and watched Sasori and the other tattooist, Nagato, so many times. But they didn't trust him enough yet. Granted, he was only 19 years old, and that the customers could feel insecure. But it wasn't fair, really, Nagato was 25, and Sasori was 23 – it wasn't that much older.

He eventually rolled on his back, and closed his eyes. It was way past midnight. But Deidara always had trouble sleeping. He was afraid of the nightmares haunting him. He was really tired though; he hadn't slept much the night before. Besides, he had to be at work at 10 am the next day. He didn't have a car, and either with the bus or subway it could take up to forty five minutes. So he had to get up at 8 am. So early…

He sighed, put his sketchbook away, and went to the bathroom. He brushed his teeth, and then proceeded to untangle his long, thick blond hair. He washed his face and then went back to his bedroom, glad he hadn't put on any eyeliner that day. He liked the style it gave him, but he hated having to take it off.

He stopped the music on his computer, and turned it off. Before turning off the light, he stripped to his boxers, tossing the clothes on the floor, sat on his bed and glanced down at his arms. There were many cuts in the insides of his arms, some old ones, some fresher ones…

He'd started doing this a year ago, and he just couldn't stop. It had been after a particularly vivid nightmare. He'd felt so hurt, so scared, so ashamed, and disgusted with himself all at once. He'd gotten up in the middle of the night, and pressed his scissors blade to the inside of his arm. It'd taken the painful feelings off his mind for a moment, replacing them with physical pain, and a certain numbness. It felt good and comforting, to be able to escape those dreadful feelings at least for a moment…

Konan wanted him to see a therapist. But he knew it wouldn't help…

He finally flicked off the lights and crawled under his sheets. He didn't fall asleep right away. He was still thinking about Konan, actually. They had been together for six months now. She was his first girlfriend. His first relationship at all. He was gay, but he pretended to be straight. He knew it was lame, but he just couldn't be with a guy…

And, just as so many other nights, his dreams reminded him again of the very reason why he was so afraid to be with a man. He woke up at 4:30 in the morning, panting and trembling, images of guys raping him still fresh in his mind. He could almost feel the pain in his body… But of course it was only a trick of his subconscious.

He pressed the blade to his skin, reopening a tiny scar. His breathing evened, and he calmed down. A few silent tears rolled down his cheeks, but he ignored them. He just crawled back in his sheets, feeling even more tired than before. He squeezed his eyes shut, hoping that this time no nightmare would haunt his sleep…

…

On Saturday afternoon, just like precisely a week ago, Itachi was getting ready to go to the tattoo and piercing place where Deidara worked. He put on fancy black sneakers, stylish dark gray jeans, and a simple dark red v-neck tee with a slim black leather jacket. He let his hair down, and placed his bangs in his mirror. He was trying to look good for a straight emo guy. He chuckled quietly. He wasn't so sure about the straight part. He'd noticed how Deidara had been looking at him at the coffee shop. And he knew that look. He'd gotten it often enough.

He went alone this time. His mother didn't question where he was going. She usually got more worried when it came to Sasuke. As he got in his car and started driving, he thought about the fact that he was getting a tattoo. He was surprisingly not freaking out about it. He really liked Deidara's drawings and ideas, and now he couldn't wait to see the final version. It would suit his style, and look really hot. And besides, for school, or future jobs, he'd always wear shirts with long enough sleeves to hide it, so it really wasn't a big deal.

Mikoto would totally freak out if she ever found out that her boys had tattoos, but that was another story. Minato would probably comfort her and bring her around, anyway.

Itachi luckily found a parking spot near the store, and then he made his way there. He was glad Naruto had shown him the place last time, because he definitely wouldn't have found it alone. There was a little 'Silver' poster in the window displays of the building, but it was easy to miss. He pushed the door open, and walked down the stairs on his right. At first he wondered if he really was at the right place. But yeah, he recognized his surroundings, only the people were different. There was a tall, skinny guy with long dark red hair behind the counter, and another guy with short, spiky, paler red hair and tons of piercings in his face was talking with a customer around the piercings displays.

Itachi walked up to the counter. The guy looked up, replaced some red strands behind his ear, and smiled at him.

"Hey, how can I help you?"

There it was, the look again. Except Itachi didn't care about this guy.

"Well I'm here for a tattoo…"

He cut him. "Perfect. You're talking to the right person."

"Uh, no, actually, I'm supposed to… have an appointment with Deidara?"

"Oh…" He looked disappointed. He glanced toward the last booth in the back of the room, hesitated, then looked back at Itachi. "Yeah he's getting ready but… Actually, I have a lot more experience. Deidara told me this would be your first tattoo, so… I don't feel too comfortable with a beginner doing it instead of me."

On the meantime the other customer had left. Itachi supposed he'd just wanted information. So the other red-head joined them.

"Oh shut it Nagato. If we never let Deidara practice, he'll never be more than a beginner, right? Anyway…" He turned to look at Itachi and offered his hand. "I'm Yahiko, I'm the owner of this place, actually. It's always nice to meet a new customer."

Itachi shook his hand. "I'm Itachi. Nice to meet you too."

The other guy looked jealous that Itachi's attention had been stolen from him. He walked around the counter to stand right next to him.

"Let me introduce myself properly. I'm Nagato, and if you don't feel comfortable with Deidara doing your tattoo, don't hesitate to ask me."

Itachi also shook this guy's hand, but just to be polite. He was kind of annoying.

"No it's fine," he said.

Yahiko went to tell Deidara that Itachi was here. A few seconds later the pretty blonde made his appearance. He wore black arm warmers and a black Skillet t-shirt. His hair was tied up as usual, but a few loose strands came out of the tie and it looked really cute and sexy. Actually those were two words, Itachi thought, which defined Deidara very well.

"Itachi! Hi!" He smiled.

"Hey, what's up?" He replied casually.

"I'm ready, actually. What about you? Still certain about your decision?"

"Absolutely."

"Awesome. Come on…" He motioned towards the last tattoo station where he'd been working earlier, and Itachi followed him there.

The blonde sat at the little desk, and Itachi took place in the chair next to him.

"This looks really great," he said sincerely as he glanced at Deidara's drawing.

"And it'll look even better on you," Deidara smiled as he picked up the carbon copy of the tattoo.

Itachi took off his jacket and rolled up his left sleeve. Deidara got up and took his time to apply the tattoo stencil. He finally pressed it to Itachi's arm, keeping it there for a moment. When he took it off he looked at it, smiled appreciatively, and invited Itachi to look in the mirror. So he did.

The flying birds design was in a circular pattern around his arm, all the way up to his shoulder. And it was so perfect that it even seemed to follow and flatter his muscles. It clashed with his pale-white skin, just like his hair and eyes. And of course with the stencil it was a dark violet shade, but it would look even better black.

"Well, it's perfect," he told Deidara, voicing his thoughts. "Let's do it."

Deidara's smile widened, "Great!"

Itachi sat down in the chair again, and Deidara moved his own seat closer. He brought an arm support and put Itachi's left arm on it, that way it was easier for him to do the tattoo.

He prepared the tattoo gun and the black ink.

"The most important thing is that you don't move," he said, "If you want me to stop don't hesitate. Some people are a little scared for their first tattoo, so I'm supposed to say some reassuring things right now," he chuckled, "but you don't look scared at all."

"I'm not," Itachi looked up at him, giving a slight shrug.

"All right…"

The blonde leaned closer, a concentrated look on his pretty face. He placed his left hand on Itachi's arm, right above his elbow, and with his right hand he started applying the ink.

It did hurt a little, but it wasn't so bad. It wasn't a pleasant feeling, that was for sure, but it wasn't as painful as he'd expected.

"You're okay so far?" Deidara asked as he paused to wipe the excess of blood and ink with a soft cloth.

"Yeah I'm good," he answered.

"Okay!"

Deidara was very focused on his work. Which meant Itachi could check him out the whole time, of course. He was wearing eyeliner this time. Itachi thought he was pretty with or without it, but it did make his bright eyes stand out more. Depending on the light there were grey and even some violet tints in that unique blue shade. Damn, Itachi was certain he could look at this guy for hours and never get tired of it…

A funny fact was that Itachi's arm was in a rather awkward position. Since Deidara was sitting really close, and was holding his arm to be able to tattoo him, well it was kind of touching Deidara's thigh. But nothing could be done about it. Besides, no one was complaining.

He decided to try to start a conversation. He figured, if it distracted Deidara too much, he could just stop.

"So you don't only listen to death metal, huh?"

Deidara paused to wipe his skin again, and their eyes met before he continued tattooing him.

"Why do you ask that?"

"Well, the band on your shirt is more rock alternative, no?"

"Oh, you know them," Deidara made a little smile, but he was still really concentrated. Which was a good thing.

"Yeah. Well Skillet's one of my brother's favorite bands so… They're not bad."

"I'd say I listen to anything from rock, punk, screamo, and of course metal. All that good stuff."

There was a silence, and Itachi tried to pay attention to the music currently playing in the store. Again, he couldn't make out the lyrics.

"What's playing right now?"

"That's uh… My apocalypse, by Arch Enemy." He answered, taking a little break, "You still doing good?" He looked up.

"Yeah." When Deidara continued his tattoo, he asked, "What's he singing?"

"Neglecting existence repulse and repent," Deidara repeated the lyrics he was hearing, "An endless journey into the morbid, whispering voices distorting all senses, buried beneath a scarred heart for too long."

"That's incredibly cheerful," Itachi said sarcastically.

Deidara ignored his comment. "I like this part," he said.

Itachi listened to the music for a moment. Actually he liked this particular part too, because there was no singing. It was just instrumentals, featuring a really good guitar solo. But then the screaming started again.

"By the way it's a girl singing," Deidara informed him.

"You're kidding, right?"

"No it's true," he chuckled.

Itachi's arm was starting to hurt a little bit more, but he stayed very still. At least they were talking, and it distracted him from the pain a little.

"I'm sorry I don't believe you," he said.

That voice just couldn't be coming from a girl.

Deidara looked up at him for a brief moment, and smiled, amused. "It's true," he repeated. "Her name's Angela Gossow."

Itachi was still doubtful, and it must have shown on his face, because Deidara continued.

"Tell you what, some other time, I'll show you one of their music videos."

They stayed silent after that. Itachi didn't mention that it would be easy for him to just go check out said music videos on his own, because the fact that Deidara wanted to show him implied that they would see each other again soon, and that made Itachi's heart warm up.

After twenty more minutes Deidara was almost finished. He was looking at his skin intently, doing touch-ups here and there just to make it perfect. Itachi liked that he was being really professional. After all, he was doing this on a whim, and he could've ended up regretting it if Deidara screwed up. But it was obvious that he was really talented for this. Seriously, Itachi hoped that the rest of the staff would realize this and give him a chance.

When Deidara pulled away and put down his material, Itachi glanced at him. Deidara looked up and smiled happily.

"All done! Take a look."

Itachi stood up and looked in the mirror again. The skin was red and swollen but it was normal obviously. The tattoo was nice and simple, and the details were great. Deidara had really done a great job on such a short notice.

"I really like it. Thank you," he said as he turned to look at the blonde again.

He gave a slight shrug. "You're welcome! Actually, thank you for letting me do it. It was my pleasure." He blushed slightly and glanced down, "I just need to bandage it, and we're all done, for real."

Itachi sat back in the chair while Deidara applied a thick lotion on his skin, and then the bandage gently around his arm. When he was done he pulled down his sleeve.

"There you go."

"Thanks," Itachi said. He got up and put his leather jacket back on, wincing slightly when he lifted his left arm.

Deidara noticed this and made a face. "Ah yeah it might hurt for a day or two when you lift your arm. But don't worry it won't last long."

"I think I'll survive."

Deidara chuckled, and then they stayed silent for a moment, just looking at each other. Deidara seemed a little bit shy and nervous all of a sudden. Itachi thought he was the cutest thing in the world.

"So…" the blonde finally said, "I'm just gonna charge you minimum amount. Sixty dollars, like your brother. Yours is bigger, but it was practice for me, so you were kind of doing me a favour at the same time!" He shrugged.

Itachi frowned as they made their way towards the cash.

"You can charge me full price… It's really okay."

Deidara shook his head firmly as he took place behind the counter. "Nope! 60 dollars, I won't take more!"

Itachi chuckled as he took out his wallet from his jacket pocket. He gave him seventy dollars.

"What did I just tell you!" Deidara exclaimed, chuckling, as he handed him back the extra ten dollars.

"No keep it," Itachi protested, "It's for, like, tips. I mean, you guys take tips, right?"

Deidara hesitated, but since Itachi wasn't taking it back, he put it in his skinny jeans' pocket reluctantly.

"Yeah… well thank you," he said shyly.

Glancing around, Itachi saw that Yahiko was busy cleaning the piercing room, and he couldn't see Nagato anywhere. Maybe he was taking his break or something. But at the moment he was alone with Deidara, and he didn't feel like leaving just yet.

"Your colleagues… I mean, Nagato and Sasori, they have so many tattoos. Like even on their arms and neck… Do you want to look like that too or…?" Itachi asked, curious.

"Oh, no," Deidara shook his head. "I don't plan on having that many."

"Just curious, how many do you have now?"

"Well… five. Why?"

Itachi shrugged, smiling. "Told you, just curious. Will you show me?"

Deidara's beautiful blue eyes widened, and he replaced his hair behind his ears nervously. A cute blush covered his cheeks.

"Sure… hum… if you want."

He walked around the counter to face Itachi.

"You already saw the raven tribal I have on my back. And hum… I have this small one…"

He turned his head and pulled on the hair behind his right ear, showing Itachi the small kanji, which meant hope, he had there, and his piercings at the same time. Itachi realized he was already used to it, and actually he thought those silver studs looked good on this guy.

"And I have… this…" Deidara continued.

He let his hair down and instead he pulled back his left arm warmer, revealing his wrist. Itachi noticed he was careful not to roll back the sleeve more than necessary. He had the words _true freedom_ written in English, on the inside of his wrist in elegant cursive letters.

"I guess I can show you this one…" Deidara said, this time bending over and pulling up his pants.

He had a guitar tattoo on the side of his left calf. It was tribal style, with flames surrounding it. It looked good, and fit his style and the rest of his tattoos. It was also all black, but then Itachi remembered Deidara had specified all of his tattoos were black. Also, he really didn't have much body hair, and it was very pale, so a tattoo at this place worked for him.

"Well, you said five, right? Where's the other one?" Itachi asked, amused, and Deidara's blush returned. "What? Is it, like, at an embarrassing place or…?"

"Not really… It's just…" Deidara fumbled with his ponytail nervously. "I don't know I feel like you're gonna make fun of me, but whatever…"

Itachi raised a brow, but didn't comment. Deidara grabbed the hem of his t-shirt, on the right side, and he lifted it up to show him his fifth tattoo. It was the word _metal_ written vertically on his side, in a gothic writing. Just like the other tattoos, it looked nice on him and fit his style. Besides, Itachi enjoyed the sight of that revealed torso, even if only partly. Deidara seemed to have a really nice and toned body, even if a little skinny. Itachi definitely wouldn't mind seeing more. But Deidara replaced his shirt nervously. The raven wondered if he was self-conscious. He definitely had no reason to be…

"Why would I make fun of you? I mean you're passionate about your favorite music so it makes sense…" Itachi said. "Seriously, for a moment there you scared me. I thought you had like, a tattoo of a silly cartoon or something."

Deidara laughed, "No."

Yahiko chose this moment to leave the piercing room and walk up to them. He slapped Deidara's back in a friendly way.

"So, your first customer! Did it go well?" He asked, glancing from Deidara to Itachi.

"Yeah he was amazing," Itachi nodded, smiling.

"Good, I'm glad," Yahiko smiled back, "All right hum…" He glanced towards the entrance of the store, "I guess I'm gonna go tell Nagato to bring his ass back in here. Smoking break can't be that long. Be right back."

Deidara watched him walk away, and then looked back at Itachi.

"So… before you go… I… I don't have a business card yet but…" He sighed shakily and glanced away.

"Do I make you nervous?"

Itachi couldn't help but take advantage of the situation. He was a little bit cruel sometimes. Even with the people he liked.

Then he realized he had just admitted to himself that he liked someone other than his close family. That was a first.

"No!" Deidara replied a little too quickly. Then he took a deep breath. "Look, I just wanted to give you my phone number…"

"I was gonna ask you anyway," Itachi smirked.

Deidara's expression was a mix of relief and annoyance. It was amusing, really.

"Okay but… it's really just if you have questions about your tattoo."

"Sure…" He said in a low, sexy voice.

"I mean you can call at the store instead if you want, but as you can see those idiots are not always here to answer…" Deidara continued.

Itachi already had his own cell in his hands, ready to enter a new contact. So Deidara interrupted himself, and gave him his cell phone number. Itachi saved it, and put his phone back in his pocket.

After that Yahiko and Nagato got back inside.

"Anyway," Deidara said, "bye Itachi, take care."

"Yeah you too," he smiled.

"Bye Itachi!" Nagato smiled at him, but all he got from Itachi was a quick glance and a polite nod.

As he walked toward his car he had a small smile on his lips. Of course, he wasn't planning on using that phone number only to ask questions about his tattoo…

...

_I just realized the ending to this chapter is very similar to the first one... it wasn't intentional lol it kinda just got written that way. Anyway, thanks for reading, I hope you liked it._


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Deidara received a text from Itachi on Tuesday. He had the day off, and he was just staying home and watching one of his favorite comedy movies on his laptop. It helped take his mind off things.

Itachi's text said, _"Hey just wanted to say thanks again for my tattoo, I really like it. You did an amazing job."_

Deidara kept picking up his cell to read it over and over. He wondered if he should answer. But for the last two days, he'd been really anxious, and he regretted giving his cell number to Itachi. What was the point? He didn't want to be his friend, and he certainly didn't want a relationship. It had been a whim. On the spur of the moment, he'd felt like he could actually, maybe, possibly, develop a relationship with this guy. But of course he couldn't…

He'd never had any friends. He was the socially awkward type. In elementary and high school, he was constantly mocked, bullied and beaten up by other kids because he was too effeminate for a guy. So he learned to be tough; what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, after all.

As for his family, that was another story… His mother was very sick during the pregnancy, and she'd died shortly after. His father had put the blame on him. Let's just say, he had absolutely no one. Deidara had always been on his own.

At sixteen he quit school and ran away from home. At least he had enough savings thanks to a part-time job at a fast food restaurant to get an apartment. Even though it was really small and practically falling to pieces – the wall was cracking and there were some holes in the floor – it was better than living in the streets.

But even at his jobs no one had befriended him. He couldn't blame them. He was the one who kept a distance with people. And they usually found him weird and antisocial – which was kinda true anyway. But with his passion of tattoos and piercings, he'd been visiting his favorite place – _Silver_ of course – so often that they eventually offered him a job. Yahiko and Konan had always been nice to him. And Nagato was okay, too. Sasori had actually asked him out a few times in the beginning, but Deidara had always refused. Instead he'd started going out with Konan.

He liked his job, and enjoyed these guys' company, if anything. But he still couldn't consider them as friends. They didn't know a thing about him. Even Konan… Of course she always tried to get him to open up. But he just couldn't… Their relationship was doomed to end soon, and it was Deidara's entire fault. He didn't mind going on dates, and he really enjoyed when they went to see shows of bands he liked. He didn't mind sex, either, although for him it felt awkward sometimes.

But there was something missing. He didn't love her, of course. And he simply couldn't be emotionally close to anyone. She had been really insistent lately, and asking more and more questions, and he was starting to get uncomfortable around her. She wasn't an idiot, she had realized that, and they would probably break up soon…

He sighed heavily, suddenly not enjoying his stupid parody movie anymore. He read Itachi's text again. He could just answer something like, "No problem!" or "My pleasure, really."

But instead he put his phone away.

…

The next day, on Wednesday morning, while Deidara was cleaning the bathroom of the store, he got another text from Itachi. This one said, _"Hey just sitting in class bored out of my mind right now… decided to text you but you're not gonna answer are you?"_

Deidara made a little smile, shook his head slightly, and put the phone back in his pocket.

…

On Thursday afternoon, he was helping Nagato clean up his tattoo station when he got another text, _"You do remember you have a video to show me, right?"_

"Who is it from?" Nagato looked up, "Konan?"

"No," he said simply, and Nagato shrugged. Deidara still didn't answer.

…

On Friday evening Deidara had just finished working, and was in the bus to get back home, when he received his fourth message from Itachi. _"Finally Friday night… there's this cool guy I'd totally invite to go out, but he's not answering any of my texts…"_

He smiled and chuckled, and shook his head in disbelief. A guy as hot as Itachi could have anyone, so why was he losing his time with him?

…

The next day he got, _"FYI I didn't end up going out… Do blame yourself."_

On Sunday, Itachi's text said, _"Are you even reading these?"_ It made Deidara laugh as he was sitting alone behind the counter at Slicks. Konan interrupted her discussion with a customer to eye him curiously.

Monday and Tuesday were his days off as always. Itachi continued texting him everyday. His messages respectively said, _"Maybe I shouldn't have asked for your phone number. Oh wait, right, you're the one who wanted to give it to me." _And, _"I want another tattoo."_

That last one made Deidara frown and stare at the small screen for a moment. Was he serious?

But on Wednesday, Itachi's text said, _"I was kidding yesterday. But oh well, it was worth a try. All right, I'll stop now. It was nice meeting you."_

"You okay buddy?" Yahiko's voice brought him out of his thoughts.

"Uh... yeah… I'm taking my fifteen minutes break," Deidara said, and he quickly made his way outside.

Itachi would stop texting him now. That was what he wanted, right? Except he wasn't so sure anymore.

Heart beating really fast, and not even sure why he was doing this, or of what he would say, he called Itachi.

He really hoped the answering machine would pick up. It would be much less intimidating.

"Hello?" Itachi's low, sexy voice said.

No luck.

"H-Hi… um… how are you?" He asked lamely.

"I'm good, just finished class…" He said in an amused voice. "And you?"

"I'm… I'm okay um… I'm sorry I didn't answer before…"

"Well I was starting to think that maybe you gave me a fake number and that I was sending all those texts to a complete stranger who already blocked my number anyway," he chuckled through the phone.

Deidara laughed nervously, "Sorry…"

He really didn't know what to say, actually. He realized he'd just called because he missed Itachi, and he didn't want to lose contact with him completely.

"Do you want to make it up to me?"

His blue eyes widened at the strange question, and he almost got hit by people walking down the street quickly. He stepped back to lean against the wall of the building.

"What do you mean?"

"Well I think I've made it obvious enough that I want to see you again."

"What did you have in mind?" Deidara asked, and then cursed himself because seeing that guy again was definitely not a good idea.

"We could just meet at the coffee shop again, what do you think?"

"… Okay," he bit his lip.

"Tonight?"

"…"

"Deidara?"

Damn he liked hearing his name in that guy's voice. And it was only over the phone…

"Yeah okay."

"Great! I could be there at five, after my last class…"

"Oh, um, I only finish work at 8…"

"That's okay I'll wait for you."

"You sure you don't mind?"

"Absolutely not. I wanted to go to the gym anyway. I'll see you later then?"

"Yeah," Deidara smiled. "See you later."

They hung up. Deidara had never felt so nervous in his life. Sure he'd felt afraid many times, stressed out, panicked... But he'd never felt this freakin nervous, it was so intense that he almost felt sick…

He took a few deep breaths, forcing himself to calm down to at least finish his work shift.

…

It was 6 pm, and Itachi was at University gym complex. It was rather big, and they had very good prices for students. He felt like swimming lengths in the pool, but with his recent tattoo it wasn't such a good idea. So instead he was running on the machine. He was listening to his IPod, lost in his thoughts.

His selection was mostly dance, house, and trance music. Deidara would probably mock him for that, he thought with a little smile. But he liked listening to this kind of music while doing sports. And it made him think about dance clubs, too. He thought Deidara would look good in his tiny skinny jeans and tank top, maybe a little bit drunk, with his hair all loose and messy and dancing in his arms, just slutty enough. Itachi really liked that mental image.

After thirty minutes of intense cardio, he stretched his muscles – not without getting some lustful looks from the female population currently in the gym – and then made his way to the locker room. He picked up his shampoo, body soap and a towel and went to a separate shower stall.

He took his time, washing himself thoroughly. He knew he had to wait for Deidara until 8 anyway. After his shower he put his clothes back on – black jeans, long sleeve dark blue shirt and his black leather jacket. He ruffled his hair a little in front of the mirror, and decided to just leave it like that.

Afterwards he walked outside towards the parking lot, feeling relaxed. He left all of his stuff in his car, except for his laptop case, which he swung over his shoulder. Then he walked all the way to the coffee shop. There weren't that many people left on campus since it was evening already. It was pleasant to walk in the area when there weren't crowds of people everywhere. He shoved his hands in his pockets. It wasn't even October yet, but the nights were already getting colder.

At the little restaurant he ordered a large green tea and went to sit with his laptop. Checking his watch, he saw that he still had forty minutes before Deidara joined him. And probably more since Deidara finished at 8, and would need to get here from downtown. So he got to work.

They seemed like the longest forty minutes of his life. And as he had expected, Deidara got there only at 8:30. But it was all worth it. He looked cute in black skinny jeans with chains hanging from the waist band, and a striped blue and gray t-shirt. He also wore arm warmers as usual. But that look worked for him. The cutest thing was that he looked so nervous.

When he spotted Itachi he made a little smile and came to sit in front of him at the little table.

"Hey," he said in a shy voice.

"Hey, what's up?" Itachi replied. He closed his laptop but didn't put it away.

"Not much I guess… I hope you didn't wait too long."

Itachi shrugged, "I got some work done."

Deidara nodded slightly, and then glanced back at the counter. "Do you want something?"

"No I'm good," Itachi answered.

"Okay, I'll just… be right back."

He took out a small, worn out wallet from his pocket and went to order. Itachi felt like walking up to him and hugging him from behind. Then he cleared his thoughts, shaking his head. It wasn't like him to have random romantic thoughts like that.

When Deidara came back with a large cup Itachi smiled knowingly.

"Latte?"

"It's like a drug," the blond shrugged helplessly.

"Yeah well, they make the best ones here, I have to admit. Even though I'm not a big fan of coffee."

"So…" Deidara said slowly after a moment of silence. "Um… do you work?"

"Only in the summer," Itachi answered, "I'm lucky; my parents are paying for my studies, so..."

"Oh… that's great."

Deidara brought his coffee to his lips, but probably decided it was too hot because he put it down again. He looked up at Itachi and their eyes met, but then he looked away quickly.

"Don't be nervous," Itachi told him softly.

"I'm not," he said defensively.

Itachi chuckled, and then looked down at his laptop thoughtfully. "I have an idea." He turned it towards Deidara. "You wanted to show me something, right?"

"Oh, right…"

He opened the computer and typed something, probably going on youtube, Itachi supposed. On the meantime Itachi took out his ear buds.

Deidara hesitated, and then got up and brought his chair next to Itachi. He turned the computer towards them.

"Well, here you go," he pointed at the screen, looking up at Itachi.

Itachi put on one ear bud, but gave the other one to Deidara. He shrugged, smiled, and put it in his ear. He pressed play and they watched together. The title of the video said _Arch enemy – My apocalypse (official video)_.

At first it was just instrumentals, but then a blonde girl started singing, well, more like screaming. It was exactly like all those other death metal singers. Itachi was shocked; he really hadn't thought a woman could sing like this. Maybe he was sexist, but this was surprising to him.

"Well that's fucked up…" He chuckled.

Deidara laughed and stopped the video. He glanced at him sideways.

"Told ya."

After that Itachi put his laptop away, and Deidara returned to his place in front of him. He took a sip of his latte, and locked eyes with Itachi again.

"I just wanted to say um… sorry about not answering you. I mean, you must think I'm really weird…"

"I'm sure you have your reasons," Itachi shrugged and smiled, "But you're here now so…"

"Yeah," he smiled back. He still looked a little nervous, but not as much. "So did your tattoo heal well?"

"Yeah it's perfectly healed."

Itachi proceeded to lift up his sleeve so that he could show him. He leaned forward and put his elbow on the table. Deidara reached to brush his fingers against his skin. The tattooed skin was still a little bumpy, but that was normal.

"I'm glad!" Deidara said sincerely.

Itachi felt almost disappointed when the blonde removed his fingers. He rolled down the sleeve and leaned back in his seat.

"So do you have customers now?"

"No…" Deidara made a sad smile. "Yahiko doesn't mind, but Nagato and Sasori want to keep their customers you know? I understand that. I guess I have to be patient."

"That sucks. You're really talented. Not that I have an incredible experience with tattoos but… Just my opinion."

The blond made a little laugh, "Thanks."

"So other than working, drawing and listening to music what do you do?" Itachi asked him.

"Actually that's pretty much all I do." He chuckled, "No um… I don't know. I guess I just do a bunch of random stuff…"

"Like…?"

"I don't know… I spend a lot of time on my computer, I watch movies, I read, I write…"

"You write?"

"Yeah well just for fun," The blond shrugged, "And I never finish my stories, so…"

"What do they talk about?"

"Fantasy, mostly. Like, I'm a fan of vampires and werewolves stories – the good ones… not like… Twilight."

Itachi laughed, "Right. Well, I'd love to read your stories. Maybe all you need to finish them is a little encouragement."

Deidara scratched his hair and glanced away shyly. "Ah, no, it's not good enough to be read. So, what do you like to read?"

Not a very subtle change of subjects, but Itachi decided to drop it. For now.

"Sci-fi, horror, I also read fantasy sometimes actually."

They continued talking about their favorite books and authors, and then they moved on to movies. That was where their tastes differed a lot. Itachi liked horror, and suspense movies, whereas Deidara liked comedies and parodies.

"…It's just that, I need something to distract me, you know?" Deidara was saying. "When I'm alone, sometimes I just need a good laugh. And like, I can't believe you've never seen Harold and Kumar. It's like, the awesomest movie ever."

Itachi chuckled; Deidara was such a teenager sometimes. Actually, he realized at that moment he didn't even know his age. So he decided to ask.

"Hey how old are you?"

Deidara looked surprised by the question. But then he made a little smile. "How old do you think?"

"I'm not good at that game." Itachi said, but tried anyway. "Uh… twenty?"

"You're close. I'm 19. You?"

"Twenty-one."

"When's your birthday?"

"June 9, when's yours?"

"It's May 5…"

"Duly noted."

Deidara raised a delicate blonde eyebrow. "What are you talking about? That's really far you don't have to remember."

"Why not?"

"Well we barely know each other so what's the point?"

"That can change…"

Itachi knew he appeared like the kind of guy who knew what he was doing, but really he didn't. It was his first time actually flirting with someone outside of a bar or a club.

He frowned, though, when he saw that Deidara was glancing down and looked kind of sad.

"What's wrong?"

The blonde looked up and forced a smile, "Nothing."

"You sure?"

"Yeah… But… I think I'm gonna go."

He got up, and Itachi imitated him, putting on his jacket and placing his laptop bag over his shoulder.

"Let me walk you home at least," he offered, remembering last time Deidara had mentioned he lived nearby.

"You really don't have to," Deidara said as they walked up to the door.

They stepped outside and started walking in the opposite direction of the University campus.

"I want to," Itachi said simply.

He wanted to spend as much time as possible with Deidara. Besides, it was late and dark outside. He knew he was being silly, and Deidara probably walked on that street late at night all the time, but he felt protective.

After a few minutes Deidara started shivering. So Itachi decided to give him his jacket.

"No keep it," Deidara protested.

Itachi insisted, "I'm fine, really."

Deidara hesitated, then took it and put it on. The slim black leather jacket looked good on him. Actually Itachi felt like he would really enjoy playing dress up for Deidara. They could go shopping, and he could choose all sorts of fancy clothes for him. Damn, there was no end to all the things he wanted to do with this guy. He chuckled inwardly at his own innuendo.

Suddenly Deidara's cell vibrated, and he took it out of his pocket to look at it. Itachi glanced sideways, curious. The caller ID read Konan. Deidara rejected the call and shoved his phone back in his pocket without a word. Itachi didn't comment.

Deidara cleared his throat and said, "Did you know, if you turn on that street you can have a pretty great view of downtown…" He looked to the left and Itachi followed his glance.

"Really?"

"Yeah… You wanna go?"

"Sure," Itachi smiled.

Deidara smiled back as they turned left on a quieter, residential street. They continued walking in silence, but it wasn't awkward. The street was going up and since they were walking quite fast, it was actually a good work out. Itachi was used to cardio exercises of course, and wasn't having any trouble. But Deidara seemed just as comfortable with their fast pace.

"You seem in pretty good shape."

Deidara shrugged, glancing at him sideways, "Well I don't have a car so I'm always walking everywhere. I'd like to go at a gym though. But it's kind of expensive."

"Yeah…" Itachi admitted.

When they walked all the way down the street there was a round and large paved area surrounded by a stoned wall. But it wasn't high, and they went to climb and sit on it. The view really was amazing. It was the city center indeed, with all the city lights. And it was also nice to look up at the clear sky; from here they could see more stars than at pretty much any other place in town.

But Deidara's profile was also a very beautiful sight. His long blonde hair danced in the wind, and his delicate face was peaceful. Itachi couldn't help but think that this moment could be very romantic if they were a couple. He could hold the small male in his arms… Ah there he was again, with the romantic thoughts. Could it be that, after all this time of being single and happy about it, he longed for a relationship?

Or, he reasoned with himself, he just really needed to get laid.

"Do you go out sometimes?" He asked Deidara.

He turned to look at him. "Sometimes," he said, "Well to be honest there's only one place where I like to go, some club with a weird name in front of my job; they play metal."

"Why am I not surprised?" Itachi chuckled. "So you've never been anywhere else?"

"Konan and the others convinced me to go to a normal dance club once. But I hated it…"

"Why, because of the music?"

"Not only that," he shook his head, "It's too crowded, it's too hot, I felt like I was suffocating in there…"

"Ah yeah I know what you mean," Itachi nodded, "Well, not all the clubs are like that. I like going out in the village..."

"You mean in gay clubs?"

"Yeah," Itachi answered, amused.

If Deidara wasn't gay, Itachi thought, then he was bisexual. Because from the look in his deep blue eyes when he stared at Itachi, well it was obvious, he was attracted to him.

"Just checking," Deidara said nervously.

"There's one club I like, they don't play metal, but there're two floors with different types of music, and they have the nicest terrace, with a hot tub on the roof."

"That does sound pretty great," Deidara chuckled and smiled.

"We could go if you want. Like, this weekend…?"

Deidara frowned and glanced away, again with this sad look on his beautiful face. He swung his legs and jumped down. Itachi imitated him, and without a word they started walking again.

"I'll take that as a no," Itachi said.

"It's just…" Deidara hesitated, still glancing down, "it's not really my thing."

"It's okay."

Deidara was walking even faster now. He looked like he wanted to get home quickly, and this saddened Itachi.

They turned left on Deidara's street, and actually his apartment complex was in the next block. So they stopped and just stood there awkwardly for a moment.

"Let me just suggest one last thing," Itachi said, "and I swear, if you turn me down, I'll leave you alone. You said you wanted to go to a gym earlier, well, I'm a member of the university gym, so I'm allowed to bring a friend for one day for free. And then if you like the place you can look at their prices… I mean it's really close to your place and all…"

Deidara slowly looked up at him, and his lips twitched into a smile. "All right…"

Itachi knew he would accept. Deidara clearly didn't want Itachi to leave him alone. Just like with his last text message, when he'd said that he would stop, well Deidara had called him right after.

"Perfect, so uh… I usually go to the gym on weekends, but I suppose you're working?"

"Yeah my days off are Monday and Tuesday."

"Well I can go on Monday morning, since I only have classes in the afternoon. What do you say?"

"Deal," Deidara chuckled.

"I'll see you on Monday then."

Deidara nodded, and Itachi started walking away.

"Itachi, wait! You forgot this…"

He turned around. Deidara was taking off his jacket.

"Oh keep it. You can give it back on Monday. It's to make sure you don't ditch me," Itachi smiled teasingly.

Deidara smiled back, but strangely, Itachi felt like it was forced.

When he started walking away again, he decided he would seek help from his family for relationship advice.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

On Friday evening, after work, Deidara took the bus to Konan's house. He'd been avoiding her lately, but today she insisted that they should see each other. After fifteen minutes he got off the bus and walked the rest of the way to her place.

She still lived with her family, and they had a large and nice house, just like the rest of the houses in this richer area of town. Her father was a doctor, and he still wasn't over the shock that his daughter worked as a piercer at 20 years old. He also refused to talk to Deidara. He preferred acting like he didn't exist. The only reason why Konan could stay, and invite her boyfriend once in a while, was her mother, who was more tolerant.

But when Deidara knocked on the door, it wasn't one of her parents who answered. It was worst.

"Konan! Your emo boyfriend's here!"

Her little brother, a horrible fifteen year old monster. He reminded Deidara of the kids who used to bully him at school. He really hated going to Konan's place…

The blue-haired girl finally walked down the stairs.

"Oh hey Dei, I'm glad you're here. You want to take a walk?"

"Sure." Anything but being in that house…

She picked up her jacket and they started walking together. Deidara was wearing Itachi's leather jacket. It had the familiar, delicious perfume on it. He knew he probably shouldn't be wearing it, but it was Itachi's fault for not taking it back, really.

"How was work today?"

"Lots of people," he chuckled, "I actually felt useful for once."

"That's cool, Yahiko must've been in a really good mood."

"Yup."

Yahiko was the owner after all, so he was always pleased when business was good. As for Deidara, he felt useful because with so many customers, he could help give information, and take all the appointments for tattoos. For people who wanted piercings well, sure he couldn't do them himself, but he could still inform them and sell the jewellery.

"Hey you bought a new jacket?" Konan asked.

"Oh, no… it's not mine, actually. I need to give it back to my friend next time I see him."

"What friend?" She asked, raising a brow.

He glanced away, uncomfortable. Of course, Konan knew all too well that he didn't have any friends except from the staff at Silver.

"A new friend," he said childishly.

"All right…" She sighed, "And how are your arms?"

"Stop making a big deal out of that…"

"It is a big deal! Dei! If you can't stop by yourself, you need help!"

She stopped walking, and he did the same, turning to face her. A few neighbors looked at them curiously, but Konan ignored them.

"I don't know what to do anymore. I love you, and I want to help you. I just want you to be happy! But if you don't talk to me, about your problems, then how can I help you solve them?"

"I don't need any help Konan. Stop worrying about me," he said, "we can talk about something else…"

"I don't want to talk about something else," she snapped.

Deidara started walking again, because the people looking at them were making him uncomfortable, and Konan followed closely.

The male couldn't help but think that he'd much rather be taking a walk with Itachi instead. It had been nice…

"With my ex-boyfriends…" she started, and immediately Deidara spaced out and stopped listening.

She was just always rambling on about the same things anyway. She used to date Yahiko before, and a couple other guys. And she kept telling Deidara that even though these past relationships hadn't been perfect, at least they were communicating, and that was helping so much, and so on…

Deidara had heard it all before.

"You're not even listening to me," she accused at some point.

"I'm sorry… I'm really tired."

It wasn't even a lie. His head hurt, and his whole body felt worn out. He hadn't been sleeping well recently… Well, nothing new there, he thought sadly.

"Let's go back I'm cold," she said, shivering.

So without a word Deidara followed her back home. This time he got in with her, and after he slipped off his converse shoes he followed her to her bedroom.

She sat on her bed, and he sat in the chair in front of her.

"Dei… why do you love me?"

"I don't think I could be with any other girl," he said sincerely, "you're simple, you're funny, and we like the same things… But," he shrugged sadly, "I understand if you don't want to be with me anymore. I know I'm… cold, and distant. I know you thought I would change. And I know I haven't."

She looked at him intensely, "But can you? Maybe if you try again? Try harder…?"

"I don't know," he whispered.

"I want to give you another chance," she said.

…

Much later that night, Deidara was back at his apartment, and he woke up from a horrible dream. He picked up the scissors from his bedside table and pressed the blade to his arm. It was a reflex by now.

He calmed down for a moment, but then he relived the dream again. He couldn't escape from those images… At first the dream had been very nice. He was hanging out with Itachi, and they started kissing. It was very nice and passionate. It could have been a great dream if only it had stopped there…

But then he'd been thrown roughly to the floor, and glancing around himself he recognized the familiar locker room from his high school… When he looked up, it was no longer Itachi with him. There were five guys instead… waiting for their turn… laughing…

He started crying, hugging himself. God he hated those nightmares… Maybe he should've accepted Konan's offer to sleep with her tonight. They could've watched a movie on her bed or something, like they used to.

He used to enjoy those evenings with her. But he just couldn't do it anymore. She couldn't comfort him…

Maybe they really should've broken up, because Deidara wasn't sure if he could ever go back to being a better boyfriend for her.

Deidara wanted Itachi to comfort him. He knew it didn't make any sense, but he couldn't help his feelings…

…

On Saturday Deidara went to work, but he was like a zombie. He was very pale, and he had no energy whatsoever. He had no appetite, and he'd skipped breakfast. He kept going to the bathroom, afraid that he would throw up. His hair was a total mess; it was just shoved in a folded ponytail.

He was so cold, too. He kept on Itachi's jacket all day long even though the others thought it was weird. Well it was a little bit too big for him, but he didn't care. It comforted him.

The next day it wasn't any better. At noon, he actually threw up in the employee's bathroom. He hadn't locked the door behind him, so Sasori stepped in.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm awesome," he muttered sarcastically.

He got up to rinse his mouth.

"You should go home," Sasori replied.

"I need the money…"

"I asked you if you had money problems the other day! You said you were fine."

"I'm fine it's just… rent for October's soon, and then heat, electricity, internet… It's just… fucking expensive I don't wanna take a day off."

"Well you're not helping us anyway. You wrote the appointments all wrong in the notebook…"

"I did?" Deidara turned to look at him, "Oh God I'm sorry…"

Sasori's expression softened and he walked up to him. He brushed his messy blonde bangs aside and put his hand on his forehead. It felt cold.

"You have a fever," he said.

Deidara stepped back, uncomfortable with the sudden closeness.

"Just go home, really," the red-head insisted.

Deidara nodded slowly. He walked past Sasori, and toward the exit. The other followed him.

"Do you need me to come with you?"

"No I'll be fine," he answered.

"All right. Call me if you need anything…" Sasori said, but Deidara was already walking out the door.

…

On Sunday afternoon Itachi went to knock on his brother's bedroom door. Well actually his brother _and_ his boyfriend's bedroom.

"Just a second!" Naruto's voice said.

But it took about thirty seconds before the flustered blonde boy opened the door. He was only wearing jeans, and shirtless. Itachi glanced behind him. Sitting on the bed, Sasuke also had rather messy hair, but at least he had put his shirt back on.

"Guys," Itachi sighed, "seriously, if I was interrupting something you could've told me to come back later…"

"It's okay," Naruto shrugged.

Itachi glanced from Sasuke to Naruto, and then back at his brother. "Is fucking all you two ever do?"

"Don't ask questions you don't want the answer to," Sasuke smirked.

"Whatever…" Itachi closed the door, and then leaned on it and crossed his arms. "I wanted to ask you guys something…"

"About what?" Naruto asked.

"Relationships, actually…"

Naruto's blue eyes widened as he sat beside Sasuke on the king sized bed. Itachi felt like he was interviewing them – which wasn't far from the truth.

"Relationships? That's kinda vague," Naruto shrugged, "What do you want to know?"

"How did you guys go from being friends to… boyfriends?"

"We were never friends," Sasuke laughed.

Naruto nudged him in the ribs. "Of course we were. It's just that we were getting on each other's nerves a little…"

"And then," Sasuke continued, "we realized that it was because of all the sexual tension between us…" He said this so casually while Naruto blushed madly. Itachi chuckled.

"But you guys have a fucked up relationship I mean… You live in the same house so it's kinda different. What about your friends from school? The ones you invite over sometimes, like Kiba and Hinata, I think?"

"Oh yeah…" Naruto smiled, "Well Kiba was really in love with her, and Hinata, not so much. But he was patient, and he never gave up, you know, it was thanks to me, really! I encouraged him."

Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Why'd you do that?" Naruto frowned.

"Do what?"

"Roll your eyes like that."

"I didn't."

"Uh yeah I saw you."

Sasuke smirked, but didn't reply.

"Whatever bastard, my advice was good okay? So maybe he made a fool of himself when he bought her a puppy, and brought it to school… But eventually she fell for him, so in the end it's all good!"

"Right…" Itachi raised a brow.

He didn't think buying Deidara a puppy would make him fall for him. Besides, that wasn't the problem…

"But let's just say," Itachi said, "that the person already likes them back…"

Sasuke cut him. "Just spill already. Who is it?"

"Oh my God," Naruto's eyes widened in shock, "there's someone you like?"

Sasuke and Itachi both laughed.

"You idiot!" Sasuke exclaimed. "Why do you think he's asking those questions in the first place?"

Naruto muttered something incomprehensible.

"It's Deidara."

"He's cute," Sasuke said appreciatively.

"Hey!" Naruto exclaimed in protest.

"You're cuter," Sasuke said to shut him up. It worked.

"He kind of has a girlfriend…" Itachi said.

He went to sit on the computer chair, looking at them from across the room.

"Ah, yeah, that Konan girl," Naruto said.

"Did you like, go on dates with him?" Sasuke asked, caressing Naruto's thigh absent-mindedly.

"Yeah kind of…"

"Did he talk about her?" His brother asked.

"Not at all. And when she called him he didn't take it."

Sasuke shrugged, "Well his girlfriend's not a problem then. Besides, I saw the guy when I got my tattoo. If that guy's straight, then I like Sakura."

"He hates her," Naruto explained.

Itachi chuckled, "You guys are not really helping."

"Look," Sasuke said, "bring him to a fancy restaurant, walk him home, kiss him, and then on the next date, get him drunk, and fuck him. Happy?"

"Pff… You just want me out of here so you can fuck Naruto," Itachi said, getting up.

Naruto laughed. Sasuke shrugged helplessly. Stupid sixteen year olds with their hormones…

After that useless talk he went to see his mother. Minato wasn't there; he was doing extra hours at his company.

Mikoto was reading a book in the living room while something was cooking in the kitchen.

He sat in the sofa next to her. Mikoto was a social worker at a clinic, and she worked mostly with teenagers and young adults, so he wanted to ask her some questions.

But first they made little talk; he asked her about work, and her readings, and she asked him how things were going at school. The usual. After that he cut to the point.

"I met someone."

"Oh?" She smiled teasingly, "Am I gonna have grandchildren?"

"I don't think so mom."

"Did you think about adoption?"

"Stop mocking me."

"All right… I'm all ears."

He couldn't help but smile. His mother was great. She didn't mind that her boys were gay; on the contrary, she believed that gay people were most of the time tolerant, kind, and respectful. And that they made very good parents. She often encouraged him and Sasuke to adopt kids later in life.

"I think he has problems, although I have no idea what they are, but… I think he cuts… you know..."

He had overheard the conversation between Konan and Deidara while his brother was getting his tattoo, when she had insisted to see his arms, and he'd just refused and stormed outside. And he wasn't really subtle, always wearing arm warmers to hide them. If Itachi got closer to him – which he intended to – he wanted to know how he could help.

Immediately his mother's expression became serious. "Self-harm is dangerous. Is he seeing someone for that?"

"I don't think so."

"I doubt you would do that," his mother said carefully, "but don't ever tell him that he's stupid, or emo, or that he just wants attention. That's the mistake some young people make."

"I would never say that."

"He's probably doing that whenever certain emotions get the better of him. It can be depression, trauma, low self-esteem and hatred or disgust toward himself… I don't know I'd have to see him. The trick is to find another way to calm himself when those unwanted emotions take over… then eventually get rid of them completely."

"What can I do as a friend?" Itachi asked.

"Just listen to him. Be there for him." His mother shrugged slightly. "But professional help is sometimes necessary."

"Yeah I know," he nodded. "Well thank you for the advice."

…

Later in the evening, Itachi was taking a break from homework and was playing a war game on his laptop. He was in the middle of destroying his enemy with his alien army when his cell phone rang. It was Deidara.

"Hey, what's up?" He answered it, keeping his eyes on his computer screen.

"I'm sick…" He said in a rasp voice.

Itachi frowned, worried. Suddenly his game wasn't that important anymore.

"Are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry," he said before coughing, which didn't sound very reassuring to Itachi, "It's jut a cold, I think. I missed work today…"

"That sucks," Itachi said.

"Yeah I'm sorry I don't think I'm gonna be able to make it tomorrow…"

"Hey no problem I understand," Itachi said even though he was a little disappointed. But it wasn't his fault if he was sick. "But are you really okay?" He asked again, "Is there someone with you or…?"

"No but that's fine," he cleared his throat, but his voice still sounded rasp, "I'd rather be alone I mean this shit's probably contagious…"

Itachi waited. He didn't know what to say, but he felt like Deidara didn't want to hang up just yet. Maybe he wanted to talk to someone.

"What were you doing?" Deidara finally asked.

"Playing some PC game…"

"What game?"

"Star craft…"

"You didn't tell me you were such a geek!" Deidara chuckled.

"I did tell you I study computer engineering…"

"Good point… Hey do you think I could come to the gym with you next week instead?"

"Were you hesitating to ask me that?" Itachi asked in disbelief, "Of course you can silly."

"All right," he said, sounding reassured. "Well, sorry for ditching, but, I'll see you next week?"

"Yeah, and don't apologize. I don't think you chose to be sick."

"Definitely not." He sighed, "Such a pain in the ass…"

"I believe you. I mean I never get sick but…"

"Lucky bastard."

Itachi chuckled, "So… sure you don't need anything?"

"No it's getting late anyway. I'm gonna try to… get some sleep I guess." Now Deidara sounded sick _and_ depressed. It wasn't reassuring Itachi at all. But then he added, "Take care Itachi, see you next week."

"_You_ take care."

They hung up, and Itachi sighed, thinking that it would be a really long week…

…

On the next Monday morning, at 9:30 am, Deidara was sitting in the stairs outside his apartment, waiting for Itachi. He was clad in his usual skinny jeans and hoodie. His gym clothes were in his backpack, and he was clutching Itachi's jacket in his arms.

It had been a horrible and long week. He went to work from Wednesday to Sunday, but he just felt more tired every day. His cold wasn't so bad anymore, but it was still there. He didn't want to ditch Itachi again, though. He felt tired, but he was sure he would be okay. Besides, he really wanted to see him. Maybe they could be just friends. And maybe for the first time Deidara could have someone close to him outside of work… But he wasn't so sure if it was a good idea.

He was fumbling with the tip of his ponytail nervously when Itachi arrived. His black hair was loosely tied, and he wore his black rimmed glasses. Deidara thought he looked sexy. But who was he kidding? That guy was always sexy.

He opened the car door and sat in the passenger seat.

"Nice car," he said, "looks brand new."

"Thanks. I got it for my birthday so it's pretty much still new."

The raven smiled, shifted to first gear and started driving toward the University campus.

"Manual at that," Deidara smiled appreciatively, "I wish I knew how to drive one."

"I'll teach you if you want," Itachi glanced at him sideways.

"That'd be awesome."

Itachi stopped the car at a red light and turned to look at him. "So you're feeling better?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, "last week I was… ugh. Wasn't cool."

There was a silence, and then Deidara asked, "Don't you listen to music when you're driving?"

"No," Itachi answered.

Deidara shrugged and reached with his hand to turn on the radio. He chose a rock alternative channel.

"There, that's better."

Itachi raised a brow at him. "You really like that music?"

Deidara made a face. "Well they were better before…"

"They?"

"My Chemical romance."

"Do you know like, every single band? That's crazy," Itachi chuckled.

"You're the one who doesn't know anything," Deidara teased.

Itachi entered the university campus and drove across the parking. Deidara had never studied there, but since he lived really close he'd been taking walks around here sometimes. It would be his first time visiting the gym complex though.

They walked together, Itachi leading the way. Deidara had left Itachi's jacket in the car, and brought only his backpack. Itachi had also left most of his things on the back seat of his car, taking only his Nike sports bag. Itachi was full of contradictions. His clothes were always stylish and famous brands, but he also played geeky games, and now, he had a tattoo. But somehow, the more Deidara knew about him, the more he wanted to know.

Inside the gym complex Itachi let the receptionist know that he was bringing Deidara as a visitor. After that he led them to the locker room. A god damn locker room… didn't exactly bring back good memories. At least this one looked nothing like the crappy place from his high school. Besides, his trauma wasn't to the extent that he freaked out whenever he entered a locker room.

Itachi went to change in a separate stall, and Deidara did the same. He had brought black sweat pants and a thin blue long sleeve shirt. He hoped Itachi wouldn't ask why he was wearing a long sleeves to do sports…

As expected, Itachi was wearing Nike sports clothes.

"Matches your bag," he teased.

Itachi laughed as he looked down at his black shorts and white and black t-shirt. "My step-dad got me all this…"

"A car for your birthday, expensive clothes…" Deidara chuckled, "What does he do anyway?"

"Director of sales and marketing for a video game company…"

"Is that where you want to work later?" He inquired as Itachi led them towards the gym room, bottle of water in hand.

"Yeah," he made a little smile, "Minato – that's my step-dad – said he might get me an internship next summer."

"That's awesome! Well I guess you have a pretty good reason to be a gamer then!"

Itachi shrugged helplessly.

He pushed a door open and Deidara was surprised to see the large gym room pretty much empty.

"Monday morning," Itachi gave as an only explanation.

The smaller male chuckled, "All right so um… what do you usually do?"

"Thirty minutes muscular, and thirty minutes cardio…"

Itachi showed him the machines he used for the muscles of his arms, legs, stomach and chest. Deidara felt humiliated every time he tried them out – he wasn't nearly as strong as the raven-haired guy.

"Don't be embarrassed it's totally normal if you're not used to it," Itachi said.

They ended up doing only twenty minutes because Deidara was feeling too pathetic and just staying in a corner watching Itachi. Not that he was complaining with the view… Itachi had such a gorgeous body; he was simply the hottest guy Deidara had ever seen. And sure he was muscular, but it wasn't too much, his body was still thin. Deidara thought it was just perfect. He wished his own body would be similar, instead of being almost anorexic-like.

When they moved on to the cardio machines, Itachi decided he felt like doing bike, so Deidara imitated him. He walked long distances often, so he had a pretty good cardio. Except cycling used different muscles... After ten minutes he was starting to have trouble.

"You can choose an easier program…"

"No I'm fine," Deidara lied.

The raven chuckled. "Whatever you say…"

But after ten more minutes he had to stop. His chest was starting to tighten, this wasn't good. Deidara was asthmatic, but attacks were very rare. Why did it have to happen now of all times?

"I'll be right back…" he muttered before quickly walking toward the nearest exit.

It happened more often when he was sick. His cold was almost finished though, so he'd figured he'd be fine… Apparently not.

He sat down outside, leaning against the brick wall. His breathing was hard, producing a wheezing sound. God he hated when this happened… Hopefully it wouldn't last too long… The fresh air was making him shiver, but it was soothing and helpful at the same time.

"Hey are you okay?"

He looked up and saw that Itachi had joined him. He sat beside him and frowned.

"Are you asthmatic?"

Deidara chuckled, but it made a rather unpleasant sound.

"Doesn't happen… often," he managed to say.

Itachi looked worried. "Well do you have like, an inhaler or something?"

"No… I'll be fine… just go back in there I'll… I'll be there in like five minutes…"

Now he was even more humiliated than before. Maybe he shouldn't have come here… He clutched the tip of his sleeves in his hands and hugged his knees.

"Why don't you have medicine for that?"

"I told you… it almost never happens…"

"So what? You still need to have an inhaler just in case."

"Whatever… Just go back I'll…"

"I'm staying," Itachi said firmly, shifting to sit closer to him.

Thankfully, it only lasted a few more minutes. Still, Deidara felt humiliated and depressed.

"Don't make that face," Itachi eventually said, "It's nothing to be embarrassed about. You just need to see a doctor and get a prescription for that."

"I don't like going to the ER…" he muttered as he got up.

Itachi did likewise, and sighed, "Jeez you're such a child." He put his hand on his back briefly. "Come on let's go get changed."

Even though Itachi's touch had been quick and innocent, it still sent a tingling feeling through Deidara's spine.

They both took a shower, again in separate stalls, and got dressed.

"Your hair is so long," Itachi said, apparently fascinated.

Deidara shrugged as he tied it up loosely. "Yeah but it can get annoying…"

When it was down his hair almost reached his lower back. He was considering getting it cut. But if Itachi liked it, maybe he would change his mind…

"Sorry, by the way…" Deidara said, glancing down.

"Stop apologizing for things that you can't even control," Itachi protested as he picked up his bag. "Come on let's go… I'm gonna treat you to lunch to cheer you up."

"No… really, it's fine…" Deidara muttered, feeling embarrassed.

They started walking, and continued arguing.

"Don't be like that… I just want to spend time with you. Is that so bad?"

Deidara's heart warmed up at those words, but he was still hesitating. Was it such a good idea to be spending time together? What if Itachi wanted to be more than just friends? Deidara couldn't even give him that…

"Don't you have classes?" He asked as they walked towards the parking.

"This afternoon," Itachi shrugged. "If we don't go too far I should be fine. There's a sushi place down this street if I'm not mistaken?"

Deidara sighed, resigned. He really wanted to go but he was scared at the same time.

"Yeah…"

"Well, do you like sushi at least?" Itachi asked before opening his car door.

Deidara chuckled, "It's my favorite food actually…"

"Me too."

He took place in the passenger seat, and Itachi started driving. Deidara put on the same radio channel as before and looked out the window, lost in his thoughts. He felt so confused. He knew for sure he could never be with a guy. But then, why did he feel so attracted to Itachi, and why did it feel so right?


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

The restaurant wasn't too crowded. Itachi checked his watch as they took place at a table by the window. He still had two hours before his afternoon class started.

"Can I see?" Deidara suddenly asked him.

Itachi realized he was talking about his watch. "Sure."

He took it off and handed it to the blonde. It was a silver Rolex watch with a black center.

"Wow, it's really nice!" Deidara said before giving it back. "Another gift from your step-dad or…?"

"No, actually, this belonged to my father. When he died, my mother wanted me to have it."

Deidara made a sad smile, but didn't comment. On a silent agreement they started looking at the menu, and selecting the sushi they wanted. Eventually the waitress came to pick up their order.

"So," Deidara said after taking a sip of water, "you live with your mother, your step-father, and your brother?"

Itachi laughed.

"What?" Deidara tilted his head to the side.

"My family's fucked up. My step-father is actually Naruto's dad."

"What?" The blond frowned, confused, "So you're telling me, Naruto lives with you, too?"

"Yes."

"And he's… your brother's… boyfriend?"

"Yes," Itachi chuckled at Deidara's confused expression.

"I understand why you said fucked up now. But… I mean your parents are so cool to be okay with that, I guess."

"Yeah, they're great," Itachi smiled.

There was another silence after that, and then their first serving arrived. Itachi couldn't help but think, he was getting so attached to this guy. He had been so worried before, when he'd had an asthma attack…

He knew Deidara wouldn't like it, but he decided to bring it up again.

"I was serious when I said you should get a prescription for an inhaler you know."

As expected, Deidara glared at him.

"Look," he said softly, "my mother works at a clinic. I'll see if she can get you an appointment, so you don't have to go to ER, all right?"

"You'd do that for me?" He asked, blue eyes wide as he looked at him.

"Yeah it's no big deal," he brushed it off. He was only glad Deidara hadn't declined right away.

Itachi decided to drop the subject again. For now. He would really ask Mikoto later though.

"Tell me about your family?" He asked instead.

Deidara glanced away and replaced some blonde strands behind his ear nervously. Itachi regretted his question. Maybe it was too private or a touchy subject…

"Well it's just… my father but… haven't seen him in a while," he muttered.

Itachi waited to see if he would say more, but he didn't.

After they had finished their meal, Itachi paid, and they drove back to Deidara's apartment building. When he parked Deidara started fumbling with his hair nervously. He tended to do that a lot. But Itachi didn't find it cute anymore; he wished Deidara would relax, if only a little. It wasn't healthy to be always so stressed out.

So on a whim Itachi leaned closer and wrapped his arms around the smaller guy.

Deidara tensed a lot, and for a moment Itachi was certain he would push him away, but he didn't. Itachi slowly moved one of his hands to the back of his neck, caressing his hair softly, and his other hand placed firmly in the middle of his back. Deidara held him back a little awkwardly, as if he really wasn't used to hug someone. But then he finally relaxed, and he buried his face in the crook of Itachi's neck, his arms tightening his hold around him. Itachi felt good as he breathed in the sweet scent of his hair.

He felt like Deidara was just so vulnerable, and he wanted to protect him. He wanted to hold him forever, to never let go.

But then the moment was over and they pulled away. Immediately Deidara looked nervous again, and this made Itachi sad.

"I'll call you soon to tell you when you can go to the clinic, okay?" He told him.

Deidara nodded slightly.

"If I don't have class I'll go with you. Either way, I'll see you soon all right?"

"…Okay." He finally replied.

Itachi smiled as he watched Deidara step out of the black car and walk away. He would have preferred a more enthusiastic reply, but it would do. He felt like he had to be patient with this guy. But strangely he didn't mind.

…

It was just a stupid hug, yet Deidara couldn't stop thinking about it. It had felt so good, so comforting, so warm and perfect. Which was exactly why he couldn't see Itachi again. Friends didn't hug like that…

It had been two weeks now. Itachi had texted him, and called him a couple of times to know if he wanted to do something. Deidara hadn't answered his phone. Except one time, he had texted him back to thank him for the appointment at the clinic. He went alone because Itachi had classes. He hadn't seen his mother either, only his appointed doctor. He had his prescription and all, but it was a little expensive and he didn't have any insurance so he hadn't bought it yet. He was so sick and tired of being poor… maybe when he became a real tattoo artist he'd make more money, at least.

He was in his room, getting ready to go see Konan. She had invited him to the restaurant, saying that it was important and that they "needed to talk." Yeah, she would probably break up…

This made him a little depressed, but it wasn't exactly a big shock.

But later, at the little thai fast food where she brought him, he was surprised. Sure, she was breaking up with him, but not for the reasons he had expected.

"Answer me, and don't lie to me. Are you gay?"

He felt like disappearing from the world; he was so embarrassed.

"I've never been with a guy." He averted his eyes.

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Well if I've never been with one, how could I know…?"

"Don't play dumb with me. There are some things you just know."

"I don't want to be," he said.

She face palmed. "Deidara that's the lamest thing I've ever heard. You shouldn't lie about that kinda stuff… You shouldn't… lie to a girl for six months pretending you're straight and in love with her…" She finished, her voice breaking.

Now he felt like total shit.

"I'm sorry," he said lamely, "I really wanted to make it work."

"Just don't…" she said, wiping her tears.

What could he possibly say after that? He just stayed silent, waiting, and ready to listen if she had something more to say.

But all she added was, "It's over."

…

Itachi was really pissed off. Oh, everything was going great in his life – his grades were remarkable as always, and his family was as crazy, but great, as ever – except one thing of course. He wanted Deidara. And it seemed he couldn't have him.

He kept turning him down, and making up excuses. But the most frustrating was that Deidara wanted to see him again just as much as he did! He knew it. It was so obvious, and Deidara was such a bad liar. Was he trying to play difficult? Nah, somehow Itachi just knew this wasn't the case, and that there was more to it.

Never give up, huh, Naruto? He smiled at the thought of the crazy sixteen year old blonde. But he did want to try again. For some reason he really liked that effeminate guy…

So Itachi let himself fall back on his neatly made king sized bed, and dialed Deidara's number.

"Hey…"

"Hey you actually answered! You sound really fucking depressed, what's going on?"

"Nothing…"

"Yeah right. Come on just tell me. Now that you've answered your phone the next step is talking."

Deidara chuckled.

"Did I make you smile?"

"…Yeah."

"I'd really like to see your smile in person."

"Itachi…"

"What?"

"I don't know if it's a good idea…"

"I didn't even suggest anything yet."

"I know, but you were going to."

"So what? Come on, you're gonna tell me you're too busy watching videos on youtube, or editing your stories no one's reading again?"

"…"

"Tell you what. I have the house to myself tonight, cause apparently it's Halloween, and my brother and Naruto are gone to some party with their friends from school, even my parents went to a party with friends from my mom's work, and they kept brainwashing me about how lame and boring I was not to do anything. So, I'm sure you see where this is going?"

Deidara laughed. "Yeah I'm not doing anything either. Konan organized a party but hum, I don't think I'm invited…"

"Why?"

"…We broke up."

"She did or you did?"

"It was more of a mutual decision…"

"She did then. Well you can come over to my place, we'll watch movies, and you can eat ice cream or whatever..."

"…"

"Actually beer sounds better, doesn't it?"

Deidara chuckled, but still didn't reply.

"I'm taking your silence as a yes," Itachi said.

"No…"

"Too late. I'll be at your place in fifteen minutes."

And he hung up before Deidara could protest. He picked up his keys, and went downstairs. He slipped in his shoes, stepped outside, locked the door, and finally walked up to his car.

Fifteen minutes later, sharp, he was parking in front of Deidara's apartment building. And the blonde was waiting for him outside in the stairs. So maybe he wasn't so reluctant after all.

"Hey," he said shyly as he opened the door and sat.

Itachi took a moment just to look at how beautiful he was. He hadn't seen him in weeks after all. And when gorgeous, big blue eyes looked back at him suddenly all of his efforts seemed totally worth it.

But he was still a little pissed. He replaced his glasses and started driving without a word.

"I guess…" Deidara hesitated, glancing out the window, "I should tell you that I'm sorry…"

Itachi let out a quiet sigh. "What if, instead of being sorry all the time, you actually explained?"

"I can't," Deidara said stubbornly.

"Why?"

The blond glanced at him sideways, looking confused and troubled.

"I'm not used to the whole… having friends thing," Deidara finally said.

Itachi suspected that this had nothing to do with his question, and that Deidara just wanted to change the subject subtly, but he decided to play along anyway.

"Well that makes two of us."

"Really?" He exclaimed, shocked.

"Yeah, why are you so surprised?"

"Well…" Deidara said, "You've got it all. The grades, the money, the looks, and you're athletic… You must have been pretty popular especially in high school no?"

Itachi smiled when Deidara said "the looks" but he simply answered his question.

"I was, but I hated it when people wanted to be friends just cause of those reasons… So I chose to be alone."

"I guess I can understand," Deidara nodded, "I mean I was a loner too, for different reasons, but still…"

Itachi chose not to question him further. All in good time…

So the rest of the drive was silent, except for the radio which Deidara turned on of course.

"You live like, two blocks away from Konan's house…" Deidara said, and then admired the house, impressed, "but yours is even bigger!"

They got out of the car, and Deidara stopped to look at the other cars.

"Why so many?"

With Itachi's black Honda accord, there were currently three vehicles in the entryway. And Minato's car wasn't even there since he was at a party with Mikoto.

"This one's my mother's car," he pointed at the silver Nissan maxima, "and this one's probably gonna be shared by Sasuke and Naruto when they get their license," he finished, pointing at the blue Toyota Eco.

"What's your step-father driving?" Deidara asked as they walked towards the door.

Itachi laughed, "A corvette…"

"Wow, he wants to remind everyone that he's alpha male doesn't he?"

"Yup. And he won't let me drive it."

"Oh well... at least you _have_ a car."

He had a point. Itachi let them in, and then he gave him a tour of the house.

"Kitchen, dining room, living room, and… this is a guest room," he said as he showed him.

"It's really nicely decorated," Deidara smiled.

"Keep that line for my mother. You'll win her heart right away." He said, making Deidara laugh.

They went upstairs. "Master bedroom, Naruto and Sasuke's room…"

"Wait, wait, wait… they actually share a bedroom?"

"Yeah…"

"That's so weird!"

"I know." He moved on to another guest room, and finally, his own bedroom.

Deidara took his time to look around. He seemed really impressed, and Itachi was certain that his first comment would be about the fact that he had his own flat screen television in his room, with an Xbox 360 and a Playstation 3, but actually he was very wrong.

"It's so clean!" He exclaimed, glancing at Itachi, "How do you do it?"

"I… clean up?" Itachi chuckled, "I don't know…"

"I'll never show you my apartment that's for sure."

"I'm sure it's not that bad," Itachi said teasingly.

"Believe me, it is."

"All right come on, we'll use the living room it's more comfortable to watch movies and we have the house to ourselves anyway…"

He picked up some of his collection of horror movies and brought them downstairs. Deidara followed him, eyeing the movies suspiciously.

"What do you wanna watch?"

"Well…" Itachi went to put the movies down on the living room table. "Which ones have you already seen?"

Deidara looked at the movie covers and frowned. "None of them…"

"Really?" Itachi raised a brow. "What horror movies have you seen? You've seen a couple at least, no?"

Deidara made a face. "Do Zombieland and Shawn of the dead count?"

"Oh my God…" Itachi laughed. "Okay, I think we should watch Saw."

"I think I've heard of it…"

"I hope so."

"Isn't it the really creepy and disgusting one?"

"There are six of them, actually."

Deidara sat on the couch. "Don't tell me you want to watch them all tonight?"

"No," Itachi shrugged, "maybe just three or four."

The blond looked frightened even though they hadn't even started yet.

Itachi installed it in the dvd player, but before starting it he went to the kitchen.

"Do you want a beer?"

"Uh… no I don't drink."

But Itachi brought two beers anyway.

"If you change your mind," he smiled as he put them on the low table.

"I just told you, I don't drink. I don't even know what beer tastes like."

Itachi just shrugged and opened both beer caps.

"There's a first time to everything. Cheers," he said teasingly.

Deidara smiled and shook his head slightly, but then he brought it to his lips to taste it. On the meantime Itachi started the movie.

"Tastes weird…" Deidara muttered, making Itachi laugh.

Then they went quiet as the movie started. After a few minutes Itachi decided to create an ever better atmosphere by flicking off all the lights.

They were sitting on each end of the couch as they watched the movie and drank their beer quietly. Itachi had already seen it obviously, so he was observing Deidara's reactions. He was the cutest thing, really. He was frowning slightly as he watched intently, his legs folded under him. Itachi noticed he looked like he was a bit cold. He would have loved to warm him up himself but it might have been awkward, so he just gave him a blanket.

"I'm fine," Deidara said, putting it on the couch beside him.

"All right," Itachi chuckled.

Five minutes later Deidara grabbed the blanket and wrapped it around his body. He also used it to hide his eyes once in a while.

"Oh come on you have to watch everything!" Itachi mocked.

"It's fucking gross!" Deidara said.

He only drank half of his beer, and left the rest untouched. As for Itachi, he went to get himself another one.

When he came back to the living room, Deidara looked so tensed… It was just too tempting… Itachi quietly sneaked up behind him, and suddenly grabbed his neck with his cold hand previously holding the beer. Deidara let out a strangled gasp and turned around on the couch, almost falling on the floor, eyes wide in a mix of fear and anger as he looked at him.

"Fuck you!"

Itachi was laughing.

"It's not funny!" Deidara exclaimed angrily. "You scared me…"

"Yeah," he said, still laughing, "that was kinda the point."

"Bastard…"

After the first movie, and despite Deidara's protests, Itachi put on the second one.

He didn't know if Deidara was doing this on purpose or unconsciously, but by the way he was constantly nervously shifting on the couch, he was slowly moving towards Itachi. His eyes were focused on the screen though, when they weren't squeezed shut or hidden by the blanket, that is. Itachi liked watching his reactions. He also made little comments sometimes, but it was mostly cursing, "Fuck… Holy shit," and so on.

When they started watching the third movie, though, Itachi could tell that Deidara was really tired. He wasn't watching so intently anymore. And expectedly, a few minutes later, he started blinking, his eyes sometimes staying closed for a few minutes.

After a while Itachi shifted slightly closer with perfect timing, and Deidara's head found a pillow in his shoulder. He must have been really tired, Itachi thought, amused, because that was some fucked up movie to fall asleep on…

Itachi could have turned off the television and woke Deidara up, but he didn't feel like it just yet. Instead he reached with his hand to caress Deidara's hair. He took off the already loose hair tie carefully, and then he ran his fingers through the thick, soft blonde locks. Then he risked a soft caress on his cheek. No reaction. And actually, when Itachi continued brushing his fingers against his soft skin, Deidara leaned in the touch a little. Adorable.

But his parents chose this moment to arrive. Damn it. Deidara didn't even wake up when the door opened and the lights were switched on.

Itachi glanced behind his shoulder at Mikoto and Minato.

"I'd introduce you but…" He motioned at the sleeping blonde.

His mother squealed. "This is adorable! I'm gonna go get the camera."

Minato laughed lightly. "Hey this is the first time you invite a friend over, no? 21 years old, it was about time…" he mocked.

"Try to make fun of me again when you're not dressed like Harry Potter, Minato."

For their stupid "adults" Halloween party Minato had indeed dressed like a wizard, and Mikoto had dressed like some sort of vampire, Itachi wasn't really sure. Something with a cape, anyway.

"Hey for your information everyone liked my costume at the party."

When Mikoto appeared with camera in hand Itachi decided it was time to wake Deidara up.

"Hey, Deidara…" he whispered in his ear, shaking him slightly.

The blonde opened blurry blue eyes. At the same time Minato finally noticed what movie they were watching, and burst out laughing.

"You fell asleep watching _that_?"

"Ew," his mother frowned, "turn it off Itachi…"

He did as he was told, and glanced back at Deidara. His cheeks had gone from their usual peachy complexion to a much darker pink tint.

"Hey don't be shy okay?" Itachi told him.

Itachi supposed he had to do more proper introductions…

"Deidara, this is my mother, Mikoto, and my step-father, Minato."

"Nice to meet you," Minato smiled.

"I didn't even get to take a picture of you sleeping on Itachi's shoulder!" Mikoto said, disappointed.

Deidara looked horrified. But then he composed himself, and glanced at Minato.

"Naruto looks so much like you, it's crazy," he made a little smile.

"I know," he chuckled, "I know. But hey, how come you know my son?"

"Oh Deidara works at the piercing and tattoo store Naruto goes to, so…" Itachi informed.

Mikoto frowned, clearly disapproving.

"The decoration," Deidara said nervously, "is very beautiful. I like your plants…"

Mikoto's frown was replaced with a pleased smile, "Oh thank you so much!"

"Anyway, 1 am already… we're off to bed," Minato said, wrapping his arm around her waist as they told them good night and climbed up the stairs.

Itachi smiled at Deidara. "Good comeback with the decoration."

"Thanks," he laughed, then lowered his voice, "So I take it your mother doesn't know you have a tattoo?"

"No… I'll tell her eventually," he shrugged, "So it's pretty late um… do you want to sleep here tonight?"

Deidara checked his cell even though Minato had already mentioned the time before. "Ah shit... yeah I missed the last train…"

"I just told you, you can stay here tonight. I've had some beers and I'm a little tired myself, so I'd rather not drive…"

"Sure I understand it's just… I didn't bring anything and I don't know…"

"Tell you what," Itachi said, "I have class early so I'll bring you back home at the same time. It's on my way."

"All right," Deidara nodded, but he looked uncomfortable.

"You'll sleep in one of the guest rooms, of course." Itachi said to reassure him, even though he would have loved to sleep in the same bed as the sexy blonde.

"Okay," he gave another slight nod. "Hey why is my hair…" He suddenly realized it was all down.

"Oh, here," Itachi gave him the tie back.

"Thanks," he said as he pulled his hair up again. "Why did you…?" He blushed slightly.

"I just wanted to play with your hair," he admitted.

"Why?" Deidara chuckled.

"I don't know I felt like it… It's so long…"

"Yeah I wanted to cut it…"

"Well you shouldn't," Itachi replied.

Deidara smiled, and this pleased Itachi. Finally, a positive expression on that cute face…

"So," Itachi said, standing, "do you want to sleep in the guest room next to mine? That way, if you make nightmares about those movies I won't be far and you can come to me for comfort," he teased.

Deidara rolled his eyes, but followed him upstairs anyway.

"I'm sure you would love it," he finally replied sarcastically, "if I woke you up at 3, or 4 in the morning just because of a nightmare…"

"I wouldn't mind," he said half-teasing.

"I think I'll be fine I'm not five years old," he said.

They stood in between the two doors, looking at each other. When they finally spoke, it was exactly at the same time.

"Good night then…" Itachi said.

"I wanted to thank you…" Deidara started.

"Yeah?" Itachi encouraged him.

"Well, for inviting me," he glanced down at his feet, "It was really nice. Sorry for falling asleep though."

"I told you to stop apologizing for things you can't even control."

"Fine, I don't apologize!" Deidara chuckled.

"Good."

"… Good night Itachi."

"Night…"

They parted to go in their separate rooms. Itachi found the thought of Deidara sleeping in the room right next to his rather distracting. At some point he almost got up just to go see him, but he controlled himself. He finally drifted into sleep. At least he'd get to see him a little more in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The next morning Itachi did his usual ritual of showering and preparing his stuff for school. Before going downstairs to eat breakfast with his family, he decided to wake Deidara. He pushed the door open softly, and walked over to the side of the bed.

Deidara was curled up on his side, the sheets reaching his hips, and revealing that he was only wearing his black boxer briefs. The rest of his clothes were tossed in a pile on the floor. His hair was all loose and messy, sprawled on the dark sheets. He was even more beautiful shirtless than Itachi could have imagined. He had already seen the tattoo of the word "metal" in gothic letters, but what he hadn't known was that Deidara also had a nipple piercing on the left side. Itachi decided it looked hot.

What troubled him were Deidara's arms, of course. This was definitely worst than what he had imagined. He frowned as he looked more closely at his bare arms. The insides were covered with cuts, literally. There wasn't much sane skin left there… At that moment, Itachi decided he would get him to stop, no matter what.

But now wasn't a good time. So he grabbed the sheets and pulled them all the way up to Deidara's shoulders, his fingers brushing his soft skin in the process. After that he shook him softly to wake him up, and pulled away. Sleepy blue eyes opened and immediately glanced around in confusion. But then his eyes met Itachi's and he seemed to remember where he was.

"Hey," he whispered in a sleepy voice.

"Hey, did you sleep well?"

"Yeah," he answered, and then frowned slightly, as if he was surprised, "Yeah actually I did…"

"What," Itachi said teasingly, "shocked you didn't make any nightmares after all?"

But Deidara was serious as he answered. "I guess, yeah, you could say that."

"Okay, um, cool." He chuckled, "I guess I'll let you get dressed."

He walked out of the room, closing the door behind him. He definitely needed to get Deidara to open up more.

When Deidara was ready they made their way downstairs, and to the dining room. Sasuke and Naruto looked like zombies as they ate their cereals. Minato was sitting at the table, but he was twisting his body to be able to watch the news on the television in the other room as he drank his coffee. Mikoto was eating some kind of mixture of cereals, yogurt and fruits.

"Good morning," she smiled when she saw them.

"Hey," Itachi smiled back.

"Deidara! What are you doing here?" Naruto asked, his face suddenly looking a little less like a zombie.

Deidara scratched his hair nervously. "Well…"

But Sasuke answered for him, actually. "Don't ask stupid questions Naruto, he's here cause my brother invited him obviously."

"Shut up bastard…" Naruto said tiredly.

Clearly he didn't have enough energy to argue properly.

"What time did you two get back home, anyway?" Itachi asked.

"Like 3 am…" Sasuke sighed.

"Oh, wow, on a school night, really," Mikoto shook her head in disbelief.

"What do you wanna eat?" Itachi turned to ask Deidara.

"I don't know…"

Itachi went to the kitchen and the blonde followed him, hands in his pockets, looking uncomfortable. Again, damn it…

Suddenly Itachi turned around and grabbed his wrists, pulling his hands out of his pockets.

"Stop being so nervous all the time."

"I'm not nervous," Deidara muttered, stepping back.

"Yes you are."

"No I'm not," he insisted, putting his hands back in his pockets and looking down.

"You're not helping your case right now," Itachi said. "You know what? Next time I see you, and that will be soon, I swear, I won't let you ignore me for weeks like last time, anyway, next time I'll give you a massage. It's decided."

"What?" Deidara laughed, surprised.

"You heard me. Anyway… do you want some coffee?"

"Uh… sure."

Minato always made more coffee than necessary, even though he was the only one who drank it. Well for once it was useful. He poured it in a mug and gave it to Deidara.

"There's milk, cream or sugar if you want…"

"No it's fine just like that," Deidara shrugged.

"All right…"

He opened the fridge and the cupboard, but nothing really appealed to him. Glancing back at the dining table he saw that Sasuke had finished his favorite cereals. Childish thought, really – which is why he didn't share it with Deidara.

"I think I'll just buy something to eat at the cafeteria later…" He said instead.

Mikoto walked across the kitchen to rinse her bowl and put it in the dishwasher, smiling at them.

"You know Deidara, I'm so glad Itachi finally made a friend…"

Itachi face palmed. "Mom please. I'm not twelve."

Deidara laughed lightly. Well at least it was good to see him smile like that, even if it was at his expanse.

"It's true!" She continued, crossing her arms and leaning back onto the kitchen counter. "You were always so lonely… Friends are very important. Even Sasuke has some friends!"

"They're Naruto's friends," Itachi corrected, "And he thinks they're all idiots."

At the same instant Sasuke walked in the kitchen, saying, "That's because they _are_ all idiots."

"See?" Itachi looked at his mother.

She shook her head in disbelief, "You boys are so antisocial... Just like your father was…" She sighed, and then brushed it off. "Anyway, I have to go to work, and you guys have to go to school! Do keep up your good grades, will you?"

Everyone left at pretty much the same time after that, Naruto and Sasuke by foot to meet up with some friends who lived down the street, and take the bus to school together, Minato and Mikoto in their respective cars, and finally, Itachi and Deidara in the black Honda accord.

"Your family's awesome," Deidara smiled at him.

"It's a little dysfunctional sometimes."

"I'm not an expert but, compared to my family, if you can call it a family, and to Konan's, your family really is great."

"Thanks I guess."

As usual, Deidara turned on the radio, but he lowered the volume a little so they could talk.

"How was he…your father?" Deidara looked at his wrist, more precisely his watch, Itachi supposed.

"He died when I was six, actually," he shrugged, eyes looking at the road.

"How?"

"He was on a business trip and… his plane crashed. I'm a little um… nervous, because of that, every time my parents or the whole family take the plane… I mean I know it's silly, plane crashes are very rare but, I guess I can't help it."

"Yeah that's not your fault," Deidara said softly, "It's totally normal. And, well, do you remember him a little?"

"From what I remember, he was very strict. Growing up with him would've definitely been different than with just my mother, and later with Minato. But there were moments when he showed me that he was proud of me. They were rare but, all the more precious, you know?"

Deidara nodded, smiling sadly.

"What about your father?" The raven asked, "You said you haven't seen him in a while… why is that?"

He glanced out the window, and then he brushed his bangs behind his ears in annoyance.

"He wasn't… uh…" He started fumbling with his ear piercings nervously, "He wasn't a really good father, actually." He squeezed his eyes shut, seemingly trying to calm himself. Then he opened them and glanced back at Itachi. "I'm sorry, it's just that, I never talk about him."

"More like," Itachi replied softly, "you never talk about anything, to anyone, am I right?"

"…Yeah," he admitted.

"You can talk to me." Itachi said simply. When Deidara didn't reply, he added, "Another time. We'll add it to the list. I'll teach you how to drive a manual, and also I'll give you a massage, and then we'll talk."

Deidara smiled as he glanced at him sideways. When Itachi stopped his car in front of his apartment, he looked back at him questioningly.

"What is it?"

The younger male shook his head slightly, a smile lingering on his lips. "How come a guy like you is single?"

He glanced away, chuckled, and looked back at the blonde. "Well… believe it or not, it's by choice."

"I believe you. You could have anyone, Itachi," he said sincerely.

"Well, I happen to not want just anyone, Deidara."

At those words the teen frowned, and he was about to open the car door to leave, when Itachi touched his arm softly.

"Wait. Promise me, when I call you, you'll answer?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "I will."

"Good. Cause if you don't I'll just drive here. You're screwed," he shrugged, "I know where you live."

He laughed lightly. "Bye, see you soon then."

"Take care of yourself!" He said, and then watched him walk away.

…

Five days later, on Tuesday morning, Deidara frowned when he was woken up by his cell phone vibrating loudly on his bedside table. He didn't want to wake up… He was still so tired. Work had been rough that week, and he wanted to make the most of his two days off – as in sleeping. Konan was constantly giving him shit. She was frustrated by how their relationship had ended, and not only was she giving him shit at work, but also she kept calling him…

Not only that, but also, Sasori had started flirting with him quite intensely. It was getting on his nerves. So, certain that it was either one of them calling him, he didn't answer. He rolled around in his small bed and tried to find sleep again. But only a few seconds after his cell had stopped vibrating, his blue eyes snapped open, and he turned around again. He picked up his cell and checked his missed calls. What if it was Itachi?

It was him.

Wasn't he at school?

Deidara called him back immediately.

"Hi," Itachi's low, sexy voice said. "Felt guilty for not respecting your promise?"

"I'm sorry, you woke me up, and I thought it was the other two annoying idiots…"

"Two annoying idiots?"

"Never mind. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," he laughed, "you really apologize too much. You called back so…"

"But don't you have a class this morning?"

"Yeah but I'm in my break right now, and my afternoon class is cancelled, actually. Well I decided it was cancelled."

"You're gonna skip?" Deidara laughed. "Your mother wouldn't be too happy about that."

"But she doesn't know. Besides, it's a review class before the exam, and I don't need it. I'm more skilled than the teacher in that class."

"Well aren't you modest?" Deidara teased.

"Very. So what are you doing for your day off?"

"Well…" He hesitated.

"What, you're trying to find a lame excuse again? You have drawings to do for inexistent customers? Stories to write for inexistent readers?"

"Now you're just being mean." Deidara said, but he wasn't angry. He knew Itachi wanted him to actually have his own customers at the store, and to read his stories.

"Let me make it up to you then. How about spending the day with me? I'll treat you to dinner."

"You don't have to. I'm not _that_ poor…"

"I'll think about it. So my class ends at noon. Can I meet you at your apartment?"

"Yeah sure I'll meet you outside."

"You really don't want me to see your apartment, do you?"

"No."

Itachi chuckled in the phone, "Whatever I have to go back. See ya later."

"Yeah, have fun in class."

After they hung up Deidara forced himself out of bed. He took a long shower, and then returned to his terribly messy bedroom to choose his clothes. He picked up blue skinny jeans and a Metallica t-shirt, with that he wore his grey converse, a silver spiked belt, black arm warmers and his small black hoodie. He brushed his hair quickly, and lazily pulled it back in a folded ponytail.

He almost jumped when his cell phone started vibrating again. He hurried to answer it, thinking that it was probably Itachi again.

It was Sasori. Damn it.

"You finally answered your cell!" Sasori exclaimed.

Unfortunately, Deidara thought.

"Yeah sorry hum, yesterday I was sleeping like, the whole day…"

It wasn't even a lie…

"It's okay, I forgive you. But I wanted to know, do you wanna do something tonight? We could go see a movie... or something."

"I'm sorry I can't today…"

"Why not?"

"I just can't."

"Hum… okay. What about tomorrow, after work?" Sasori asked.

"I don't think so…"

He needed to find a way to hang up…

"Jeez Deidara you never want to do anything!"

"I know, I'm sorry… I'm just boring and antisocial."

Deal with it, he mentally added, but didn't say it.

"But here's something you just gotta come to," Sasori continued, "On Saturday we decided to go out at the usual club, the whole gang's going, even Yahiko. And Konan doesn't mind if you tag along. She said she'd be polite. Anyway, you'll be there right? You told me you loved the music they play on Saturday nights."

"Yeah sure I'll go."

If the whole gang was there, at least he wouldn't be alone with Sasori. Maybe he could even invite Itachi…

"I knew it," Sasori chuckled. "So what are you doing today?"

"Nothing hum… I don't know but I'm sorry I gotta go… I'm out of minutes with my cell. Sorry. I'll see you tomorrow, bye."

He hung up. Finally…

While waiting for Itachi, he applied some black eyeliner, looking at his face in the bathroom mirror until he was satisfied. And then he randomly decided to put on some black nail polish, too. So what if he looked gay and emo? If Itachi didn't like it, he would've stopped seeing him a while ago.

When he was finished he checked the time; 11:55. He picked up his keys, wallet and cell phone, shoved it all in his hoodie pockets, and went to wait for Itachi outside as usual.

But then he had an idea, and he returned inside to pick up his IPod as well. Radio just sucked sometimes, and maybe Itachi wouldn't mind if they listened to his music in the car.

After that he only had to wait five minutes before Itachi parked right in front of him in the street.

"You wanna go shopping?" Itachi asked as soon as he was seated.

"Uh, no, why?" He said just to tease him. He didn't mind, really… as long as he got to spend time with the sexy raven.

"I decided we're going anyway."

"Okay…" He chuckled. Apparently he didn't have a say in this.

Itachi started driving. "I wanna teach you how to drive manual but, I'd rather do it late at night, when the streets are empty, you know? So for this afternoon I thought, why not go shopping downtown? I need a few things, anyway…"

Deidara shrugged and put on his music, and as he expected Itachi had no objection.

The twenty minutes drive was spent mostly with Deidara commenting on his favorite bands and songs, and Itachi seemed interested. If he really didn't like it, Deidara just changed songs. With the impressive amount of music in his IPod, he could easily find something they both liked.

Itachi chose the biggest mall in town. At first they just walked around, not really stopping anywhere. The place was huge; Deidara was looking everywhere, since he hadn't been here in a while. He stopped when they walked in front of a medieval store. He just loved going in those kinds of stores. Not that it would be his style to buy clothes like that, but he still found it cool.

"Do you wanna go in there?" Itachi asked, amused.

"Yeah," he smiled.

They looked at the clothes briefly, then moved further in the store to check out the accessories – swords, decorations, and some jewellery, too. Deidara liked the metallic chain necklaces, with skulls, or sword pendants, but they were expensive and he didn't want to spend so much for a necklace.

"I bought a sword like that for Sasuke's birthday last year," Itachi suddenly said, pointing his hand towards the most expensive katana on the wall.

"Ah, yeah, I saw it in his room when you showed me around," Deidara nodded.

"And I also have," Itachi continued, "one of those…" He pointed at the fancy medieval outfits, the ones used for theme weddings, Deidara supposed.

"Did you ever wear it?" He asked, curious.

Itachi made a little smile. "Yeah, for prom."

"Really?"

"Yeah, my class decided to do a special theme."

"Did you go with a girl?" Deidara asked as he looked at the clothes and touched the soft fabric.

"Yeah."

"Was she your girlfriend?"

"No. She wanted to go with me because I was popular," he shrugged, "I agreed mostly for appearances. My mom was happy, you know, she got her cliché pictures…"

Deidara nodded slowly, and returned to the stand with the necklaces.

"Do you want one?" Itachi asked.

"No."

"You keep looking at them."

The sales woman chose this moment to come talk to them, all smiles, and embarrassing Deidara further.

"Would you like to try one on?"

Deidara was about to decline, but Itachi said, "Yeah, sure, this one."

He pointed at the one with a sword pendant with a tiny light blue gem at the hilt. The young woman nodded and gave it to him, but Itachi placed himself behind Deidara to tie it around his neck. Deidara blushed. And it felt so good when Itachi brushed his hand against his neck to place his hair over his shoulder.

"Do you like it?" Itachi asked him, turning him towards the mirror.

"Yeah, but…"

"We'll take it," Itachi told the young woman.

He kept it around his neck while Itachi paid. When they walked out of the store he was still blushing madly.

"Why'd you buy it?"

"Cause I felt like it," Itachi replied casually.

"Thank you…" He said shyly. "But since you bought me this you don't have to treat me to dinner. I'll pay for myself at least."

"We'll see…"

"Itachi!" he whined.

The raven gave him an innocent look, "What?"

He didn't reply. After that Itachi went to a sports store, looking out at some of the new stock, mostly shoes and accessories. But he didn't even buy anything; it seemed he'd really just wanted to take a quick look.

After that Deidara's eyes landed on the music store, and he immediately started walking in its direction, attracted to it like a magnet. Itachi laughed, unsurprised.

Much like Itachi had done in the sports store, Deidara just looked at the new record releases – metal section of course – without the intention of buying anything. Well sometimes he felt old school, and liked to buy records of his favorite bands, but most of the time he downloaded his music. This time it was Itachi's turn to pretty much just follow him around.

Next they went to a pretty cool clothing store – in Deidara's opinion anyway. They had so many great band t-shirts, punk-ish clothes for teenagers and random fun accessories. He set his eyes on a belt with piano notes all around it. He just picked it up to look at it, and immediately Itachi was beside him.

"You like it?"

"Yeah it's pretty cool," the blonde smiled.

Playfully Itachi stole it from him and went at the cash counter.

"Itachi! Stop it…" Deidara whined as he followed him. "It's too expensive..."

But the girl behind the cash register was already doing the transaction. Actually Deidara knew her. She was easy to recognize; one side of her hair was shaved off, a lot of piercings, and she was a regular customer at Silver.

"Hey," she smiled, "what's up Deidara?" She asked while Itachi was paying.

"Day off," he shrugged, "You? Coming for a new piercing soon?"

She leaned forward on the counter. "Actually I was thinking of getting a tattoo, a rose, right here," she indicated her left breast.

"That would be really nice," Deidara said sincerely.

Itachi stepped in, "Deidara's a tattoo artist now."

"Really?" She exclaimed, "That's great!"

"Yeah he did mine," Itachi took off his jacket and lifted his short sleeve to show her.

"It's really nice!" She nodded appreciatively as she looked at his arm. She glanced back at Deidara. "I'll come by tomorrow. You work on Wednesdays, right?"

"Yeah," he nodded.

"Maybe you have some time for my tattoo?"

"Sure!" He smiled, "I have plenty of designs with roses ready…"

"I'll see you tomorrow then!" She smiled back.

"All right, cool!"

They walked out of the store, and Deidara took the black plastic bag from Itachi.

"At least I'll hold it… Damn it! Why did you buy me something again?"

"I feel like spoiling you a little, is that a crime?" Itachi smiled, "Besides, now I got you a new customer!"

"Yeah… Thanks," he said.

"No problem. And don't be embarrassed because I bought you stuff. I mean, what's your salary?"

"Uh… minimum wage."

"My point exactly. My family's practically rich Dei, and I still live with my parents. So it's my pleasure, all right?"

Deidara said nothing. He just followed Itachi as he walked towards a pricy clothing store for men.

They continued shopping – well Itachi continued shopping, Deidara was afraid that if he so much as looked at something Itachi would instantly buy it for him – and the raven ended up buying a nice navy button down shirt.

"Did you need that for a special event or…?" Deidara asked as they continued walking around the mall.

"No, but my old ones are a little too tight. You know, I was just as skinny as you before I starting training," he added teasingly.

"I'm not that skinny…" he muttered.

They spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around the mall, making small talk and commenting on the different stores. Soon, they started getting hungry since they'd both skipped lunch. There were actually a couple of nice restaurants in the mall, but since Deidara didn't know them, Itachi chose where to go. His choice was a fancy French restaurant; Deidara could tell it would be expensive as soon as they stepped in.

They followed the waitress to one of the last booths in the back, and with the dim lights, soft jazz music playing, and elegant decoration, Deidara felt like this was a romantic dinner. It made him feel nervous.

The waitress asked them if they wanted something to drink, and Itachi ordered a half litre of their best red wine. When she was gone he turned to Deidara.

"Are you gonna tell me you never tasted wine either?"

He glanced away and chuckled nervously. "Look, the only thing I did taste is a popper. Konan insisted, at a party… And it was blue, and it was disgusting and made me feel sick."

Itachi's dark eyes widened. "It sure isn't the best thing to drink. But don't tell me you decided not to drink just because of that?"

"No," he whispered, "there's another reason…"

"Can I ask what it is?"

Deidara hesitated for a few moments, and the waitress came back with the wine. She poured it in two cups, and then she saw that they hadn't opened their menus yet, so she said she would come back in a few minutes.

Deidara had never talked about this to anyone. But he decided it wouldn't hurt to just tell Itachi a little. He didn't need to go into details.

"My father was an alcoholic…" He said in a low voice. "Probably still is…"

"Oh… that sucks." Itachi said, "But hey, that doesn't mean you'll become one too. There's nothing wrong with drinking once in a while, the important thing is not to get addicted to it. Like pretty much every other bad habit in life, anyway…"

Deidara made a little smile, and nodded. Itachi raised his glass hesitantly. The blonde rolled his eyes and raised his glass as well.

"Let's drink to hum…" Itachi hesitated, "our… friendship I guess. Corny, huh?"

"Yeah. Your mom would be so proud."

"I know."

They laughed and took a few sips of wine. When Deidara put his cup down and looked back at Itachi, he saw that he was looking at him expectantly.

"It's not bad," Deidara admitted.

The rest of the meal was very nice. Again, they pretty much made small talk. Itachi ate the filet mignon, and Deidara the seafood linguini.

It was good, but way too much, and Deidara didn't finish his meal. He drank his share of wine, though, and it was making him a little bit light-headed since he wasn't used to it.

When they were finished the waitress asked if they wanted one or two bills.

"One, please," Itachi answered.

Deidara put his hand down on the table. "No, two separate bills please," he said.

But Itachi took this opportunity to put his hand on Deidara and squeeze gently. "Just one," he insisted.

The waitress smiled fondly and nodded, before walking away.

The wine not helping, Deidara felt his face heat up intensely. He pulled his hand away and hid his face in it.

"Why'd you do that?"

"I told you before," he shrugged and smiled, "it makes me happy all right?"

Deidara meant the fact that Itachi had taken his hand, not that he was paying for the meal, but he didn't reply.

Later, while they were driving back towards Deidara's place, listening to his IPod again, Itachi suddenly glanced sideways at him with a mischievous smile.

"What?" He asked, a little scared.

"Just wondering if you're ready to learn to drive a manual."

"Oh God…" Deidara face palmed.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

It was getting late, and the streets were pretty much empty around Deidara's apartment. They stopped the car, and switched places. Deidara adjusted the rear-view mirror and the seat because Itachi was a little taller than him, and now he was ready – kind of.

"So like I said, the tough part is balancing the clutch and gas when you start... Once you got the hang of it, the rest is a piece of cake," Itachi explained, "All right, come on try it."

The blonde took a deep breath, pressed on the clutch with his left foot, and started the car. So far so good. He shifted to first gear. That was also very easy. And now for the tough part.

"Just release the clutch slowly, while pushing on the gas…" Itachi explained again.

Deidara lowered the music to be able to concentrate. He did just like Itachi had told him. And to his surprise, it worked, and he started driving smoothly.

"Good job," Itachi said half-teasing, "now shift to second gear."

He pushed on the clutch and did as he was told again. He smiled and glanced at Itachi.

He smiled back. "See? It's not that hard."

But then there was a stop sign, so he stopped, and when he started again, the engine died.

"Ah, sorry…" Deidara said as he started the car again.

"That's perfectly normal," Itachi chuckled, "try again."

Thirty minutes later, Deidara had pretty much gotten the hang of it. He was having a lot of fun, actually. Driving a manual was a lot of fun once you'd figured it out. If only there weren't all those damn stop signs… But he was also getting better at the whole clutch and gas thing. So all in all he had a lot of fun. He was even able to park the car back in front of his apartment.

"Thank you," he smiled, looking at the raven, "thank you so much it was great. I have my driver's license but it's pretty much useless since I never get to drive…" He added sadly.

"I'll let you drive my car as often as you want," Itachi said.

"Really?"

"Yeah sure," he smiled.

"Sweet! Thanks Itachi."

They exited the vehicle, and Deidara gave the keys back. But Itachi didn't step back in the car.

"What are you doing…?"

"I want to see your apartment."

Deidara made a face. "It's horrible, it's small, it's messy…"

"I don't care," Itachi said stubbornly.

The blonde just stood there in front of him for a moment, trying to find some other excuses. He shivered in the cold night, and shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Don't you have anything warmer than that hoodie?" Itachi frowned.

"What are you my mom?" he chuckled.

"Whatever let's just go inside it's freezing out here," the raven insisted.

"…Fine," he finally gave in.

…

Itachi had to admit that it was small – one bedroom, the living room and kitchen together, and a bathroom – and that the building itself was old and not very well-kept. But this wasn't Deidara's fault. The mess, however, was his fault, and he was rather shy about it.

It was cute and funny to see him picking up random scattered things on the floor fervently, and shoving them in his drawers or wardrobe, but at some point Itachi told him to stop.

"Look, you didn't know I was coming. No big deal. It's not like I've never seen a messy room before…"

He'd often had one night stands in bedrooms much worst than this, except he didn't need to tell Deidara that detail. Other than the mess, he liked his room. It was small, but somehow warm and he wouldn't have doubted for a single moment that it was his bedroom. There were posters everywhere on the walls – metal bands of course, rock and punk bands too, as well as a tattoo art calendar. The single bed – which Deidara was quickly trying to replace properly – seemed comfortable, and the blankets and sheets were turquoise.

Itachi frowned slightly when he noticed a pair of sharp scissors lying on the bedside table, but a few seconds later these were shoved in a drawer as well.

"Relax," he told Deidara, "just calm down, all right?"

The blonde finally stopped his frantic attempts to clean up, and he sat on the bed, putting his head in his hands.

"Are you okay?" Itachi asked, sitting beside him.

"Ah, yeah, I just… kind of have a headache but… it'll pass."

"If you want me to go…"

Deidara looked up at him with wide blue eyes. "No! Stay…"

Itachi made a little smile. Well, for someone who didn't want him to come inside in the first place now he was pretty persistent.

Deidara seemed to realize this too, and he glanced away, blushing.

"You wanna watch a movie?" He asked in a little voice.

Itachi followed his stare, and noticed the impressive collection of music records and dvds on the bookshelves.

"Sure," Itachi shrugged.

"Since you made me watch your disgusting horror movies the other day… I get to choose this time," he said, standing.

"Fair enough," he chuckled.

Deidara chose the movie Get him to the Greek. They went to sit on the living room couch, but he didn't own a television, so he brought his laptop instead. It was seventeen inches, so it wasn't so bad. He put it on the low table and installed the movie.

"It's kind of a parody of the music industry these days, mostly in the States," Deidara explained. "It's like, one of my favorite comedy movies, ever."

Itachi didn't reply, waiting for the movie to start. He took off his jacket and put it on the couch armrest, and then he leaned back in the couch comfortably. Deidara imitated him, taking off his hoodie. Itachi suddenly wished he would just lean back against him so that he could hold him in his arms. But of course he didn't.

They watched the movie quietly, except for a few funny comments from Deidara, and a few laughs too. At some point he offered him a glass of water, which he accepted.

Towards the end of the movie Itachi shifted closer to Deidara. He proceeded to undo his messy folded ponytail, letting his hair down.

"What are you doing?" Deidara asked. "You have to pay attention to the movie, or you're gonna miss the best jokes…"

"I'm paying attention," Itachi replied.

He continued watching the movie, except at the same time he was detangling Deidara's long blonde hair with his fingers. It was so soft, and it smelled so good. It was slightly wavy too, probably because it had been up all this time.

"You really are obsessed with my hair aren't you?" He chuckled, turning his head slightly to look at him.

"I guess I am."

More like obsessed with all of his body… He thought lustfully.

And at the end of the movie, he decided he wanted to give in his obsession a little bit more.

"Did you like it?" Deidara asked, smiling.

"It was retarded. But funny," he said.

The blonde laughed lightly as he put the disc back in its box.

"So… I had one more thing planned for today," Itachi said.

He stopped his movements and looked at him, a scared look on his face. Itachi got the intuition he was scared that he wanted to have sex. Well, not that Itachi didn't want to, but he knew it wasn't the right time yet. Deidara wasn't like all those slutty boys he used to meet in clubs – far from it.

"Just a massage, silly. Remember? I promised you."

"Ah, it's really okay," Deidara said, replacing his long bangs behind his ears nervously.

"I want to, come on," Itachi got up and made his way toward his bedroom.

Deidara picked up his laptop and followed him. In the other room he put the laptop on his desk and put on some music. Itachi looked at him, amused.

"What?" Deidara asked defensively. "I told you, I always listen to music."

"I didn't say anything!" He chuckled, "All right, just hum... take off your shirt, if you don't mind, and lie down on your bed."

Deidara seemed panicked for a moment. Right, he still didn't know that Itachi knew about his arms… But Itachi knew just what to say to reassure him.

"You can keep your clothes, your sleeves, whatever, I really just need you to take off your t-shirt and lie down on your stomach."

There, subtle enough. It worked. Deidara did as he was told. Itachi couldn't help but check him out, of course, for the brief moment that he saw him shirtless and standing. With the chain around his neck, his long hair, his tattoos and piercings, he just looked… so hot and kinda adorable.

Then he lied down on his bed, resting his head in his folded arms. He still seemed tensed and nervous, though. Well, Itachi thought, that was exactly why he wanted to do this. He knew it would surprise Deidara, and maybe make him even more tensed, but he sat on top of him, with his legs folded on each side of him.

"Do you mind if I sit like that?" He asked half-teasing, "it's more comfortable for me."

"Uh…"

He went quiet when Itachi started massaging him. First he placed his hair away softly, and then he started with the nape of his neck.

His mother had taken massotherapy lessons when she still wasn't sure what she wanted to do as a career, so she had given him massages sometimes when he was younger, and the pressure of school and keeping up his grades was too much. She had given him a few tips as to how to do it properly, too.

Now they finally came in handy. And God did Deidara need this; his neck and his back were so tensed, and there were so many knots. Itachi worked on each of them slowly and carefully, but firmly at the same time.

"This feels so good," Deidara whispered.

Itachi smiled. Objective achieved already. But he didn't stop there. He continued working on relaxing Deidara's back muscles. Of course this wasn't entirely selfless. He did want Deidara to feel better, but at the same time, he was enjoying this a lot. He just loved touching this smooth skin, and feeling this sexy, little ass right under his crotch. Actually he was enjoying it a little bit too much.

At some point he couldn't help himself any longer, so he carefully changed his position, sitting beside Deidara instead. He didn't want him to feel his growing erection. He continued massaging him, only it was a little less comfortable for him indeed. But it didn't matter. Deidara was becoming more and more relaxed, and he even let out little moans sometimes.

"Feels good?" Itachi asked him softly.

"Yeah…" he breathed. "You're so good at this… Konan tried to give me massages sometimes but it was just… kinda painful…"

"I happen to know what I'm doing." He said simply, "Hey the music playing right now, it's Metallica, right, the band on your t-shirt?"

"Hmm yeah, Nothing else matters. At least you know the classics."

"Yeah it's a good song," Itachi said.

They just stayed quiet for a little while after that, enjoying the music. Itachi continued massaging him, but more smoothly. His wrists and hands were a little tired, and besides Deidara was almost completely relaxed now. So eventually he was simply pressing his fingers down his spine, doing a few circular movements. He liked the curve of his lower back. And he really liked the tattoo on his left shoulder blade, too. He caressed the skin there softly, tracing the contours of the black bird.

All he wanted to do was to kiss Deidara's skin, lean closer, take off his own shirt and press their bodies together… He closed his eyes, trying to calm himself. If he continued fantasizing like this, damn, he might come in his pants… He hadn't had sex for more than three months – and that was _a lot_ for him.

When he had calmed himself enough, he grabbed Deidara's shoulder softly and turned him around. Sleepy blue eyes opened and looked at him.

"Were you sleeping?" Itachi chuckled.

He frowned slightly. "I don't know…"

Itachi smiled. He wanted to just kiss those beautiful pink lips…

Deidara took his wrist softly to look at the time on his watch. Itachi already knew it was really late, but he didn't care.

"Ah shit…" he sighed, "I have to get up in five hours…"

"Coffee is your friend."

"Yeah…" Deidara frowned, "But what about you? Don't you have class tomorrow morning? Or are you gonna decide it's cancelled, too?"

"Coffee is also gonna be my friend," Itachi answered.

"Oh."

On a silent agreement they both stood up. Itachi went to get his jacket, and Deidara followed him, hugging himself and shivering slightly.

"Can't you turn on the heat?" Itachi asked.

"Ah yeah but… it saves money if I keep it low so…" Deidara shrugged. "I'm gonna go to bed in a minute anyway."

"Come here," Itachi said softly as he wrapped his arms around the blonde.

Deidara held him back; this time his body was more relaxed. When they pulled away, he smiled shyly.

"Hum, thanks for the massage, honestly, you should consider doing that as a career. You'd be rich. Oh wait, you're already rich." He laughed, "Sorry I'm tired."

"It's okay. Well, good night then." He said, stepping towards the door.

"Wait, um…" Deidara blushed slightly, "D'you wanna… go out on Saturday?"

Itachi's dark eyes widened. He was surprised. "_You_, actually inviting _me_ to do something?"

"I guess," he chuckled, "but yeah with the staff from my job we're gonna meet at our usual bar after work, at like, ten, probably. But I wanted to invite you too…"

"Sure, I'd love to go," he smiled.

"Cool," he smiled back, "I'll see you on Saturday!"

"Yeah. Bye, take care."

"You too."

Itachi turned on the radio in his car as he drove back home that night. Probably Deidara rubbing off on him. The thought made him smile.

…

The following few days went by very slowly for Itachi. He kept thinking about Deidara. He also kept dreaming about him… Mostly erotic dreams, actually. He didn't want to just get in his pants though. He wanted to understand him, to help him, to get to know him even better… And he knew he was slowly getting there. And that made him happy. Hell, he'd even be ready to be in a real relationship with this guy.

Which is why on Saturday, he was really looking forward to the evening. He focused on his homework as much as he could, but it wasn't that easy. He didn't eat too much at dinner either, even though Mikoto had made lasagna and it was delicious. But he had never been to that bar before, and he didn't know if they would eat there, or drink a lot, so just in case he chose not to fill his stomach too much.

Of course, everyone noticed this.

"Are you sick, Itachi?" Mikoto asked, worried. "You barely touched your food."

"Yeah you look kinda pale," Minato added from the other side of the rectangular table.

"Dad," Naruto chimed in, "in case you haven't noticed yet, these people are always pale. It's normal."

"You're all retards," Sasuke said, "He's just going out tonight."

"Oh?" Mikoto glanced at her youngest son. "It's been a while since he went out, no?"

"Well, you guys look like you're just fine continuing this conversation without me." He chuckled, standing. "I'm sorry mom I'm just not really hungry. I'll put it in the fridge and eat it tomorrow for lunch or something…" He said as he brought his plate to the kitchen.

He knew this would make her happy at least. When he was done with that, he left the others to their conversations – thankfully they had moved on to other subjects than his night life – and went to his bedroom.

Again, he tried to concentrate on his homework – keyword being tried. Well, it worked for about fifteen minutes. After that he decided to take a shower even though he had already taken one in the morning.

He took his time to get ready since it was only 8 pm. He put on his favorite pair of jeans to go out – they were dark grey, almost black, low waist, and rather tight and sexy. It made him look even taller. With that he wore a simple black tank top, and his new navy button down shirt, rolling the sleeves up to his elbows.

He sat in his computer chair and glanced around his room, lazily looking for something to do to pass the time…

Then his little brother came knocking at his door, "Are you masturbating?"

He laughed, "No, you can come in."

Sasuke pushed the door open and went to sit on his bed.

"Naruto's not with you? Oh my God is he dead?" Itachi pretended to be alarmed.

They were always together, so why not tease him a little?

"No, but he started playing Leagues of legend with Kiba again…" Sasuke sighed.

"Oh…" Itachi said in understanding.

Naruto could get pretty addicted to those kinds of games. Thankfully it never lasted too long.

"So, where are you going tonight? You put on more body spray than usual," Sasuke said.

Itachi frowned.

"I'm just messing with you. But seriously where are you going?"

"Why do you want to know that?"

"Just curious."

"I'm actually going to a straight club."

Sasuke raised a brow. "Why the hell would you wanna go there? I thought you told me last time you fucked a girl you were seventeen, and you didn't miss it at all."

"I'm not going there to find someone to fuck. I like Deidara now, remember?"

"Ah, I see," Sasuke smiled, "So he's gonna be there tonight?"

"Yup."

"And you're not gonna fuck him?" Sasuke sounded doubtful.

The elder sibling hesitated, "I don't think so. I don't think he's ready."

"Are you gonna be able to wait?"

Now he was annoyed. "Sasuke, honestly, why are you asking me all these questions?"

"I don't know I guess I'm bored…"

"Well go be bored somewhere else."

Sasuke chuckled and got up, walking up to the door.

"I'm glad you found someone you like."

"Thanks," Itachi made a little smile. Then, he said, "Hey can I borrow your flat iron?"

"Sure," he chuckled.

…

At 9 pm Itachi was waiting outside the weird bar alone – weird as in there was a giant spider above the doors as a decoration. It was cold outside, but at least he had his warm black trench coat. He kept running his fingers through his now extremely sleek hair. It felt funny. He just hoped Deidara would like it. Oh god that sounded so gay… the truth was, Itachi was kinda nervous. And he wasn't used to the feeling.

Well, they shouldn't be long to arrive, he thought as he checked his cell for the hundredth time. Deidara had texted him two minutes ago, saying they were closing up the store. It was right across the street.

Itachi had taken the public transportations, since he would probably drink, and anyway finding a parking place downtown on weekend nights was a pain in the ass.

Finally he saw them. Nagato, Yahiko and Konan were walking together, crossing the street, and Sasori and Deidara were a little further behind. Itachi frowned as he saw that Sasori was walking a little too close to Deidara for his liking. As for the blonde, he was wearing converse shoes and skinny jeans with his small black hoodie. Itachi sighed quietly; couldn't he wear something warmer? It was freezing outside…

Nagato was the first to notice him – unfortunately.

"Itachi! Hi! What's up? You look great!"

"Um… thanks," he replied. Awkward…

"Let's go inside," Yahiko said.

"Come on Itachi…" Nagato said.

Deidara had joined them, and he looked annoyed by Nagato's idiotic flirting. A fact which amused and pleased Itachi.

"Hey," he smiled at the blonde.

"Hey," Deidara smiled back, "you didn't wait too long?"

"No it's okay. Hey I like your hair like that," he complimented as they started walking together. Nagato and Sasori sticking close unfortunately.

"Thanks," Deidara blushed slightly.

His long, thick blonde locks were styled in a half-ponytail and it looked adorable. They paid at the check room, where they left their coats. It didn't go unnoticed by Itachi that Deidara checked him out. But that was mainly because Itachi was doing some checking out of his own. Deidara really looked hot. He wore a blue v-neck long sleeve shirt, with the necklace Itachi had bought him. It was a little different from his usual style, but Itachi liked it. He was biased though. He'd probably find Deidara hot in any clothes…

Itachi managed to stop looking at Deidara for a moment, and he took in the decor of the club. From the outside it hadn't looked like much, but the inside was nice. On the first floor there was a long, sleek bar counter, with a large dance floor and a stage, as well as a few tables in the back. The dance floor and stage were empty – probably because, as Deidara had told him, they were playing rock alternative and metal music on Saturday nights. Also it was still early.

They all went upstairs. On the second floor there were a lot more tables, and another bar counter of course. Yahiko and Konan led the way to a large round table in the back, and the others followed. Nagato sat in between Yahiko and Itachi, and Sasori sat between Konan and Deidara.

"So… should we get some beer?" Yahiko suggested.

"Sure, yeah," Sasori nodded.

"Deidara you're not drinking, we know," Nagato said before the blonde could pronounce a word, "What about you Itachi?"

"I'm good for now," he replied.

"I'll pay for the first one," Yahiko announced, tapping the table with his hand before getting up and walking to the bar. There weren't many people, maybe just ten standing there.

It was slightly awkward. Konan looked kind of pissed and frustrated every time she glanced at Deidara, who sat right in front of her. Nagato kept checking out Itachi and he wasn't strong on subtlety. And Sasori was doing the same with Deidara. It was better when Yahiko came back with the beer pitcher. Nagato went to help him bring the four glasses. They started talking about random things, but mostly their conversation was centered on work. Which reminded Itachi of something…

"Hey Deidara," he said, "remember that girl from when we went shopping? Did you do her tattoo?"

"Yeah," he smiled.

"He was awesome," Yahiko commented, "He used his own design, the girl loved it, and it looked great."

Itachi just smiled as he glanced sideways at the small blonde.

As the others started talking amongst themselves Itachi lowered his voice and asked Deidara if he wanted something to drink.

"No," he said nervously, "I'd rather not."

"Oh Deidara never drinks," Nagato said, "he's kinda boring in parties actually."

Sasori glared at the other red-head, "At least he doesn't throw up everywhere like you."

"Hey that happened once!" Nagato replied defensively.

So then the following conversations were mostly about their previous parties. Deidara didn't seem to be paying much attention though. Instead he started telling Itachi all about the metal music playing, as he did all the time. Itachi didn't mind, he liked listening Deidara talking about the songs, the music, the instruments that he liked. He was so passionate about it, it was endearing really.

At some point, when Deidara paused, Itachi asked again, "Are you sure you don't want just one drink?"

"All right fine," he gave in, "one drink."

They went to the bar counter together, and Itachi ordered two beers. He paid and Deidara didn't protest. Then Itachi decided to choose a different table, apart from the others.

"Do you mind if we don't sit with them?"

"Absolutely not," Deidara chuckled.

They sat side by side, putting down their beers on the low table. From where they sat, they had a direct view of the stage downstairs – which was still empty.

"They're staring at us," Itachi said as he glanced at Deidara's friends.

The blonde shrugged, "Let's just ignore them."

"My thoughts exactly."

Deidara tasted his beer, and smiled, "It's not bad. Thanks by the way."

"You're welcome."

"You did something different with your hair, didn't you?" Deidara asked, tilting his head slightly to the side. "It's really nice." He reached out with his hand to touch his hair timidly. "It's so soft!" He exclaimed, chuckling, before pulling his hand away.

Itachi simply smiled at him. But on the inside he felt a mix of nervousness and excitement. There was this intense feeling… he wanted to be closer to Deidara, so badly…

Glancing down, Itachi noticed a group of people had started dancing.

"Weird," he said, making Deidara laugh.

"Wait 'til you see my friends dancing."

"How can you even dance to that music?" Itachi crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat.

"Well," Deidara chuckled, "when they're really drunk they'll dance to anything. They'll have one or two more pitchers, and then they'll go, you'll see."

Itachi locked eyes with him, intrigued. "What about you? The other times you came here, did you dance?"

Deidara laughed. "No fucking way! I just watch them. And make fun of them."

After that they talked about various things, but mostly Deidara talked about work and Itachi about school.

Deidara's prediction came true. Later in the evening, Yahiko, Konan, Sasori and Nagato walked up to their table, not so sober anymore, and asked if they wanted to dance. When Itachi and Deidara declined, the four of them walked made their way downstairs to join the increasingly crowded dance floor. It turned out it really was funny to watch them dance. For the next thirty minutes Deidara and Itachi just sat there commenting about the dancers actually. At some point Sasori and Nagato even climbed up stage with some other people, and that was a funny sight. Their dancing sort of didn't make sense.

"Do you want another beer?" Itachi asked.

"No, I'm good." Deidara smiled.

Itachi didn't push it, but he went to the bar counter to get another one for himself. When he returned to his seat, he looked at the blonde thoughtfully.

"What?"

"What's the real reason," Itachi said slowly after taking a sip of his beer, "why you don't want to drink?"

Deidara glanced away, looking nervous and reluctant to talk. Itachi had expected his reaction though, so he simply continued.

"I'm trying to show you that you can have one or two drinks, once in a while, no big deal. It's not gonna turn you into an alcoholic."

Deidara nodded slowly as he looked at him. "Yeah I guess you're right. I just promised myself…" he hesitated, "I would never be like him…"

"What was he like when he was drunk?" Itachi asked softly. He waited and got no answer, so he asked, "Did he beat you up?"

Blue eyes widened and delicate blonde eyebrows frowned slightly. Then he glanced down in defeat and sighed shakily.

"Yeah sometimes…"

"And you never told anyone about this?"

"…No."

"Well, you know you can talk to me, right?"

They stayed silent for a few moments and tears appeared in Deidara's eyes. He wiped them in frustration with trembling hands. When he looked at his fingers there were some traces of black because of his eyeliner. Itachi reached out to put a comforting hand on his shoulder, but Deidara stood up so quickly that he almost knocked the chair over.

"I… I'm just gonna go to the bathroom... I'll be right back."

Itachi nodded sadly and watched as he walked down the stairs. Something caught his eye and bothered him though; Sasori had spotted Deidara and was now following him. The raven wasn't sure he liked this.

So Itachi decided to go as well, just in case Sasori tried something. He realized now to what extent he was possessive and protective of Deidara. But he couldn't help it.

So he went to the restrooms. Actually, there was a line up for the girls' bathroom, whereas the men's bathroom was pretty much empty.

When he stepped in he saw that Sasori was just standing there, and Deidara was locked up in a stall. He caught the end of his sentence.

"…just go away Sasori I'm fine!"

But the red-head didn't reply. He was glaring at Itachi of course.

"What happened?" He asked accusingly.

But Deidara answered; since he didn't know Itachi was here he had thought the question was addressed to him.

"Nothing! I just need a minute all right?"

"Are you all right?" Itachi asked, ignoring Sasori and making his presence known.

When Deidara heard his voice he got out of his stall. He was still wiping his eyes.

"Stupid eyeliner," he muttered as he went to the sink to wash his hands.

"You okay, what's going on?" Sasori asked, stepping closer to him.

Deidara was extremely annoyed, "Yeah I'm fine!" He wet some tissues and cleaned the eyeliner off his face.

"I'm sorry," he said, glancing at Itachi, "I'm just tired."

The three of them soon walked out of the bathroom without a word. Sasori put his hand on Deidara's back, but the latter stepped away – to Itachi's relief.

"We should go take the bus now," Sasori suggested, "we work tomorrow after all…"

"Yeah," Deidara nodded.

They made their way outside. Sasori mentioned that the three others wanted to stay until 3 in the morning.

"Yahiko's gonna be shit-faced tomorrow," Deidara chuckled.

"Yup!" Sasori laughed.

Itachi suddenly felt out of place. He stopped walking half-way to the bus stop. The night service bus didn't even go to where he lived, so he had to take a cab anyway. At first he was afraid Deidara wouldn't even look back. But only a few seconds later the blonde stopped and turned around. He told Sasori to wait, and quickly walked over to Itachi.

"I'm sorry," he said, "I can't really talk to you in front of him." He smiled sadly, "But I'll text you okay?"

"Okay," Itachi said.

Their bus arrived soon after so the two colleagues hopped in. Meanwhile Itachi got into a cab. There were lots of them driving around downtown since it was Saturday night. He informed the driver of his address, and then checked his cell; as promised, Deidara had already texted him.

_"Sorry for being such a crybaby. But thanks… actually it felt good to tell someone about my father."_

Itachi replied, _"No problem. Like I said, feel free to talk to me about anything."_

And after that, they continued exchanging messages on their respective ways back home.

_"Sasori's glaring at me right now."_

_"He's jealous cause you're texting me."_

_"Probably lol."_

_"Next time we go out, it will be just the two of us."_

_"I'd like that."_

Itachi smiled, and replied, _"I can't wait."_


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

When he was woken up by his cell alarm at 8 am, Deidara felt like crying. He was so damn tired… He hadn't slept so well – as usual.

His dreams had been haunted by images of his father beating him up and insulting him this time. Maybe actually telling the whole story to Itachi would help. But at the same time he wasn't so sure it was such a good idea. Deidara didn't want to turn into some whiny emo boy always complaining to Itachi about his tragic life. That would really suck.

He decided to text him, _"I have to get up… I hate my life."_

Itachi's reply came a few seconds later. _"And I'm probably gonna stay in bed til noon."_

"_Bastard."_ Deidara answered. But of course a silly smile was spread on his lips. He was forgetting all about his nightmares just thinking about Itachi.

"_Come on I know you can do it. Think about all the people coming to see you for a tattoo!"_

"_I wish…"_

"_You know what I just decided something. I'll make you a website."_

Deidara frowned slightly as he re-read Itachi's text. He replied, _"Why?"_

"_To promote you as a tattoo artist of course."_

"_I don't know… what if they just steal my designs?"_

"_I'll come see you at work this afternoon so we can talk about it."_

"_Really?"_

"_Yeah sure. Now get up and stop texting me I wanna go back to sleep."_

"_You're still a bastard."_

Itachi didn't reply after that. Deidara growled as he finally managed to get out of bed and stumble his way to the bathroom to take a shower. Itachi was so lucky… he wanted to go back to sleep too damn it. Oh well, at least now he had something to look forward to during his day at work… He bit his lip to repress a smile… Itachi was gonna come see him at work. How come that simple thought made him so happy yet kinda nervous?

After his shower he quickly got dressed in dark skinny jeans, blue tank top, with his black arm warmers of course, and also the necklace and belt Itachi had bought him. He put on his black hoodie, tied his hair, picked up cell, keys, wallet and IPod, and stormed out of his apartment. He selected Nothing else matters by Metallica on his IPod as he walked towards the bus stop, because it reminded him of when Itachi had given him a massage…

He shivered in the cold and foggy November morning, wishing the bus would arrive already. Suddenly he noticed a guy with red hair walking towards the bus stop. It was Sasori. Weird…

Deidara frowned and asked, "What are you doing here?"

Sasori lived a good thirty minutes away, by foot. They had taken the same night bus back home but during the day Sasori could just step out of his apartment building and there was a bus stop right there.

"I decided to walk to take the same bus as you," Sasori explained simply.

Well that was creepy; not only they had seen each other almost all week long at work, but also they'd just spend last night together. Wasn't that more than enough?

Deidara went into quiet antisocial mode with his IPod bursting in his ears. But Sasori didn't quite get the message; he kept clinging to him in the bus, while walking up to the store, and also _in _the store while working – except when he had customers thankfully. Anyway, it was starting to really get on Deidara's nerves. His flirting was getting a little too intense…

…

Naruto had spontaneously decided he wanted a new piercing in his ear, more precisely a rook piercing. So the blonde teen was tagging along, with Sasuke of course because they couldn't spend even a mere few hours apart. The two boys sat in the back seat of Itachi's car, as he drove toward Deidara's store. This time he explored the streets around it a little, trying to find a free parking spot. It wasn't easy, but eventually he managed, squeezing his car in between two vans in a small street. Itachi turned his head and realized his little brother was making out with Naruto. He rolled his eyes.

"Guys. Seriously."

They pulled away and Naruto casually exclaimed, "Oh we're here! Sweet, I'm getting a new piercing!"

The three males walked on the sidewalk, Naruto and Sasuke leading, and Itachi behind them, hands shoved in his trench coat's pockets and a warm, black scarf tightly wrapped around his neck. It was snowing a little, and the sky was already getting dark. Then again, it hadn't been sunny at all that day. November really was a crappy month, Itachi thought.

When they walked in the store Yahiko was alone behind the counter. He did look a little worn out, just as Deidara and Sasori had predicted last night.

"Oh, hi guys!" He smiled happily nonetheless.

"Hey man what's up?" Naruto smiled back, "I wanna get a rook piercing. Right here," he pointed at the top of his left ear.

The red-head chuckled. "All right! Just fill this up as usual…" He handed Naruto the form.

"Hey, Yahiko, um, I needed to talk to Deidara, actually," Itachi said hesitantly. "Is he here?"

"Oh, yeah, sure, he's in the back store I think. You can go I don't mind."

Itachi thanked him and made his way to the back door, not without noticing Sasuke's mocking glance.

He pushed the door opened, and stepped in a small hallway. There was a bathroom and the employees' room was just a little further. He could hear voices coming from it as he approached slowly.

"…I can't be with a guy anyway!" Deidara's voice said.

"But Konan told me you were gay! She said that's why you guys broke up!" Sasori replied on an insisting tone.

Itachi frowned as he stood near the closed door. He was conflicted; he wanted to stop this right now but at the same time, he couldn't help being curious...

"I don't want a relationship anyway, so don't lose your time!"

"Who said anything about a relationship?" Sasori's voice became urgent. "I just want you… so bad…"

"Don't touch me!" Deidara sounded panicked. "Don't! Stop!"

Itachi burst in the room; he'd heard enough. "What the hell's going on here?"

Sasori stopped his movements to glare at the newcomer, but he was still pinning Deidara to the wall, his thigh forced in between the small blonde's legs. Poor guy was totally freaking out.

"Get off him!" Itachi quickly grabbed Sasori's shoulder and yanked him away roughly.

Deidara was breathing hard, and looked like he was hyperventilating or something. Itachi frowned, worried. But before he could say anything, Sasori snorted.

"Okay fine, I'm sorry! Jeez Dei stop dressing like a whore if you don't want this to happen…"

What a lame excuse; Deidara was dressed in skinny jeans and a tank top. Besides, his black hoodie was thrown on the floor, so Itachi suspected Sasori had forced him to take it off.

"Just get the hell out!" He shouted angrily at the red-head.

Sasori was fuming, but apparently Itachi was intimidating enough, because he stormed out of the room the next instant.

The raven hurried to Deidara's side. The latter was still kinda shaky, blue eyes frightened, hugging himself. Itachi carefully wrapped his arms around him, and Deidara broke down. He pressed himself against Itachi, barely standing, and they held each other tight. Deidara buried his face in his chest, quiet sobs racking his body. Itachi rubbed his back soothingly, and caressed his messy blonde hair. The younger male eventually calmed down a little.

They pulled away slowly and Deidara looked up, "Sorry… I really thought…" he took a deep breath, "I thought he was gonna…" He couldn't finish, but Itachi had a pretty good idea what he was trying to say. And he felt like punching Sasori's brains out right now.

He kept a comforting hand on Deidara's arm, while leading him to the table. They sat and Deidara rested his head in his hands.

"He was really intense all day…" he whispered. Itachi moved his chair closer. "But I didn't think…" Deidara's voice broke. "I didn't think he'd actually try to…"

"Deidara," Itachi sighed, "this is sexual harassment. You need to tell Yahiko about this as soon as possible, and he'll have no choice but to fire him."

"You think?" Deidara asked in a little voice, turning his head slightly to glance at him.

"Yeah."

"You… you really had good timing there…" He chuckled sadly, "And I cried in front of you _again_. Just great."

The raven sighed, and shook his head in disbelief. "Damn it, Deidara what the hell? I really don't care." As if to prove his point he wrapped his arms around him again, and held him tight.

Deidara returned the hug this time, and they stayed like this for a few seconds. It felt so right to be holding him and Itachi wanted to stay like this forever, but eventually Deidara was calmer so they decided to return to the store. Itachi picked up his hoodie on the way.

"Thanks," Deidara whispered as he took it and put it on.

When they passed Sasori, who was now busy with a customer at his tattoo station, Deidara tensed, and Itachi shifted closer to him protectively. Sasori just glared.

"So what took you so long?" Sasuke asked in a mocking tone. But then he met Itachi's eyes and his expression changed. He immediately knew something was off. He changed the subject quickly, "Um, Naruto's done with his piercing so…"

"Look!" Naruto pulled at his hair to show his ear, which was red, a little swollen, with a new piercing in the cartilage and a little spot of dried blood around it.

"Very sexy," Itachi said.

"Maybe not now," Naruto admitted, "but when it heals it'll be sexy. And I always heal super fast so…" He shrugged.

"That's great and all but… I think we should go," Itachi said. "Yahiko, Deidara's not feeling well, so I'll bring him back home, is that okay?"

Yahiko glanced at the blonde, and nodded. "Sure, no problem."

"Thanks," Deidara muttered and led the way out. Itachi guessed he wanted to be away from Sasori as soon as possible.

So the four of them left, and started walking outside, Naruto and Sasuke leading the way and Itachi and Deidara a little further behind.

"I'm gonna tell Yahiko on Wednesday. It's Sasori's day off, so…" Deidara glanced down, shivering.

Itachi took off his scarf and wrapped it around Deidara's neck instead. The nineteen year old glanced at him sideways with a weak smile.

"You know you're gonna die of hypothermia if you only wear this the whole winter," Itachi said half-teasing, tugging at the thin black hoodie sleeve.

Deidara chuckled, but didn't reply. He breathed in the scent of Itachi's scarf. This made the raven smile. But his smile disappeared when he glanced around and finally noticed they were walking in the wrong direction.

"Hum, guys?"

Sasuke and Naruto turned around, chuckling.

"We were wondering when you were gonna notice," Naruto said.

"Very funny," Itachi said sarcastically.

"What is it…?" Deidara asked, confused.

"My car's kinda the other way…"

"We don't feel like going home just yet," Sasuke shrugged. "Besides, Deidara, if you're not feeling well, you can hang out with us a little. It's better than going back home alone, no?"

Deidara simply nodded, part of his face hidden in the scarf.

"All right… but it's kinda cold to just hang out outside," Itachi said, "Where do you guys wanna go?"

"Right there," Naruto pointed not too far across the street, and Itachi rolled his eyes.

Naruto indicated a restaurant with their own brewery, and their beer was excellent of course. But there was another reason why Naruto liked the place so much; they never carded anyone.

It was only a minute walk away, so they continued at a rather fast pace.

"You should call mom to tell her we won't make it for dinner," Itachi told Sasuke.

"You call her."

"Hey you're the one who doesn't feel like going back home," Itachi replied.

"Fine…" Sasuke gave in, dialling the number on his cell.

After his brief – and rather angry on Mikoto's part – conversation on the phone, they entered the restaurant. It was more like a pub, really. They played dance music, with televisions in the corners showing the videos, and there was a large round bar counter in the middle where people could sit and drink. But there were also tables for people who wanted to eat.

So they followed the waiter to a table by the window giving on the busy street with all its traffic and people walking quickly. They sat on the comfortable benches, Itachi next to Deidara and in front of his brother. They got rid of their extra clothing, Naruto revealing an orange t-shirt, Sasuke a striped black and blue one, and Itachi a long sleeve navy blue shirt. Only Deidara kept his hoodie, but he took off the scarf, putting it aside on the bench with Itachi's coat.

They started by ordering a pitcher of the home made golden ale beer.

"Can I see your new piercing?" Deidara asked Naruto while they waited.

"Sure!" He turned his head to the side to show him his left ear.

"Cool," Deidara smiled, "it's just like mine." He also showed his left ear, where he indeed had the same piercing as Naruto, plus several others of course.

"Are you gonna encourage my brother to get piercings?" Sasuke asked Deidara, amused.

Deidara turned to look at Itachi, thoughtful. "Maybe. We'll see."

"I don't think so," Itachi chuckled, "I like piercings on you, but yeah on me it would look weird."

Deidara made a little smile when he mentioned that he liked his piercings. Then he said, "I think you'd look hot."

Itachi just smiled. After that the waiter arrived with their beer, and poured it in four glasses. He gave them more time to choose their food. Naruto decided they should make a toast to his new piercing, so they did, as if it actually was an important event that needed to be celebrated.

They ended up having a lot of fun. They ordered some all dressed pizza for everyone to share, but mostly they were content just drinking the delicious beer. Even Deidara was drinking quite fast. But Itachi was glad, because he was smiling and laughing with the others, and he seemed relaxed and happy for once.

While they drank their third pitcher of beer – the food was already finished – Naruto was rambling on about some anecdotes from school.

"Girls are _always_ talking about prom! It's so annoying. And you know what? Some girls keep asking Sasuke if he wants to go with them! I mean we've been together what now, like two years?" Naruto said, glancing sideways at his boyfriend. "Anyway," he continued when he got no answer, "Sakura and Ino are the worst man! They ask him every freakin' day! They bring him flowers to school, and love letters! I mean who does that? To a gay dude who's already in a relationship at that!" He shook his head, annoyed at the mere thought of those girls apparently.

Deidara laughed. "Yeah I remember those girls in high school. I think they're like ten years old and already thinking about what dress they'll wear to prom."

"They're insane," Naruto agreed, "So what about you, did you go to your prom?"

"Nope," Deidara drank some more beer. Itachi was starting to get worried. Maybe he'd had enough already.

"I'm sure you didn't miss anything," Sasuke said, "Honestly, I wouldn't go, but Naruto wants to go, and my mom and Minato want me to go… and the whole school… so yeah."

"Sasuke's popular but he pretends he hates it," Naruto explained.

"You're openly gay and you're still popular?" Deidara asked, surprised.

"Yeah well there're some haters, can't be helped but…" Sasuke shrugged, "It's not so bad. It's thanks to our friends, really, they're idiots but I gotta give it to them… they've always been supportive."

Deidara nodded, looking out the window. Itachi wondered what he was thinking about. When he brought his glass to his lips again, Itachi put his hand on his arm softly.

"Maybe you should slow down…"

Deidara raised a delicate blonde eyebrow, "You're the one who told me having a couple drinks was fine…"

"Yeah Itachi," Naruto said, but he seemed quite drunk himself, "don't be a buzz kill man."

"You heard him," Deidara said and he chugged down the rest of his beer.

Itachi face palmed.

Fifteen minutes later they were walking back to the car. Itachi had paid for the meal, and since it was getting late they had left right away. They were all a little tired – in Naruto and Deidara's case, they were also drunk.

At sixteen years old, Naruto was already used to drinking. It was nothing to be proud of, Itachi thought, but at least he knew his limits, and he held his ground, walking straight enough. Deidara… not so much. He was stumbling more than walking, and Itachi had to keep a firm arm around his waist to help him. Also the blonde didn't really feel the cold anymore, and the scarf was loosely around his neck, his hoodie unzipped. He was smiling and leaning on Itachi, a lot more clingy and 'friendly' than usual.

Itachi would've been lying if he said that he didn't enjoy this at all. It was great to see Deidara relaxed like that; he only hoped he wouldn't be too much of an emotional wreck later. Alcohol could be tricky, especially for first time drinkers.

First he drove Sasuke and Naruto back home. When these two had gotten out of the car, he lowered his window to talk to Sasuke. Naruto was clinging to him, obviously even hornier than normal. Sasuke was pushing him away, trying to concentrate on what Itachi was saying.

"Just tell mom I might sleep at Deidara's place, all right? I just don't want her to worry."

"All right," Sasuke nodded. "You two take care."

"Yeah, night," Itachi said before driving away.

After a moment, Deidara turned to him and said, "Hey we didn't end up talking about the website."

"We can talk about it another time."

"Was it just an excuse to see me?" The blonde teased.

"Yes and no," Itachi answered, smiling, "I really do want to make you a website."

"…Why are you being so nice to me?"

The raven glanced at him, "Why do you think?"

Deidara blushed and glanced away. "Hey not cool… you like… answered my question with a question…"

Itachi said nothing. When they arrived to Deidara's apartment building he stopped the car and got out to help him walk and make sure he was okay. He seemed extremely tired and the alcohol in his system probably wasn't helping. So they went inside and Itachi helped him all the way to his bed.

But Deidara sat up and looked at him. "You wanna stay a little?"

Something in the tone of his voice revealed that he was afraid to be alone. And the fact that he longed for Itachi's presence made him happy, because he longed for his just as much; of course he wanted to stay.

"Sure."

He took off his coat and threw it on the back of the chair, and then he sat on the bed with Deidara.

"What do you wanna do?" The blonde asked him shyly. It seemed the alcohol hadn't changed him that much after all.

"I don't know," Itachi shrugged, "we could watch a movie like last time but you're just gonna fall asleep…"

"No," Deidara said defensively, "I'm not that tired. You can choose one…"

Itachi nodded, amused, and got up to look at his impressive collection of movies; mostly comedies, as expected, but also a couple action movies. He picked one up and showed his choice to Deidara.

"I've heard this one was good."

By 'heard' he meant Sasuke had told him it was good.

Deidara looked offended. "You've never seen Inglorious Bastards?"

"No."

"Well of course it's good! It's fuckin' brilliant."

He brought his laptop on the bed and started the movie. They sat really close to watch it – they had no choice since it was a single sized mattress. Not that Itachi was complaining.

Ten minutes later, Deidara fell asleep on his shoulder. Itachi let out a quiet chuckle, and placed his arm around the smaller guy to pull him closer. He watched the first hour of the movie, and actually he was really into it, but he decided to stop it anyway. They could watch the rest together another time, preferably when Deidara wasn't sleeping.

While Itachi turned off the computer, and went to put it back on the desk, Deidara woke up and shivered from the loss of warmth.

"It's finished already?" He frowned, confused, while rubbing his eyes.

Itachi returned to sit on the bed, and smiled, "No silly, you fell asleep. I watched it for a while, but we can watch the rest together. It's really great so far."

"Told ya." He smiled but his voice was so sleepy.

"So…" the raven hesitated. "I guess I'll go then. I'll let you sleep…"

The other started fumbling with some loose blonde strands nervously, "Itachi… um… d'you think… Do you wanna stay…?"

"I thought you'd never ask."

Deidara bit his lip, "There's not much room though…"

"I don't care," Itachi replied.

He blushed slightly, and then cleared his throat. "Do you need anything? I mean, clothes to sleep, or a towel if you want to shower…?"

"No I'm good. I'll sleep in my boxers if you don't mind."

Deidara's blush deepened. "Yeah sure… I mean, I don't mind."

The raven smirked, and stripped to his black boxer briefs casually. He wasn't intentionally making a show out of it, but he could tell Deidara was enjoying it. Well, that was kinda the point. Itachi wanted to tease him a little, but he wanted to wait for Deidara to make the first moves. Itachi was afraid of his reactions if he pushed things too far, so he was willing to wait.

Besides, he still needed to open up so that Itachi could actually try to help him overcome his issues. Like what he had heard earlier, the conversation between him and Sasori, about the whole being gay but not wanting to be with a guy thing, what the hell was that all about? Itachi needed to know.

He untied his long black hair, ran his fingers through it briefly, and finally sat on the bed again. As for Deidara, he got up and went to turn off the light. Itachi was a little disappointed that he wouldn't get to see him strip. Really, that wasn't fair. But he supposed, all in good time…

Itachi shifted more comfortably in the bed, crawling under the sheets. Deidara quickly took off his jeans and hoodie, keeping his tank top and boxers on, and joined him. He curled up to his side, his back facing Itachi. They weren't touching, but let's just say if Itachi moved one inch towards Deidara he would brush against his body.

"Thanks for staying," Deidara whispered.

"Thanks for letting me stay."

"…Good night."

"Night," Itachi said back, hardly containing all the emotions rushing through his mind and body, and his urge to just reach out and hold him…

Deidara's breathing soon evened. Poor guy was clearly exhausted. It took much longer for Itachi to fall asleep. He couldn't help but caress Deidara's body a little. Just his soft hair, the curve of his waist and hip… But he felt like he was taking advantage, so he forced himself to stop.

He eventually managed to fall asleep, lulled by the sound of the wind outside, and Deidara's breathing.

Itachi's sleep was disturbed a few hours later – he supposed it was about four or five in the morning – when Deidara started getting agitated. He let out moans of pain, and fear. Itachi was about to try to wake him up since he was obviously making a nightmare, but actually Deidara woke up with a start a few seconds later. Panting, he pulled himself up slightly on his elbow, his back still facing Itachi. He probably thought the raven was still asleep. He reached for the sharp scissors on his bedside table with a trembling hand.

"Deidara?" Itachi whispered hesitantly.

The blonde gasped again, dropping the scissors, and turned around. "Itachi… you're awake…" He said and his voice sounded so weak… Itachi just wanted to comfort him so badly.

"Yeah… what's going on? Bad dream?" He asked; he didn't want to talk about the whole cutting issue just yet. Deidara was too vulnerable right now.

Deidara slowly turned to face Itachi, but he averted his eyes.

"Yeah…" He answered.

Itachi whispered, "Come here," and wrapped his arm around the other's thin waist, pulling him slightly closer. "Do you wanna talk about it?"

At least Deidara didn't push him away. Actually he seemed comforted by his touch. But he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"All right," the raven said, again in a low, soft voice. "You can go back to sleep then." He kept his arm around his waist, his hand stroking his long hair gently.

After a moment, Deidara locked lidded blue eyes with Itachi's dark orbs. "I'm sorry I'm always such an emotional wreck…" He whispered in a pained voice. "I… I'll try to fix it."

"I wanna help you." Itachi replied softly.

"But… what if… what if I can't give you… what you want?" Deidara asked hesitantly, in a voice so low Itachi wasn't sure if he heard properly.

Itachi wasn't sure if he was talking about a relationship, or sex, or something else, but he decided to brush it off for now. They were both tired, and it wasn't the best time to talk about those things. Besides, Itachi didn't want to _talk_ about such things. He wanted them to just happen – if they were meant to, that is.

So he simply replied, "Shh… don't worry about that. Go back to sleep."


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

Deidara woke up first. Itachi's arm was still around him, and his other arm was folded under his head. He looked peaceful, and so beautiful. Deidara held his breath, and reached with his hand to caress the silk soft black hair. The contrast with his pale-white skin was almost fascinating.

Suddenly long black eyelashes fluttered, and Itachi opened his dark eyes.

"Hey," he said sleepily.

"Hey," Deidara said back. He pulled his hand away quickly. Itachi smiled.

"Did you sleep well, after the… you know…?" Itachi asked as he pulled away slightly, removing his arm from around Deidara.

"Yeah," he answered. He sat up, and frowned, bringing a hand to his forehead. "But now I have a headache…"

"You might be hangover, I guess…"

Right, Deidara thought, with all that beer… And he'd invited Itachi to stay the night – something he definitely wouldn't have done sober. He could also remember his nightmare all too well, unfortunately. As if Sasori actually sexually harassing him hadn't been enough, he'd had a dream of Sasori raping him in the employees' room.

Frowning, he glanced down at his arms. He wasn't very subtle, wearing his black arm warmers even to sleep. And surely Itachi had heard him drop the scissors during the night. He probably knew that he cut himself already. But it was still better to hide his arms – it wasn't a pretty sight after all.

"What's wrong?" Itachi asked, sitting up.

"Ah… well, nothing… Just, you know…" he shrugged, glancing at Itachi, the very handsome and hot, and shirtless, Itachi. "I'm glad you're here," he finished, blushing.

He was doing that a lot – that is, blushing – and it was really annoying, but he couldn't help it around Itachi. He couldn't fool himself into thinking that they were just friends anymore. Friends didn't caress each other's hair constantly, or exchange intense, tight hugs, or sleep in each other's arms. But that was Deidara's limit. He was glad Itachi hadn't crossed it yet but… How long could it possibly last? This thought made him all depressed. He didn't want to stop seeing Itachi, but at the same time, he couldn't even consider having sex with a guy.

"Don't lie to me," Itachi pleaded, "just tell me what's wrong…"

"No I'm okay it's probably just the hangover, like you said."

But the raven-haired male wasn't buying it. He sighed and got up, while Deidara's eyes widened when he noticed despite himself the obvious hard-on in his boxer.

"I'm sorry," Itachi chuckled and ran his fingers through his hair, embarrassed, "I hadn't slept in the same bed with someone in a long time and… well," he shrugged helplessly. "I was gonna go take a shower… if that's okay?"

"Sure, if you need anything, just tell me…" Deidara bit his lip to repress a smile.

Only Itachi could manage to make this situation not too awkward, Deidara thought. But damn, just now, almost naked and slightly embarrassed like that, Itachi had looked sinfully good… Deidara himself was troubled.

He shook his head and, while Itachi was in the shower, he opened his laptop. It was pretty much always the first thing he did in the morning when he wasn't working. He put on some music, checked his emails, his youtube subscriptions, the usual. Finally he checked out Silver's facebook page.

Konan took care of their website. She often posted pictures of customers' new tattoos and piercings, and sometimes updates about special sales, or t-shirts, stuff like that.

Deidara had taken a picture of the rose tattoo he'd done for that girl with the half-shaved hair. He supposed he could ask Konan to upload it on their facebook page. He also decided he would ask Itachi if he could take a picture of his tattoo as well.

The raven walked out of the bathroom with wet hair still dripping on his shoulders, and a towel wrapped around his waist. He was so hot it wasn't even possible not to stare.

"I'll take a shower, too," Deidara said quickly when he snapped out of it, "You can use my laptop if you want. This is um…" he glanced back at the screen, "Silver's facebook page. I don't know if I should have a website of my own, or if I should just make another page like that just for me?"

Itachi frowned slightly, looking at the computer screen over his shoulder. He smelled like Deidara's body soap and shampoo of course, but somehow he found Itachi smelled so nice and unique anyway. Deidara cleared his throat and got up quickly, scratching the back of his hair.

"Anyway, I'll just…"

Itachi spoke at the same time, "You could have both… You could have a link on that facebook page to your website, and vice versa. Thing is, what I can do with a real website, is post all of your designs and protect the images so that no one can just copy them," he explained.

"Oh, okay," Deidara nodded, "yeah I guess that would be awesome. So… I'll be right back!"

"All right."

He picked up the first pair of clean jeans he found, with a black long sleeve shirt and clean boxers, and made his way to the bathroom. After a quick, but soothing shower, Deidara returned to his bedroom. Itachi was already dressed, with his hair tied up in a loose ponytail, and he was sitting at his chair in front of the computer.

"How's your headache?" He asked.

"Better," the blonde answered, sitting on his bed.

"Great," Itachi smiled, "So I still have like, three hours before class. Do you feel like eating some breakfast?"

"Yeah sure," the blonde smiled back, "I don't have much stuff here, but I could just go out and buy something…"

"I'm not really picky," Itachi shrugged.

So the raven went to the kitchen – which was technically just the living room corner – and opened the fridge, taking a look. Deidara bit his lip, embarrassed. There really wasn't much choice in there – some bread, juice, milk, that was about it. Since he lived alone, he almost never cooked. Most of the time he just ordered from a restaurant or bought frozen meals at the grocery store.

"How come your fridge is so empty?"

Deidara shrugged helplessly. They ended up eating a really basic breakfast – peanut butter toasts and some juice. They decided to watch the rest of the movie, so Deidara brought his laptop, and they ate on the couch while watching it.

When they were both done eating Itachi casually threw his arm around Deidara's shoulders, pulling him closer. Deidara was a little bit uneasy, and he was tempted to ask Itachi if he was aware that they weren't actually boyfriends. But he kept quiet. Truth was, he was enjoying this. He felt so conflicted… He wasn't comfortable enough to be in a relationship with a guy, but how could he admit this to Itachi without breaking what they had?

He slowly relaxed as he leaned against the taller guy, though. What was the point in freaking out? It wasn't like Itachi was actually trying anything, like Sasori had done…

So he decided to just go with the flow for now, and enjoy it as much as he could while it lasted… But surely it wouldn't last very long, he thought sadly. At some point Itachi would get tired of waiting for him…

It turned out Itachi really enjoyed the movie. This made Deidara happy, and he promised they would watch more Quentin Tarantino movies together – even though the others weren't really similar to Inglorious Bastards.

"We'll see if you like them anyway," Deidara finished, shrugging slightly.

Itachi smiled as they went to stand by the door. "Thanks again for letting me stay tonight. Honestly, I didn't think you would…"

Deidara scratched his hair, glancing down shyly, "Yeah I think it was just because I was a little drunk though…"

Itachi reached with his hand to cup his chin, and lifted his face. Deidara looked up at him with wide blue eyes. They were standing really close. He could see all the details of Itachi's handsome, perfect face. The raven was about two or three inches taller, but he would only have to tilt his head down slightly to kiss him. Deidara realized he wanted it. He knew he shouldn't, but he did. He wanted Itachi's full, pale lips to touch his…

But Itachi didn't. Instead he smiled and hugged him tight.

Deidara returned the hug, but frowned. Was Itachi… trying to tease him?

Probably.

Well that explained a lot. He was waiting for Deidara to make the moves, then…

Somehow this made the blonde feel even more confused about his feelings, and what he wanted… He had no idea what to do, or how to act.

They pulled away reluctantly, but it was time for Itachi to go. Before he left, he glanced at Deidara one last time, a worried look on his beautiful face.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I… the headache's back…" he lied.

Itachi saw through it of course. He always saw through his lies. Either he was very perceptive, or Deidara was a very bad liar. Probably both. But, as always, Itachi didn't push it. He simply made a little smile, and placed a hand behind Deidara's neck, entangling his fingers in his hair. Then he leaned closer and placed a soft kiss on his forehead. He caressed his hair briefly as he pulled his hand away. After that he left.

Deidara slowly brought a hand to touch his forehead, almost disbelievingly.

…

For the rest of the week they didn't see each other, but Deidara received a lot of texts from Itachi, and he actually answered all of them this time. Mostly Itachi was complaining that he had a shit load of school work, and that he wished he could see him more often but that he didn't have time for now.

On Wednesday Deidara talked with Yahiko in private. He explained the situation with Sasori. Yahiko reacted very seriously and professionally, but in the end he decided not to fire Sasori. He did call him right away to give him a serious warning though. If Sasori tried anything again, he was automatically fired.

The next day, both Yahiko and Sasori had the day off, so it was only Deidara, Konan and Nagato. The two guys mostly spent their day listening to Konan talking about her upcoming party on Friday night. Her parents were leaving for the weekend, and they had strictly forbidden her to have a party, so of course she was throwing one.

In the evening as they were closing up the store, Nagato had left a bit earlier, so Konan and Deidara were alone.

"You're coming to my party, right?" She asked.

He stopped counting the cash register to stare at her, "You serious?"

She sighed, "Look, I just think we should try and be friends again. We're co-workers Dei. And besides, I'm kinda… seeing Yahiko again, you know, outside of work, so yeah…"

He smiled, sincerely happy for her, "That's great Konan."

She smiled back, "Thanks! Well there's nothing official yet but… we'll see. I used to think it was lame to get back with an ex but… with Yahiko I think it's worth a try."

"Hope it works out for you two."

"Yeah…" She hesitated, leaning on the counter next to him. "He told me about what Sasori… hum… did to you…"

"Well he didn't actually do anything but…"

"But he wanted to," Konan finished for him, "I wanted to say I'm sorry. It's kinda my fault… I was still pissed at you and… I told him you were gay for sure, and that maybe he had a shot. I'm really sorry, I had no idea… Anyway…"

"Don't worry about it," he said, eager to change the subject.

Her smile returned, "Well, I have the day off tomorrow so… I'll see you at my party? Don't worry, Sasori won't be there. So don't ditch!"

"Yeah okay," he chuckled. But then he frowned as she put her coat on. "Wait, you're gonna make me close alone again?"

"Oh come on you're almost finished!" She whined, "I'm really tired I wanna go home… See you tomorrow!" She exclaimed as she quickly walked out of the store, before he could protest further.

He shook his head in disbelief as he finished counting the money. Then he turned off all the lights, and stepped out of the store, locking the door behind him. As he walked outside he zipped up his hoodie, shivering in the freezing cold air. Maybe Itachi was right, and he should buy a warmer coat or something…

Thinking about Itachi, he took his cell out of his pocket and dialed his number.

Itachi picked up at the first ring. "Hey what's up?"

"Well… I just finished work…"

"How was it?"

"Kinda boring… but Konan invited me to this party tomorrow night…" He said as he stood at the bus stop, shifting from one leg to another to try to warm himself up.

"I thought she was still pissed at you."

"Apparently not… she's into Yahiko again so…"

"Again? They're exes?"

"Ya, she moved on already, can you believe it?" He said in a fake offended tone.

"You must be devastated."

"Totally."

"So why are you telling me this? Oh, believe me I'm really glad you called, it's a well needed break from my stupid project but what does that have to do with me…?"

"Well do you wanna go?"

"To her party? You sure it's not private or anything?"

"No she always invites her hundreds of facebook friends... And some of them are complete strangers so…"

"Ah… facebook. Something that's so not missing in my life."

"Yeah it's weird how you're a computer freak person and don't even have a facebook."

"Hey haven't you seen that movie, the Social Network? The co-founder of facebook himself didn't even know how to edit his profile so I'm not that bad."

Deidara chuckled. He switched hands to hold his cell phone because the other one was frozen, so he shoved it in his pocket.

"So do you wanna come or not? I could even meet you at your place and we'd go together. She lives a few blocks away from your house so…"

"I'd really love to, but I have so much work…"

"On a Friday night?"

"It's gonna sound lame, but I do have a strict schedule, and I was hoping to get some work done tomorrow evening…"

"You're such a nerd." Deidara tried to hide his disappointment, "Fine, whatever…"

"No, wait, I didn't say I wouldn't come. I just won't stay long."

He smiled, "Cool. Ah… finally the damn bus is here!"

"Deidara have you been standing out in the cold in just that damn hoodie of yours again?"

"…"

Deidara went to sit in a free seat at the back of the bus. Itachi took his silence as a yes – which was the case, anyway.

"I'll have to buy you a winter coat."

"No! Stop buying me stuff!"

"Well as a matter of fact I don't want you to freeze to death, so…"

Deidara smiled, "I really miss you…"

The words had just come out. His mind hadn't even produced any rational thought before speaking them. But he couldn't bring himself to regret them. It was the truth, after all. And it was less intimidating to say on the phone than in person.

"I miss you too. But, I'll see you tomorrow all right? Just go to the party, have fun with your friends, and I'll be there as soon as I'm done with my pain in the ass of a project."

"All right, cool."

"I'm glad you called. And thanks for inviting me."

"Well I want you to be there so…"

He could almost hear Itachi's smile through the phone as he said, "I can't wait, then. Good night Deidara."

"Good night…"

He hung up, and a smile lingered on his lips all the way back home.

But later, in the middle of the night, he was unable to fall asleep, and anxiety was almost suffocating. Maybe he shouldn't have invited Itachi to the party. Maybe he would want to have sex. What if he'd given him false hopes?

He wasn't feeling so well. He actually pondered calling Itachi, or simply texting him, to tell him he'd changed his mind and wouldn't go to the party after all. But he didn't – mostly because it was 4 in the morning.

He was so scared and nervous all of a sudden. He had a bad feeling about the party, and it wouldn't stop haunting him…

…

On Friday evening, as he sat in the back seat of Yahiko's car, he finally took his decision. He wouldn't text Itachi to tell him not to come. He would drink some alcohol at the party, relax a little, and then when Itachi would get there… he'd be a little drunk, therefore more light-headed and comfortable… And, maybe they would kiss, maybe even take things further… Deidara breathed out shakily, trying to calm himself. Maybe it would be just fine… If he was drunk enough… Just enough to feel comfortable, to forget about his issues…

Oh who was he kidding? He couldn't do this. He couldn't have sex with a guy, not even Itachi. Fuck no. No matter how nice and gentle the guy was, he just couldn't bring himself to be okay with it.

God he was so stressed out. Now he was having second thoughts again.

But Yahiko parked in Konan's entryway. They were already here. Deidara took a deep breath before stepping out of the car. He had to at least try to overcome his fears…

When they got inside, Konan's little brother of doom was there to greet him, as always.

"Hey! It's my sister's loser gay ex!" He exclaimed mockingly, making Nagato laugh.

Yahiko glared at the other red-head, and he went quiet. Well at least one of his friends wasn't making fun of him like a childish asshole…

Konan walked up to them with a plastic cup in her hand. "Guys! You made it! What took so long?" She exclaimed, evidently a little intoxicated.

Yahiko laughed lightly, "Hum, Konan, we were working…"

"Oh, right!" She laughed.

If getting drunk would make him this idiotic, Deidara wasn't so sure he wanted to anymore…

Konan proceeded to introduce them to all her friends who showed up for the party – mostly girls she still kept in touch with from high school. With her brother, Deidara, Nagato and Yahiko, they were fifteen people. Not exactly an open house crazy party, but oh well…

Deidara stuck to his antisocial self, sitting in a corner and just watching drunken people making fools of themselves. Some girls seemed to think Konan's living room was a dance floor. And their moves weren't so exceptional. But then Deidara thought, he shouldn't be mocking them; they were actually having fun, unlike him…

He tried to appreciate the dance music. But seriously, the lyrics were awful. People proclaiming they wanted to fuck so badly or whatever… Ugh. Taking a deep breath, Deidara made his way to the kitchen. Nagato was making drinks for Konan and two other girls.

"What is it?" Deidara asked his ex.

"Long island!" She laughed for no reason, "Tastes like ice tea!"

When the three girls got their drinks, Nagato made one for Deidara as well.

"Here, you should drink something, try to have fun for a change."

Deidara rolled his eyes, but took the offered plastic cup anyway. It was full of a suspicious mixture. But then he tasted it, and had to admit it didn't taste that bad.

Itachi would probably arrive in a few minutes, he thought. So, he decided, here goes nothing, and drank all of it at once. He made a face, swallowed hard, and put the plastic cup down on the counter.

"Can I have another one?" He asked Nagato.

The red-head was looking at him with wide eyes. But then he laughed, "Hell yeah man that's what I'm talking about!"

Thirty minutes later – and two more 'long island' cocktails later – Deidara was drunk out of his mind. It was nothing like after going to that pub with Itachi, his brother and Naruto. He was laughing, all the time. He was tripping, falling everywhere. He was making retarded dance moves with the girls. He was smoking weed with the few other guys at the party.

At some point he drank tequila shots with Konan, Yahiko, Nagato and a few others.

His cell phone buzzed with a message from Itachi saying, _"I'm sorry I'm gonna be late."_

He shrugged and continued dancing with the others. He didn't mind that the music had stupid lyrics anymore – actually he thought it sounded quite good now.

At some point though realization hit him, and he stepped away from the middle of the living room, aka improvised dance floor, and he blinked, looking at the people he'd been dancing and having fun with only a minute ago. He frowned, wondering what the hell he was doing, getting drunk like that… This wasn't like him.

He felt sick, and hurriedly made his way to the bathroom. He barely had time to shut the door, and, at least making sure he was holding his hair properly, threw up in the toilet. Then he flushed it and collapsed on the cold tile floor, still feeling horrible. But one of the girls knocked on the door; she needed to use the bathroom. So he got up, half-stumbled out of the room, and then he made his way upstairs.

He locked himself up in the other bathroom, where he was less likely to be bothered. He crawled onto the floor and leaned against the wall, right next to the toilet seat, just in case…

He checked his cell. It was only midnight. They had gotten here at ten… He wondered what was in those drinks that had gotten him drunk so fast. In any case, he wasn't feeling well at all, and he tried to send a message to Itachi – tried being the keyword here. He was so drunk and his fingers were so damn clumsy. He eventually managed to type, _"Don't come."_

He let his hand fall on the floor, still holding his cell phone. He leaned his head back against the wall and closed his eyes. He could still hear the dance music from here. The loud bass filled him and he felt rather dizzy.

Also, he felt very pathetic and miserable. How stupid of him to think that getting drunk would make him feel more confident with Itachi. Now, he really hoped the raven would get his text and wouldn't come here. It was no use, Deidara wasn't the right person for him. Itachi could have anyone, why was he wasting his time with a socially awkward person with stupid issues..?

He realized he was crying. Well, alcohol amplified emotions didn't it? Great, just what he needed. Deidara eyed the razor blade sitting on the ledge of the bath tub. Maybe he could just use it and feel better, numb his feelings at least a little…


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

At midnight Itachi finally took a study break. He checked his cell phone, and frowned as he read Deidara's text, _"Don't come."_ He replied, asking why, but Deidara didn't text back.

So a few minutes later he tried to call him. Still nothing; Itachi got worried. And he didn't even have Konan's phone number, or any of the others' for that matter. He knew Sasori wasn't going to that party, Deidara had told him, but still… What if something bad happened?

In a previous text Deidara had sent Konan's address, and explained that the party was starting at about 10, so Itachi supposed it wasn't nearly over yet.

He shut down his computer, put on his black trench coat, and then quietly made his way outside and to his car. It only took three minutes to get there. He parked in the street since the driveway was full already.

When he knocked at the door, Nagato came to open and let him in, and then Itachi realized, the party was pretty much over. Faint dance music could still be heard, but only three people, Nagato included, were still awake. The others were passed out on the floor – some in sleeping bags, and some simply lying down on the carpet of the living room. He couldn't see Deidara anywhere.

"Yeah you're kinda late," Nagato chuckled drunkenly, "but hey you can come have a drink with us…" He put his hand on Itachi's shoulder, leading him toward the couch where two girls were sitting and drinking.

"Hey you're hot," one of the drunken girls told Itachi.

"But maybe he's also gay!" The other girl chuckled, "All the guys to this party are gay…"

Itachi raised a brow, and then turned to look at Nagato.

"Where are the others?"

"Konan and Yahiko are sleeping in her bedroom…" He said, "Deidara… I don't know… Probably sleeping somewhere…"

"Oh is that the guy with long blonde hair?" The first girl asked, "Cause I think he's still passed out in the bathroom upstairs… With my friend," she pointed at one of the people sleeping on the floor, "we needed to use the bathroom and there was someone puking in this one, so we went upstairs, and then we managed to unlock the door using this," she showed the tiny hair clip in her bangs. "It was like, out of a spying movie or something…" She laughed.

But Itachi had stopped listening to her. He was already on his way upstairs.

He indeed found Deidara lying down on the cold tiled floor of the bathroom. The door was already opened slightly, and there was another guy too, rolled up in a blanket and sleeping in the bath tub, with a joint tucked behind his ear. Itachi pretty much ignored him, and sat down next to Deidara.

He was pale, and there were tear marks on his face. His hair was all loose and messy, and he was curled up in a ball, his body shivering. His cell phone was on the floor, and as Itachi picked it up he saw that the battery was dead. Something else caught his eye, Deidara's long sleeve shirt was dark grey, but on the sleeves it was even darker, as if wet…

"Fuck…" he whispered as he realized it was blood. He also noticed the razor beside the bath tub amongst some other products.

He rolled Deidara on his back and then he rolled up his sleeves. He let out a relieved sigh when he saw that the fresh cuts weren't too deep. He would just need to clean it up and bandage it, and he would be just fine. Physically, that is…

He slid an arm under his shoulders and the other under his knees, ready to pick him up, but then Deidara woke up. Itachi pulled away.

"How are you feeling?" He asked.

The blonde didn't answer. He sat up, and his face turned livid. He turned around and threw up in the toilet. Itachi held his hair and put a comforting hand on his back.

"Go away…" Deidara choked out, "Why did you come? I didn't want you to… to see me like this."

He coughed a few more times, still bent over the toilet, but nothing else was coming out. So he eventually pulled back weakly. He would have crawled back onto the floor, but Itachi took his arm and helped him to his feet.

"No…" he whispered, crying, "Just go…"

"I'm not going anywhere without you all right? Now can you walk?"

"Yeah I'm fine," Deidara said, wiping his teary eyes in frustration.

He pulled away from Itachi, and took a few steps. But then his face became really pale again, and he leaned on the wall for support, breathing hard… And then he collapsed into Itachi's arms.

"Sure you are…" The raven muttered sarcastically.

He scooped him up into his arms and went to walk down the stairs carefully. At least the male weighed next to nothing, and besides Itachi was really strong. The three people on the couch looked at him funny. But at least Nagato snapped out of it, and offered his help.

The red-head opened the front door for Itachi, then he followed him outside and opened the car door so that Itachi could sit Deidara in the passenger seat.

"Thanks," he said.

"Uh… no problem," Nagato said. "You're gonna bring him home, or…?"

"Yeah I don't usually let my friends sleep on bathroom floors…"

Nagato just shrugged and went back inside. Itachi sighed, annoyed, and walked around the car to take place in the driver seat. Deidara didn't wake up during the short drive.

It was a little complicated to carry him while getting inside the house as quietly as possible, and then upstairs to his bedroom, but he managed. He put him down softly on his large bed, and he immediately got rid of his stained shirt. He went to the bathroom to get the few things he needed – some disinfectant and bandages.

Deidara didn't wake up either as he treated his injured arms. Itachi hoped he was ready, because in the morning, badly hungover or not, he would get a hell of a speech…

When his arms were cleaned and wrapped up in bandages, he went to put the stuff back in the bathroom. After that he returned to his bedroom and closed the door. He proceeded to take off Deidara's pants – otherwise he wouldn't be sleeping very comfortably in skinny jeans with his wallet and keys in the pockets – leaving him in just his boxers. Then he placed the sheets and comforter up to his shoulders. Deidara moaned in his sleep, and turned to sleep on his side.

Itachi also stripped to his boxers and crawled in his bed. It was king-sized, therefore way big enough for the both of them. But Itachi placed himself in the middle of the mattress to be closer to Deidara.

He sighed repeatedly as he tried to find sleep. He was disappointed in Deidara, but at the same time, he didn't want to judge him before knowing what had truly happened at that party.

…

When Deidara woke up he felt sick, weak, and a little dizzy. He was sleeping in a much comfier bed than his own, though. He lifted himself up on his elbows painfully, glancing around. He was in Itachi's bedroom. The laptop computer was open on the working desk, with some documents and notebooks all around it.

The door suddenly opened to Itachi himself. He was wearing blue jeans and black t-shirt, with his hair loosely tied, and he had a glass of water in his hand. Without a word, he closed the door behind him, and went to put the glass down on the bedside table. Then he sat in his computer chair and rolled it so that he was closer to the bed, facing him.

"How're you feeling?" Itachi finally asked, crossing his arms and leaning back in his seat.

Deidara sat up completely, hardly repressing a pained moan. His whole body hurt. He leaned back into the pillows, pulling the sheets up to cover himself.

"Not so good, I suppose," Itachi sighed, "So, what do you remember?"

Blurry flashes of people dancing, and Deidara actually dancing with them, came back to his painful head. He cleared his throat slightly, and started talking in a rasp voice.

"I wanted to… to get drunk before you got there. Well, not too much, but…" He paused, taking a sip of water.

Itachi frowned, "Why?"

"To be more confident I guess... I just had three drinks though, and maybe a shooter… so I didn't think it was that bad."

"Just three?" Itachi tilted his head slightly, "Well, what was it anyway?"

"Konan said…" He hesitated as he remembered the name of the cocktail, "Long island."

Itachi chuckled in understanding. "Do you know what's in that?"

"No…"

"You can have gin, whiskey, tequila, rum and vodka all together."

"Shit…" Deidara muttered as he felt his stomach churn.

"Well depending on the recipe you add some other stuff, coke, orange juice, whatever, but you see my point."

"Yeah."

"Do you remember what happened after that?"

"I… danced. If you can call it dancing… I… after that I just went in the bathroom cause I felt sick. I don't remember much… I…"

His blue eyes widened as he remembered something about cutting himself in the bathroom. He quickly glanced at his arms under the sheets. They were bandaged. He looked at Itachi. His face was expressionless.

"Deidara you're gonna have to stop cutting yourself."

The blonde swallowed hard, fighting back tears, and glanced away.

Itachi continued, "I want you to tell me why…"

"I can't," he replied.

"Why not?" He asked softly.

"It's private," Deidara whispered stubbornly.

"You don't have to go into details here. Just tell me, what makes you feel the need to cut yourself? What emotions… what thoughts?"

Deidara couldn't help but snap at him, "What, you're a therapist now?"

Itachi held his gaze, "Would you rather I make you to see a real one?"

The smaller male's shoulders slouched and after a moment of silence, he whispered, "It's… usually because of the nightmares… Or when I feel really shitty… About myself. When I remember… stuff that happened to me. And… doing this helps me calm down. It's like a reflex."

Itachi got up and came to sit by his side on the bed. He locked eyes with him intensely. "I want you to stop. Whenever you wake up in the middle of the night, feeling terrible after some nightmare, I want you to call me, no matter how late. Do you understand?"

Deidara's heart squeezed painfully in his chest. Why was Itachi being so kind, when he didn't even deserve it? A few tears rolled down his cheeks.

"Why are you being…" he said in a broken voice, "so nice to me?"

"Cause I care about you, and I want to help you. Get that information in your head and stop asking that question already. Now, do you want to take a shower?"

"…Yeah. Shit, wait, what time is it?"

"It's almost one. Don't worry; I called at your work already. Naruto gave me the number," he explained.

"Thanks," Deidara muttered. He felt guilty that Itachi had to do all this for him.

Itachi got up and walked out of the room. When he came back he had a towel in his hands. He handed it to Deidara.

"You can cover yourself with this while you go to the bathroom. I put your clothes in the laundry machine…"

"Thanks," Deidara whispered, embarrassed.

"It's just that I wouldn't want my brother to see you naked and fantasize about you."

Deidara rolled his eyes, but he got up and wrapped the towel around his waist. He still had his boxers on, so it wouldn't have been such a big deal. But he supposed Itachi had wanted to lighten up the mood with this little joke, and Deidara was thankful for that.

He went to the bathroom, which was almost right in front of Itachi's bedroom, actually. This simple room was enough to impress him. The decoration was in tints of lavender, emerald green and white, and there were a few plants in the corner. There was a large bath tub that looked kind of like an interior spa, actually, and also a shower stall. So he went in there and started washing himself. He took off the bandages; he supposed Itachi would want to make clean ones afterwards.

There was a rather wide selection of shampoo bottles and other cleaning and beauty products, for the whole family, he supposed. So he just chose one randomly. It didn't smell as good as Itachi's hair, so he figured it wasn't his. He enjoyed the warm water, it was cleansing for his sore and hurt body. It was indeed hurt, not only his arms, he also had scratches and bruises, mostly on his legs. He'd probably been stumbling and falling everywhere while he was drunk, he thought darkly. How stupid he'd been to drink those strong cocktails really fast…

When he was done he looked at himself in the mirror. He was a little pale, but other than that he looked okay. Thanks to Itachi, of course, he thought with another pang in his chest. If he hadn't picked him up he would've probably slept on the bathroom floor all night long… He was like his guardian angel or something – except Deidara felt like he really didn't deserve it.

He sighed, picked up his boxers - but didn't put them back on - and wrapped the towel around his hips. When he returned to Itachi's bedroom, the raven was working on his computer. But the bed was made neatly, and a little pile of clothes rested on it.

"You can put that on while your clothes are in the dryer…" Itachi said, and added teasingly, "Don't worry I won't look."

Deidara chuckled, closed the door, and proceeded to get dressed. Itachi lent him some comfy black sweats. They were a little bit too big, but it felt comforting wearing those clothes. The fabric was soft, and just the fact that they belonged to Itachi somehow warmed his heart.

He sat on the bed, and looking towards Itachi, he saw that he was playing Portal 2 on his computer.

"I thought you had a shit load of school work?" He asked teasingly.

"Study break," Itachi said defensively.

"…Right."

The raven paused his game and turned to look at him. He seemed thoughtful for a moment, and then he got up and walked out of the room. Deidara frowned, but Itachi came back a few seconds later with a hair brush.

"What're you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Itachi replied as he sat on the bed behind him, and started brushing his long hair.

"You really have an obsession or something?"

"Does it bother you?"

"No…"

"Then stop whining."

"I'm not whining…"

When Itachi finished brushing his hair, he returned to the bathroom, this time to get some clean bandages. Deidara was embarrassed as he looked down at his arms.

"Pretty gross huh?" He said shyly.

Itachi didn't reply. But when he was all done, he locked eyes with him.

"If you can't stop doing this for you, then stop for me," he said.

Deidara's lips parted, but no sound came out. He simply nodded, his eyes still locked with Itachi's.

"Promise," Itachi insisted.

"Yeah… I promise."

…

On Wednesday evening Itachi came home late. He'd stayed at the gym longer than usual, training, and using that time to think about everything that happened with Deidara lately. He was doing a lot of progress, and he wanted to keep it up. They were texting each other everyday, and talking over the phone every night. Itachi enjoyed those moments, he didn't even care if it cut back on his sleep. Itachi was kind of tired to wait for Deidara to make the first move, though. It was kind of taking too long, and Itachi was craving some more… well, intimacy.

So he decided, when they talked tonight, he would invite Deidara to go out during the weekend, just the two of them, so that he could make a move, maybe kiss him, maybe more.

The rest of his family had already finished eating dinner, and his parents were watching some drama show in the living room. Naruto and Sasuke were in their bedroom, probably doing homework – or fucking. Itachi went to sit with his parents.

When the show cut to the commercial, Minato turned to look at him.

"Did you want to ask us something?"

"Why do you automatically think I want to ask you something? Maybe I just want to spend some time with you guys."

"Oh, great," he smiled.

"Actually I did want to ask something."

"I knew it," his smile disappeared, and he pretended to be wounded.

Itachi laughed, "It's about the Christmas vacations this year…"

"What about it?"

Every year since Minato was married to Mikoto, he rented a house in Miami for the whole family to spend a week there for Christmas.

"Can I invite Deidara?" He asked, cutting straight to the point.

Mikoto perked up, "Is he your boyfriend now?"

"Not yet."

She smiled, "Oh! Itachi, you're gonna have your first boyfriend soon."

Itachi ignored her and looked intently at his step-father.

"Well sure you can bring him," Minato shrugged, "No problem. He seems nice, and I trust your judgment."

"Thanks Minato I appreciate."

But his step-dad didn't reply; the commercial break was finished and his beloved tv show had returned. Itachi went to his room.

Later that night, he was lying down in his bed, reading some sci-fi novel his mother had bought recently. He didn't want to go to sleep even though it was almost 2 am. He was waiting for Deidara's phone call, which usually happened around this time. It had become some sort of ritual.

Sure enough, five minutes later his cell phone started vibrating.

"Hi," Itachi smiled.

"Hey! Did I wake you up?"

"Nope, what're you doing?" Itachi asked, rolling around to lie down on his back and putting his book away.

"…Writing."

"I wanna read your stories," Itachi said.

"They're not even finished. I can't write endings."

"I wanna read what you've got anyway," Itachi insisted, but on a light, teasing tone.

"No… Look I don't wanna talk about that. I wanted to ask you if you wanna do something this weekend?"

"Huh, I wanted to ask you the same thing, how convenient."

Deidara laughed, "Actually I have tickets for a show, on Saturday night…"

"But I wanted to bring you to the village…"

"But I already have the tickets! I got them for me and Konan, a couple months ago… But yeah."

"So I'm just your replacement?" Itachi wasn't really mad, he was just messing with the guy.

"No! Of course not! I'd rather go with you… If you like the band."

"What band?"

"Within temptation."

"Never heard of them."

"Just go on your laptop I'll send you a couple songs," Deidara suggested.

Itachi got up and opened his laptop. They logged in on their msn account, and hung up on the phone to continue chatting online instead. Deidara sent him five songs, saying they were pretty much his favorites from the band, and came from different albums, so that he'd have a pretty good idea of their sound.

Itachi listened to the songs with his headphone plugged to his laptop

_"I like it,"_ he typed simply.

It was true. He was surprised by how good the music was, and the female singer had a very beautiful voice. Sure he would've gone to the show with Deidara no matter what, but now he knew he would actually enjoy it; always a plus.

_"Really? Awesome! So you wanna come?"_ Deidara replied.

_"Sure. But next week we're going to my favorite club."_

_"Deal."_

Itachi smiled. Then he typed, _"All right I'm gonna go to bed. School tomorrow. Gotta be a good student and all."_

_"You do that lol. Good night."_

_"You'll call me again tomorrow?"_

_"Ya sure."_

_"Good answer. Good night Dei."_


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

Things were going pretty great at work for Deidara. He had a couple new customers now, thanks to the few pictures Konan had posted on Silver's facebook page. Itachi's tattoo was on there, too; Deidara actually took a picture of it at his house last Sunday afternoon.

Now, almost a week later, more precisely Saturday, Deidara was practically bouncing around the store because he was so excited about going to the show with Itachi. It was at 8 pm so Yahiko agreed to let him leave early. Actually he'd also changed his schedule. Now his days off were Sundays and Mondays. Maybe he'd decided Deidara was 'sick' too often on Sundays…

Sasori hadn't tried anything since that time in the back store. He pretty much just glared at the blonde all the time now. Usually Deidara felt uncomfortable because of this, but today he just couldn't let anything ruin his good mood.

At some point the red-head asked, "What are you so happy about, anyway?"

He pointed at his Within temptation t-shirt. "I'm going to see them live tonight!"

Sasori snorted, "I don't like metal bands with girls singing."

Yahiko heard that last part as he came back from his break, "Now that's just sexist!"

Deidara shrugged and returned at the counter, where he worked on some designs in his sketchbook next to the cash register. He checked the time on the computer screen; 6:35. Only twenty five more minutes before Itachi came here to join him, and then they would go together. He was so excited about it that he had a hard time concentrating on his drawing. He just loved going to shows like this.

His hair was loose today, and it fell down to his lower back, naturally sleek. He wore his favorite black skinny jeans, with chains hanging from his silver belt, black converse shoes, and of course his Within temptation t-shirt with black arm warmers, and added to that was the necklace with the sword pendant he always wore, hidden under his shirt.

Deidara's arms were healing, and he wasn't cutting anymore thanks to Itachi. Talking to him every night on the phone did the trick. Actually he hadn't made any nightmares recently. But he still wore the arm warmers to hide the scars. Still, he could honestly say he was doing better.

When Itachi walked in the store, at 7 pm sharp, Deidara smiled and without thinking, threw himself in his arms. He had missed him so much, even though it had only been a week, and he just felt so happy.

Itachi chuckled as he held him back. But of course, Sasori had to ruin the moment.

"Just get him out of here. His hyperactiveness is getting on my nerves."

They pulled apart, and Itachi glared right back at Sasori, but didn't reply. Sasori seemed a little nervous because of the raven's harsh glare, and he walked back to his tattoo station.

"Good show guys, have fun!" Yahiko smiled.

"Thanks man! I'll see you on Tuesday!" Deidara smiled back as he went to get his black hoodie. He had forgotten it at the party last weekend, but thankfully Konan had given it back the next day.

"All right!" Yahiko exclaimed, watching them leave.

Itachi glanced at him sideways as they walked out of the store side by side.

"Hyperactiveness?"

Deidara shrugged helplessly, and just smiled as he took in Itachi's appearance; he was all in black, with his slim jeans and trench coat, he looked handsome as always. His raven hair was down and fell on his shoulders.

"I like music shows." He randomly said, "I like standing right in front of the stage, so I hope you're ready to trash a little. It's not death metal, but still…"

"I don't even want to know what death metal shows are like," Itachi chuckled.

Deidara laughed. "Let's just say intense… So hey are you excited? I know you're not as thrilled as me but you told me you really liked the band so…"

Itachi smiled, and pushed the door open as they entered the subway station. "To be perfectly honest, I'm really just glad I get to spend time with you."

Deidara frowned slightly, "You do like the band though, right? You didn't lie to me about that?"

"Of course not," he said teasingly. So Deidara was still kinda confused. Was he doing it on purpose?

They were silent for a few minutes as they walked quickly. Deidara didn't want to lose any time. They were almost there thankfully. Deidara could see the line up already. Oh damn, it looked like they were already opening the front doors.

"Come on," he grabbed Itachi's arm and urged him forward.

"I'm not running," the raven protested but, contradicting his statement, he followed him anyway, "Dei just calm down…"

"I'm calm," he lied. But he continued running until they got there, much to Itachi's annoyance.

Inside the theatre, the crazy fans already occupied most of the space in front of the stage. Deidara had to stand in the middle of the room, behind an already large and thick crowd of people. He pouted, disappointed.

"Is there a check room here?" Itachi asked beside him, as he took off his warm coat.

"Oh yeah, you'll be too warm if you keep that on. It's in the basement," he pointed at the stairs, right next to the entrance doors.

"Give me yours too," Itachi suggested. Deidara nodded and took off his hoodie, handing it to Itachi.

"Will you find me with all those people?"

He glanced around, "I think everyone here has black hair except you so you kinda stand out."

"Okay well I'm staying right here," he chuckled.

He waited for Itachi just a few minutes, and when he came back the crowd had already thickened even more. But Itachi took his hand, and led him forward.

"What are you doing?" Deidara asked.

"You wanted to be in front of the stage, right?"

"Yeah but there're way too many people, they won't let us…"

But Itachi squeezed his hand, and dragged him along towards the stage. It seemed Itachi was intimidating enough for people to let them through. Impressive, Deidara thought.

And two minutes later they were standing almost right in front of the stage.

"Thank God I'm not claustrophobic," Itachi said half-teasing.

"Yeah," Deidara agreed, "But thanks, this is awesome!"

They were standing really close to each other, but they didn't exactly have a choice.

"No problem," Itachi smiled at him.

Deidara noticed for the first time he was wearing a black t-shirt which seemed too small for him. It had abstract, gothic patterns all over it.

"Nice shirt," he said.

"It's Sasuke's," he admitted, "I figured I might as well try to blend in, y'know, with all the… emos… or whatever they're called."

Deidara burst out laughing. Well, that explained why it was a little too small. He still found it hot, though.

When the show started, Deidara was really glad to be with Itachi; of course he enjoyed his presence as always, but also, he was protecting them both from crazy fans trying to force their way and steal their spot.

The band was too awesome for words. This was Deidara's first time seeing them live. The female lead singer and the rest of the band were full of energy and passion. And they were so talented, creating such beautiful symphonic metal music.

Deidara didn't know all of their songs, but sometimes he was singing along. It wasn't like anyone could hear him, anyway. The raven kept glancing at him and smiling, and it made Deidara incredibly happy. Music shows were always awesome, but being able to share the experience with someone made it so much better.

Sometimes Deidara made little comments about the songs, and the band, and he smiled, pleased, whenever Itachi commented back, saying things such as, "Yeah I really like this one too!" This only proved that Itachi shared at least some of his tastes in music.

When the show was over, the crowd cheered for more songs, so the band came back on stage to perform one of their most recent hits, actually. Evidently they expected to do an encore. Deidara enjoyed it as much as the rest of the show, and when it really was over, he was disappointed and glad at the same time. Disappointed because he didn't want it to end so soon, glad because he didn't think he could withstand this crazy, thick crowd of fans for one more minute.

They made their way towards the check room and waited in line to get their coats back.

"It was so awesome!" Deidara whispered dreamily. Itachi just smiled.

"Yeah it was pretty great…"

They finally grabbed their coat and hoodie after that, and they made their way outside. They didn't put them on right away though; it had been so warm inside so the cold, refreshing air was welcome. They walked together, and this time Deidara was walking rather slowly and lazily. He was still dazed by the show, the great music, the rush he'd felt standing in that crowd, and a smile lingered on his lips.

Deidara eventually stopped at a bus stop, but Itachi took his hand and led him further down the street.

"What are you doing?" The blonde asked.

"I'll drive you back home, silly."

"Oh… thanks," he blushed. Itachi's hand was neither warm nor cold, and he was squeezing gently.

Before getting in the car, Itachi offered the keys. Deidara's eyes widened as he looked up.

"You want to drive?" Itachi asked.

"Hell yeah!" He laughed disbelievingly, taking the keys and running to the other side.

Itachi chuckled as he took place in the passenger seat. It took a bit of adjustment for Deidara to remember how to drive the manual transmission car properly, but after a few minutes he was driving pretty much perfectly well. They weren't listening to any music for once, just enjoying the silence and this moment together. They had just been to a pretty intense music show after all. They kept exchanging glances and smiles.

"Next week it's my turn," Itachi reminded him when they were halfway to Deidara's place, "I get to bring you to my favorite place to go out."

"A gay club?"

"Not just any gay club. It's a great place, you'll see."

Deidara forced a smile, but he was a little nervous at the thought. He brushed it away though; he didn't want to be anxious right now. He wanted to enjoy what was left of his time with Itachi.

The taller male probably noticed his sudden uneasiness, because he dropped the subject. Actually they remained silent for the rest of the drive, but it wasn't awkward, and to Deidara, it felt comforting just to be with him. He enjoyed driving, also, and he felt glad and privileged to be trusted.

After parking in front of his apartment complex, he got out of the car, leaving the keys in the ignition. Itachi stepped out as well, but instead of walking around to the driver's side, he followed him to the door.

As they stood outside in the cold night, facing each other, Deidara swallowed hard, suddenly nervous. Itachi lifted his fingers slowly to caress Deidara's hair. It was slightly wavy now; because of the craziness of the crowd during the show the air had been a little wet inside the theatre. Itachi replaced the thick blonde locks behind his shoulder, and placed his hand behind his neck. The reason for Deidara's nervousness was that Itachi clearly wanted more than a hug this time.

Sure enough, Itachi leaned closer, tilted his head slightly, and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Deidara closed his eyes, and kissed back, tasting Itachi's delicious, full lips. The raven slid his other arm around his waist, flushing their bodies together. He continued kissing him, more intensely now. He licked Deidara's bottom lip, and then entered his mouth, exploring it briefly.

Deidara moaned through the kiss, and wrapped his arms around the taller guy as well. He entangled his fingers in silky raven hair as he deepened the kiss even more. Their tongues were battling now, fighting for dominance. But Deidara chose to just let Itachi lead the kiss. It felt so damn good. He hadn't kissed many people in his life, but Itachi was by far the best kisser. He didn't want it to stop.

Itachi was running his hands all over his back, caressing his hair, as he bruised his lips with this intense and long kiss.

When they finally pulled away, they were breathless. Deidara looked up at Itachi, meeting lustful, beautiful onyx eyes. They were still holding each other, neither wanted to move. Deidara felt like his legs would fail him. He felt even more dazed than after the show now; his heart was thumping loud, and as he looked at Itachi's now darkened full lips, he couldn't help but want even more.

Reading his mind, Itachi leaned in for another sweet kiss. The raven tasted delicious, and his lips were so soft. Their thin bodies fit perfectly together. Deidara's hand was still entangled in raven locks, messing them up but it didn't matter.

After this second lavish kiss they were panting, but smiling. Itachi finally let go of him, and for a moment Deidara felt like his legs would indeed give in and he would fall down, but he managed to hold his ground. He chuckled as he glanced at Itachi's hair. He proceeded to put some order in the messy raven locks with his hand softly.

Eventually Itachi just took his hand to stop his movements, and brought it to his lips to kiss his folded fingers. Then he gave him one last, soft kiss on the lips.

"I had a great time," he whispered in his ear.

"Me too," Deidara breathed.

Itachi pressed their foreheads together for a brief instant, caressing his blonde hair some more, and then he spun and walked over to his car.

Deidara watched the black car as he drove away, until it disappeared at the street corner. He shook his head briefly, almost disbelieving what had just happened. It had felt so amazing; he couldn't even find the right words to describe it. Could he finally be ready to try to be in a relationship with a guy? For the first time, instead of immediately thinking that no, it wasn't possible, well, he couldn't find the answer. Maybe, just maybe, if that guy was Itachi, then it would be okay.

…

The following week was incredibly long. Regular training sessions at the gym, spending some time with his family, and most of all school, homework and studying kept Itachi busy of course, but still, it seemed Saturday just wouldn't come. With Deidara they'd decided to go to the club on Saturday evening, since he conveniently had Sundays off now. Itachi made a note to self to thank Yahiko for that next time he saw him.

So on Friday night when Deidara called, just like every other night, Itachi answered at the first ring.

"Were you waiting by your phone?" Deidara asked teasingly.

"No, it just happened to be right next to me at this very moment…"

"Yeah right."

Itachi smiled but didn't continue arguing, instead he asked, "What're you doing?"

"Working on a tattoo design for a new customer."

"So you have customers now, huh?" Itachi said, smiling.

He was really happy for Deidara. He was talented, passionate, and he deserved it. Itachi had already started working on the website. All that was left was for Deidara to lend him his sketchbook so that he could scan and upload some designs.

"I guess I do!"

"What's he getting?"

"Oh it's a girl actually. She's getting angel wings on her back. She wanted it to be really unique though, so we discussed it together. There's gonna be lots of shadings, with some violet, dark blue and black. It's gonna be wicked."

Itachi agreed, "Sounds bad ass."

"Yeah, and Yahiko said my pay checks would get bigger soon, so it's pretty sweet."

"Great! Maybe you'll finally buy a decent winter coat."

"My hoodie is warmer than it looks okay?"

Itachi laughed, and then changed the subject. "My mom keeps asking me when you'll come over for dinner. I told her maybe Sunday. If you sleep over after the club, you could stay and eat with us."

"Um… okay," Deidara replied. He sounded a little nervous but Itachi ignored it.

"Perfect! She'll be ecstatic, and she'll probably make enough food for like twenty people."

Deidara laughed lightly, and then it was his turn to change the subject. "Hey what should I wear for the club?"

"Hmm…"

Itachi actually took his time to think about it, changing the question slightly; what did _he_ want Deidara to wear? The blonde's selection of clothes was pretty limited – some skinny jeans, band t-shirts of course, a few tank tops… and that was about it.

"We should go shopping," he finally said.

"… But I'm working tomorrow."

"When's your lunch break? You have an hour, right?"

"Yeah… I usually take it at 2 but… is an hour gonna be enough though?"

"Yeah I know what I want."

"Hum…" Deidara said hesitantly.

"Don't be scared. Knowing your style, you'll probably like the clothes I choose."

"We'll see."

"Don't be like that!" Itachi chuckled, "Anyway see you tomorrow then."

"All right…"

"Hey Deidara wait!" He exclaimed before the blonde could hang up, "I wanted to know, do you still… have those nightmares?"

"… I didn't… cut…" Deidara eventually answered in a low voice. He'd seen right through Itachi's question.

"I'm glad," he said honestly.

"It's all thanks to you I mean… when I feel the urge to do it I think about you and I just… don't cause… I know you'd be pissed."

"I would be very pissed."

Deidara laughed lightly, "It's like, 3 am. I should probably go to sleep if I don't want to be too tired tomorrow night…"

"You're right. I'm gonna let you sleep now."

"Good night!"

"Night," he said back, and then hung up.

A smile curled around his lips as he thought about the clothes he would buy for Deidara.

…

Punctual as always, Itachi walked in Silver at 2 pm sharp. Deidara didn't throw himself in his arms this time, but he might as well have. He was smiling widely and his blue eyes were almost glowing. Itachi couldn't help but smile back.

"Should we go?" Deidara asked as he put on the stupid hoodie that he used as a winter coat.

When they would have more time, Itachi would buy him something warmer too. But for today, he just wanted to get him a sexy outfit to go out.

"Yeah."

He was tempted to kiss him, but with Sasori glaring at them from across the store maybe it wasn't the best idea.

Besides, if they kissed, he might get carried away again, and time was precious. Thing was, Deidara was a damn good kisser; it was addictive But they could save all that for later tonight… And maybe take things a little further. Itachi thought he'd waited long enough already. And by the way Deidara had kissed back the other night, he was certain he wouldn't have any objections.

They walked quietly as Itachi led them to one of his favorite men clothing store. It was just five minutes walk from the tattoo and piercing store. Itachi came shopping to the small boutique sometimes with Sasuke.

"Those clothes are like, way too expensive…" Deidara said as soon as they stepped inside. He checked some of the price tags and made a face.

"Who said you were paying?" Itachi asked teasingly.

"Itachi, I told you already, I don't want you to buy me stuff!"

"It's also for me, since I'll be the one seeing you in that outfit all night," he teased.

"…Fine," the smaller male gave in.

Itachi smirked as his dark eyes scanned the new clothes selection quickly. They had a new collection, and he happened to like it a lot. First he chose pale, almost white, skinny jeans. They were ripped in some places, but in a stylish way.

"Why would you wanna pay so much for ripped jeans?" Deidara asked.

"Cause it'll look sexy on ya."

Deidara went quiet.

The raven then chose a slim dark blue button down shirt with half-long sleeves.

"Try this on."

"I'm not your slave," Deidara replied.

He smiled at the thought of Deidara being his slave. The blonde seemed a little scared by said smile, but he went to try the clothes on anyway.

The man currently working in the store came to ask if they needed some help, but Itachi declined.

When Deidara tugged at the curtain and walked out of the stall, Itachi checked him out appreciatively. He looked damn good, the shirt's color made his blue eyes stand out even more. And the clothes flattered his body; sure he was a little skinny, but he looked hot, and the tight clothes hugged his hips and waist nicely. When Itachi looked up, he noticed Deidara was blushing slightly. Just the cutest thing…

Then he noticed he wasn't wearing the arm warmers for once. Itachi stepped closer and took his arms to look at the insides.

"It's getting better but it's still…" he made a face.

There were a lot of tiny scars, with some cuts that were still healing, but all in all it wasn't that bad.

"Believe me, no one's gonna notice tonight," he reassured him.

Deidara hesitated, and then nodded. "I kinda like those clothes," he admitted in a shy voice "It's not my usual style but it looks…"

"Really sexy," Itachi interrupted.

"I was gonna say nice, but…" He chuckled, but then his face became serious again. "They're really expensive though…"

"I don't care. Now get changed if you don't want to be late."

"Stop ordering me around, jeez…" He complained, but again, he did as he was told anyway.

As Itachi sat on a sofa in the small waiting area, he couldn't help but smile, already anticipating that they would have a really good time… He'd been waiting for this for nearly three months after all…


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Since Deidara finished work at 9, they decided to meet up at the subway station in the village and almost right in front of Itachi's supposedly amazing gay night club, at 11, so it gave the blonde some time to get ready.

After going shopping with Deidara, Itachi had returned home, done some schoolwork – he was really looking forward to the end of the semester – and eaten a light dinner with his family. Now, a few hours later, he'd just gotten out of the shower, and was getting ready to go out.

He chose his outfit carefully, and then looked at himself in his mirror. He was clad in his dress black shoes, stylish low rise dark blue jeans, and plain black v-neck t-shirt. His only accessories were his watch, and a simple silver buckle belt. He thought it looked good enough. Once his hair was dry he stole Sasuke's flat iron. Maybe he should buy one for himself. Thing was, he knew Deidara liked when his hair was styled like this.

The Uchiha hated taking public transportations, and really preferred driving his car, but since he would drink – possibly a lot – he took the subway.

Despite his expressionless traits, Itachi felt so excited as he sat in the train. He couldn't wait to see the sexy blonde, and oh god to dance with him, to kiss him, to touch him everywhere… and perhaps he should stop thinking about all that if he didn't want to end up with a boner in public.

Itachi arrived first at their meet up point so he stayed inside because he didn't want to freeze his butt out. He was a little bit early anyway; he just sat on a bench to wait for Deidara.

It turned out the nineteen year old was early as well, because he got there just two minutes later. As always, he smiled when he saw Itachi. Some checking out was done as per usual; Deidara was really hot in those jeans… And he'd done his hair in a half-ponytail, kinda girly but somehow he made it work. Itachi really loved that look for him actually.

"You look nervous," the raven said, skipping the light talk. They'd been texting each other all day long anyway.

He shrugged helplessly, "First time going out in a gay club."

"I'll make sure you have a good time then."

As they stepped outside Itachi threw his arm around Deidara's shoulders casually. Around here there were gay couples everywhere so they didn't need to be so cautious with public displays of affection. Deidara tensed a little at first, but then he relaxed slowly.

"You smell nice," Deidara told him.

"You too," he said as he breathed in the sweet smell of his hair, "and you look really hot."

Black eyeliner circled Deidara's bright blue eyes, and he just looked so adorable as he blushed and pressed himself a little closer, shivering.

Itachi wondered when the smaller male would stop being shy around him already. Maybe after tonight…

They went to stand in the line up to get in the fancy night club. The place was very popular on Saturday nights.

"So how was the rest of your day at work?" Itachi asked.

"It was great," he turned and looked up, and Itachi removed his arm. "I'm gonna finish the girl's wings tattoo another time, though. It would've been too long to do it in one shot, and too painful for her that's for sure."

"I think I want another tattoo."

"Really?" Deidara smiled.

"Yeah."

"What do you wanna get?"

"I don't know yet. Maybe you can draw something for me." He smiled back.

"…Where do you want it?" Deidara tilted his head to the side.

"I don't know. Maybe you can decide that for me too."

"Did you just decide like right now that you want another tattoo?"

"Yeah," the taller male admitted, "it's your bad influence on me."

"Oh, I'm the bad boy now?"

"Apparently."

"Well I'm not the one always going out in night clubs," Deidara argued.

"I'm not 'always going out' I haven't been here since this summer."

Before that, he used to go out every weekend, but that was a minor detail…

"All right fine I'm the bad influence," he laughed, "with my tattoos and piercings. I should be so ashamed." Then his smile disappeared, "But seriously, your mother will kill you when she finds out, no?"

"No… she'll be horrified. And then Minato will talk to her. And then she's gonna get over it."

"Good point… Oh thank God it's almost our turn, I can't feel my toes anymore…"

"Yeah cause wearing your converse shoes in the snow is such a good idea. Seriously, how did you survive all the last winters?"

"I guess I'm tougher than you think!"

It was finally their turn to get in. Itachi paid for them both, and then he led the way to the second floor. The first floor was simply a restaurant and bar, which was opened all week long. The two other floors were opened only on Friday and Saturday nights.

On the second floor hip hop music was playing. Later in the night, some guys, who were pretty much professional hip hop dancers, always made a little show with their moves on the dance floor. But for now, since it was quite early, the place wasn't too crowded. The music was good, as always. Well Itachi thought it was good, at least.

But he didn't want to dance right now. Besides, Deidara looked a bit too shy and tensed. He was constantly glancing down worriedly at his arms, which were only partly hidden by the sleeves of the new shirt Itachi had gotten him.

Itachi softly took him by the hand and led him to the bar. "Don't worry," he said reassuringly, "like I said, it's really not that bad, and no one's gonna notice."

The blonde made a little smile as they leaned on the bar counter.

"Two margarita please," Itachi ordered

"I have money, by the way," Deidara said, "you don't have to _always_ pay for me."

Itachi let him pay this time, even though it was pretty expensive.

"I'll pay the next ones," he told Deidara.

"…All right," he said, resigned. Obviously he'd found the drinks expensive.

"Come on taste it," Itachi smiled, "they make them really good here."

The drink tasted strong, but sweet and delicious. Deidara seemed to like it too, and actually he was drinking a little bit too fast.

"You might wanna slow down," Itachi teased, "Remember what happened last time you drank too fast?"

"…Cheap shot."

"But still true. I'm trying to teach you how to drink reasonably here."

Deidara looked annoyed by his comment, but he was drinking slower now.

"So Itachi, did _you_ ever get drunk?" He asked, glancing at him sideways through long blonde bangs.

"I never got drunk to the point that I was puking, or passed out, but there were times when I drank too much, and I regretted what I did the next day. So after that I learned to know where my limits are," he explained.

"What did you do, I mean, that you regretted?"

He locked eyes with Deidara, wondering if he should tell him or not. But then he figured, maybe if he opened up more to Deidara about his past, then the blonde would do the same.

"Well the worst time was when I hooked up with a guy, and I guess I was really drunk, because I forgot to wear a condom. The next day, I refused to give him my phone number because to me it had been just a one night, and he told me he was HIV positive."

"Shit…" Deidara's eyes widened.

"Yeah I was scared out of my mind. But I got checked, and I'm fine," he shrugged, "I have no idea if what he told me was true or not."

"…Either way he's an asshole."

"Yeah that's for sure. So yeah I never forgot to wear a condom again."

Deidara chuckled, "I believe you."

The raven smiled, and finished what was left of his drink at once. Deidara raised a delicate blonde eyebrow at him.

"You just told me to slow down. You're not being a really good example."

"Like I said, I know my limits. And you don't."

"Stop acting like a parent, you're getting on my nerves," Deidara glared defiantly, and then he also emptied the rest of his drink.

Itachi leaned across the sleek black bar counter, a little smile on his lips. He ordered two tequila sunrise next. He wanted Deidara to taste a couple tasty drinks.

"I liked the first one better, but this one is good, too," the blonde gave his verdict after taking a few sips. "So you used to come here really often?"

"Yeah."

He nodded slowly, glancing around at the increasing crowd of people, "It's a really nice place. I haven't been to a lot of clubs but I can still tell. And the music isn't bad. It's better than what was playing at Konan's party…"

"I'll take you upstairs later. It's more house music though. Anyway, after you can decide which one you like better."

"Which one do _you_ prefer?" Deidara asked, taking another sip of his tequila sunrise.

"House music," he admitted. "But this kind of music, like, hip hop, it's slower, and it's also really nice if you're dancing with someone."

"I can imagine…" Deidara hesitated, blushing, "I don't think I wanna dance though… I'm sorry it's not really my thing. Anyway I'm sure I'm a really bad dancer."

"Of course you'll dance. I'll teach you," Itachi smirked, "Hey I went to the show with you last week. You have to dance with me, at least a little."

"But you liked the show, right?"

"Of course I did, but… we had a deal."

Deidara leaned closer, frowning slightly, "Our deal didn't precise that I had to dance."

"It was implied, since we were going to a dance club, obviously."

The blonde glanced away, hesitated, and then he said, "Fine, but I'm gonna need another drink."

Itachi laughed, and they finished drinking this one quickly enough as well. Itachi ordered a third round.

Halfway through the drink, he could tell Deidara was already starting to feel more relaxed. Itachi was used to drinking; not only that, but he was very resistant to alcohol. Deidara was a light weight.

By the time they finished drinking it, the dance floor was packed. Itachi decided it was time to give this dancing thing a try. He took Deidara's arm and led him to the middle of the room. The blonde still looked unsure, but he didn't protest.

It was dark, with the colored lights flicking on and off, and a lot of gay couples around them were dancing passionately together to the slow rhythm of the hip hop remix currently playing.

Itachi started dancing, his whole body following the rhythm instinctively. He placed his hands on Deidara's hips and moved closer to him. He doubted the blonde would start dancing by himself, so maybe he needed a little help. Deidara was clearly still nervous despite the alcohol. He was averting his eyes, looking down, so Itachi lifted a hand and cupped his chin. They finally locked eyes, and Itachi stepped even closer, rolling their hips together.

"Just listen to the music," he whispered in his ear, "just relax…"

The raven slid one hand to Deidara's thin waist and the other to the back of his hair, entangling his fingers in it. But Deidara was still tensed, and nervous…

"Do you want to go upstairs? And maybe have another drink?"

"Yeah," Deidara answered firmly.

"Come on," he kept his arm around the younger male's waist as they walked towards the stairs.

On the third floor the music was different. The beat was faster, it was a remix of some pop song. The dance floor was equally crowded, but there were fewer couples.

They went to the bar, and Deidara said, "I want something really strong."

Itachi chuckled, "Are you sure?"

"Yeah," he nodded, replacing some blonde strands behind his ears and fumbling with his ear piercings nervously.

"Okay," Itachi said simply.

He ordered some strong shots, three each. Deidara imitated Itachi, drinking them really quickly, but he made a disgusted face in between, which amused the raven. But at the same time he was a little worried.

"I don't want you to be sick," he said.

"I'm fine," Deidara insisted. "This tastes gross though I'll buy something to change the taste."

He took out his last bill, and ordered two sweet drinks, paying for himself and Itachi again.

"Okay I officially have no more money now," he chuckled, "Hey cheers to hum… tonight, you and me."

"Yeah." They drank simultaneously.

Deidara then swallowed hard, locking blue eyes with deep onyx irises, "I really, really like you Itachi."

He smiled, "I think I quite figured that out already, but it's still nice to hear you say it."

But Deidara didn't return his smile, instead he frowned slightly, "I'm still not sure if I can… do this. Be in a relationship, or whatever this is, but… I really like you, a lot…"

"Shh…" Itachi whispered, reaching out with his hand to caress his cheek. He leaned closer and kissed him softly. "I really like you too. It doesn't have to be more complicated than that."

Deidara pulled away slightly, emptied his drink, and then he wrapped his arms around the taller male and kissed him passionately. Itachi really enjoyed this spontaneous, and intense make-out session, but he decided to stop it for now.

He finished his drink as well, and took Deidara's hand. "Come on," he led him to the middle of the dance floor just like he'd done on the lower floor. "Let's give this another try."

This time Deidara was really getting into it. He wasn't a bad dancer once he'd relaxed his body enough, actually. Itachi was practically getting hard just watching him move his sexy lithe body. And as they moved closer to each other to dance together, he had to repress a moan; Deidara was practically grinding his hips now.

He was definitely drunk now. But Itachi couldn't bring himself to feel bad about encouraging him to drink. He was enjoying himself way too much, and he could tell Deidara shared his feelings. His smile was beautiful and carefree.

Deidara turned around, and danced with his butt rubbing Itachi's crotch. The raven ran his hands all over his dance partner's body, especially his thin hips and waist. Deidara tilted his head back, turning it slightly, just enough so that they could kiss while they continued dancing like this. Itachi moaned through the kiss, and suddenly Deidara spun in his arms, and grinded his hips harshly.

Itachi couldn't hold back anymore. He wasn't drunk, far from it, but the alcohol was still in his system, making him even hornier than normal. Itachi realized he'd missed this, he'd missed being on a dance floor, with good music, and a hot dance partner. And this wasn't just any hot dance partner, it was Deidara. And for the first time, he actually liked the guy. And it made this whole experience even better, even more exciting.

He ran his hands in the long, soft pale hair, pulling him in a bruising kiss. Then he slid his hands down his back, and all the way to his ass, feeling his body again and again. He pulled away so that he could take a better look at him. Half-lidded blue eyes looked back at him lustfully. Blonde hair was all messy and the first few buttons of his shirt were opened.

Itachi placed Deidara's hair behind his shoulder, and leaned closer to kiss his neck. They continued dancing, but he could feel the small guy becoming weak in his arms. He could also hear his cute little moans, which encouraged him to continue. He worked his way to his ear, where he nibbled, kissed and licked the sensitive and pierced skin, and then deliberately blew on it. He felt the blonde trembling with desire in his arms. Itachi pulled away, but only so that he could kiss his lips instead. Deidara kissed back passionately, battling with his tongue almost aggressively.

Itachi was discovering a whole new side of him that he definitely liked. This was even better than he'd imagined. Their bodies seemed to fit perfectly together. Even if Itachi had a lot of skilled dance and make-out partners before, none of them beat Deidara. It was probably mostly because he actually had feelings for him. It really did make things so much more intense.

"Do you want to go back downstairs?" Itachi whispered in his ear.

"Yeah," Deidara breathed, his needy, drunken voice revealing that he would've probably followed Itachi anywhere in the world right now.

They made their way back to the second floor of the building, clinging to each other. On the dance floor there was no hesitation. Soon hands were all over each other again, and Itachi led the dance. He was showing the blonde how to move his body to this slower beat. They were moving together, now dancing just as passionately and sensually as the other couples around them. Itachi smiled; this was amazing. They kissed, and kissed again, bruised lips and tongues always wanting to taste more of each other. Itachi was definitely hard now. He wanted Deidara so freakin' badly.

At some point Deidara stopped dancing because he needed to go to the bathroom. Itachi followed him even if he didn't need to go. He couldn't just leave him alone, not even for a few seconds. The small blonde was drunk and vulnerable, and Itachi felt really possessive, so he waited for him by the bathroom door. When Deidara got out, he smiled and hugged Itachi drunkenly. Itachi held him back, kissing his neck.

"Let's go back to my place," he whispered in his ear.

…

Thirty minutes later, Itachi paid the cab driver, and helped Deidara out of the car. They walked up to the door, which he unlocked and opened, trying to be as quiet as possible. But it wasn't so easy when they stopped every two seconds to make out passionately.

Eventually Itachi decided to just pick him up bridal style, making the blonde laugh.

"Shhh…" Itachi whispered, but he was smiling.

He carried the drunk male upstairs, and to his bedroom. It was definitely faster that way. He put him down on the large, comfortable bed and went to close the door. He hurriedly returned to the bed and climbed on top of Deidara, looming over him before kissing him passionately.

"Mm… you're mine…" He whispered against the blonde's flushed lips.

He quickly unbuttoned Deidara's shirt – what was left to unbutton, anyway – and then brought him into a sitting embrace to take it off completely. He threw it away, and then removed his own t-shirt, Deidara helping him eagerly. They kissed again, pressing their naked chests together.

Then Itachi pinned him to the bed, and kissed his neck, his chest, and his nipples, giving more attention to the pierced one, making Deidara moan and tilt his head back into the pillows. The sound of Deidara's moans was making the older male so incredibly turned on, and his erection was increasingly painful in his tight jeans. So he got up briefly to get rid of them, as well as his boxers. Then he hopped on the bed again and unbuttoned Deidara's jeans, and got him rid of all his lower garments as well. He took a moment to admire his naked body; he was so damn beautiful. He liked everything about him, his tattoos, his piercings, his long hair, his blue eyes, his lips… The next instant they were kissing again. Itachi was turned on now more than ever. He couldn't control himself any longer. And Deidara looked flustered and needy under him, as he pressed his hands to Itachi's back to pull him close and kiss him again and again.

Itachi reached out for the bedside table's first drawer, and he grabbed a condom. He pulled away from Deidara slightly, only so that he could put on the condom quickly…

He spread Deidara's legs. "You want me to stretch you?" He breathed heatedly as he brought his pale fingers in between his butt cheeks.

But the blonde didn't answer, actually he became all tensed up. Suddenly he was breathing really hard, and he was so pale. His whole body started trembling. Itachi frowned, worried.

He moved closer and pulled him up, holding him in his arms. "Hey, you okay?"

Deidara's heart was beating really fast. He squeezed his eyes shut, and tears rolled down his cheeks.

"I can't, I can't do this… I can't…"

"It's okay, if you're not ready we can wait, you should've told me," Itachi said softly.

He was disappointed, but at the same time he was really concerned. He didn't like seeing Deidara like this. He pulled away, and Deidara fell back on the bed before curling up on his side, crying. Itachi removed the condom and threw it away. He pulled the blankets over their naked bodies, and carefully curled his arm around Deidara's small waist, spooning him gently.

"Will you tell me what's wrong?" He pleaded. He couldn't possibly be this traumatized just because they'd almost had sex…

Slowly, still trembling, and having a hard time breathing, Deidara turned around in Itachi's arms. He faced him, blue eyes wide open and teary. He looked like he wanted to talk, but didn't know how to express himself.

"Is it because of something that happened to you…?" Itachi asked softly. When he got no answer, he continued, "Is it because of your father? Did he…?"

"No," Deidara whispered, shaking his head. Itachi caressed the smooth skin of his back, waiting for him to continue talking. "My father… beat me up sometimes but… he never… did _that_. It was… in high school, senior year…"

His breathing was becoming really difficult. Itachi was worried that he was having an asthma attack again.

"Deidara, did you end up getting an inhaler?"

"N-No, I have the prescription, but…"

"Damn it…" He sighed, "Maybe if I open the window," he muttered more to himself.

He got out of bed, and opened his window a little. He also turned up the heat; otherwise the room would get way too cold. Itachi crawled back under the comforter and sheets afterwards, replacing his arm around Deidara's fragile body. He waited, caressing his hair gently.

Once he'd calmed down a little, Itachi asked, "Do you wanna talk about it?"

Deidara nodded, averting his eyes, "I was um… bullied a lot, I mean, in high school." He swallowed hard, "I was too skinny, and too girly, so yeah…" He chuckled bitterly, "My system's fucked up I guess. I got taller and actually looked more like a guy at like, eighteen…"

Itachi lifted his fingers to caress his cheek, wiping his tears. "Look at me…"

The blonde slowly looked up, with so much pain and frustration in those deep blue eyes.

"What happened?"

"I… I was… hum…" He looked like he didn't know how to say it.

"Raped?"

Deidara winced at the word, but he nodded, "In the locker room. They were five guys, from the football team… They were… laughing, waiting for their turn…" He finished in a mere whisper. Silent tears kept falling from his eyes.

"Fuck…"

Itachi felt so enraged just at hearing the story. He couldn't begin to imagine what Deidara had been through. All he could do was hold him close, wipe his tears, and listen to him.

"I quit school after that," Deidara eventually continued in a broken voice. "My father beat me up when he found out that I was working full-time in some lame fast food instead… But he didn't know about… what happened to me… So… then I moved out on my own."

"And you never told anyone about all this?" Itachi asked in disbelief.

"No…" He whispered, closing his eyes, "I'm so sorry Itachi, I didn't want to tell you. Didn't want to… ruin everything with my… fucked up… issues…"

He tried to pull away, but Itachi held him tight, "You didn't ruin anything… Why would you say that?"

"Because I can't… I can't have sex with you…" He breathed in between quiet sobs.

"I don't care…" Itachi sighed, "Look, it might have been true before, that I only cared about sex but... not anymore, all right?" Deidara opened his eyes, uncertainty written all over his face. "It's not your fault, what happened to you," Itachi continued, and he leaned closer to kiss his hair softly, "I just wanna help."

"…You could have anyone," Deidara whispered in protest.

"I don't want _anyone_ all right?"

The blonde curled up even more on himself, and all energy seemed to leave his body at once. He was pale, and looked dizzy, but at least his breathing was okay now. He was still crying, and without a word he buried his face in Itachi's chest. The latter rubbed circles on his back soothingly until he fell asleep.

Itachi had seen it coming; he had expected something like this had happened to Deidara, but to this extent… Sure he wanted to help, but he didn't really know what to do anymore. There was no way he would leave him alone again though. He wanted to be there for him, no matter what. Maybe things would get better, now that he'd actually opened up… Itachi could only hope for the best at this point.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

They woke up at the same time, around 11 am. Deidara's head hurt. He felt sick. He shivered from the loss of warmth when Itachi pulled away from their sleeping embrace to sit up. Deidara imitated him, glancing at him sideways, almost afraid to talk. He remembered his night all too well. And he couldn't believe he had poured his heart out to Itachi like that…

"How are you feeling?" The raven finally asked.

"Hungover," he admitted. "It's kinda happening a lot lately…"

"I'm sorry I guess it's a partly my fault."

"No," Deidara shook his head, "of course not."

Itachi sighed, and then he got up and put on his boxers. Deidara admired his tall and lean body as always, but with dark thoughts lingering at the back of his mind. Deidara truly believed Itachi could have anyone, so this relationship just couldn't be right.

Deidara got dressed in silence, and then they sat in front of each other, Itachi in his computer chair and Deidara on the bed.

"This doesn't have to be awkward," Itachi eventually said.

"…Too late for that," Deidara muttered, glancing down.

"Why? Because you finally opened up to me?"

"I never wanted to tell anyone."

Itachi frowned slightly. Behind his blank expression, Deidara could see that Itachi was hurt by his words. But he couldn't take them back now. He just couldn't look into those beautiful dark eyes anymore, though. He needed to go.

"I need to be alone. I'm sorry…"

Deidara walked away. He walked past Itachi's parents in the living room, whispering quick thanks, and then he stormed outside. He allowed the tears he'd been holding in all this time to fall once he was walking down the street, hands in his pockets, shivering in the cold. If even he had a hard time living with himself, there was no way he would put Itachi through that…

…

Itachi tried to call Deidara a few times on Sunday evening, and then on Monday as well.

Deidara didn't answer. He eventually just turned off his cell.

He was trying to concentrate on some drawings, but he still felt a little sick. He hadn't eaten anything since Saturday, and he had no appetite. He felt like cutting, but he didn't, instead he cried some more, thinking about Itachi. All in all his two days off were really shitty.

Monday evening, he was lying down on his unmade bed, wearing sweat pants and a band t-shirt, when he heard knocks at his door.

He frowned, and went to open, thinking that maybe it was just the landlord or janitor or something.

But it was Itachi. And he was pissed.

"Are you gonna let me in? Or are you gonna close the door in my face, just like you turned off your phone when I was calling?"

Deidara stepped aside to let him in, ashamed.

"How are you?" Itachi asked him, his voice cold but hardly hiding a hint of worry.

"I'm awesome," Deidara muttered sarcastically.

After a moment of silence, Itachi said, "Don't you want to know how I feel, or are you even more selfish than I thought?"

Blue eyes widened as they looked up at the other, feeling guilty. He noticed Itachi actually looked exhausted.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"I was worried!" The older male cut him, leaning slightly closer, "I was so fucking worried yesterday when you just left like that! You tell me you need to be alone, looking fucking depressed out of your mind! I thought you were gonna do something stupid…" His voice broke.

Deidara swallowed hard, a painful lump in his throat. He really hated seeing Itachi like this. He also leaned closer, and wrapped his arms around the raven. The latter held him back fiercely, entangling his pale fingers in thick blonde hair.

"I'm sorry…" Deidara repeated. "I just… don't want you to waste your time with me…"

"…Ah fuck it, Dei, seriously," Itachi whispered in his ear, "Stop being so god damn emo." He pulled away, but kept his arms around Deidara, and locked eyes with him. "I like being with you. You're funny, cute, passionate, a little weird sometimes but that's okay," he chuckled, caressing his cheek, "I like that. I like you. And you have a rough past but so what? You think I'm gonna leave you alone just because of that? Then you really don't know me," he finished, wiping Deidara's tears softly with his thumbs.

The blonde felt overwhelmed, and conflicted by the lingering feeling that he wasn't right for Itachi.

"Now go put some decent clothes on," Itachi said, his voice calm again, "We're going to eat at my place. First because my mother was disappointed that you weren't there yesterday, and also because you're so skinny I feel like if you go one more day without eating properly you're gonna die."

"…I look like shit," Deidara said.

He was certain his eyes were reddish because of all the crying, not to mention tears marks on his face… How very sexy.

Itachi replaced a blonde strand behind his ear, his finger brushing the silver studs as he often did. They were really close. Deidara lost himself in Itachi's deep onyx eyes.

"You're beautiful," he said simply.

Itachi was so intense sometimes, Deidara liked that about him but at the same time it put him out of his comfort zone. He just didn't know how to act. So he just pulled away and averted his eyes.

"Anyway, I'm just gonna take a quick shower…"

Itachi nodded quietly.

The nineteen year old showered, got dressed in black skinny jeans and long sleeve, blue v-neck shirt, tied his hair hurriedly and, hoping he looked okay, finally followed Itachi to his car without a word.

They sat in silence as Itachi drove across the city. At some point the raven put on some music, from the cd player, and actually it was Within temptation.

"You bought their record?" Deidara asked, surprised.

Itachi glanced at him sideways with a little smile. "Downloaded it."

"Oh," the blonde chuckled.

He felt like he should say something, apologize again, or ask to know how Itachi felt about all the things he'd told him. But he was nervous, ashamed, even, so the words just wouldn't come out. Instead there was a constant lump in his throat.

"Are you okay?" Itachi asked him softly as he parked his car in the entryway.

"Yeah," Deidara said, but there was a slight trembling to his voice.

"You know you don't have to do this, right? I'm not forcing you."

"It's okay…" He said hesitantly, and then he decided to try to lighten the mood a little. "It's my first time eating dinner at someone else's place though… so I am a little nervous."

Itachi looked surprised, "What about your ex..?"

He chuckled, "Oh, no um… her family didn't exactly approve of me."

"Well I don't think you'll find much more open minded families than mine," Itachi replied. "And besides, it doesn't make any sense I mean, she is a piercer after all, do they think she'll date a doctor or what?"

"Her father would die of happiness." Deidara laughed, "He's a doctor so…"

"Oh," Itachi said in understanding. "Hey I never really asked but, do you miss her?"

Deidara was fully aware that there was so much more behind this question than it seemed. Itachi was asking him if he missed his life before meeting him, or his relationship with Konan. But of course he didn't. It had been nothing but a lie.

"No," he shook his head, "we're better off as friends. Yahiko is better for her, and I'm happy for them…" He hesitated, bit his lip and said, "Besides we both know I'm not straight."

This actually made Itachi laugh. It was good to see him smile. He said, "Well anyway I guess we'd better get inside. We're late enough already."

They exited the car, and walked up to the front door quickly. Inside, Mikoto greeted them, all smiles, and made no comment about the fact that it was a little late for dinner.

They sat side by side at the dining table, and Sasuke and Naruto took place in front of them. Itachi's step-father and his mother were sitting at both ends. Mikoto served some salad and paste and it was delicious. Deidara thought it was even better than fancy restaurants' food, and when he told her this she thanked him warmly, beaming with happiness.

Itachi glanced at him sideways and made a little smile. Other than that little comment, Deidara didn't talk much. But that was okay. Itachi's parents weren't questioning him about his life goals, or his job, and he was grateful. Instead Minato, Naruto and Mikoto were making small talk about their jobs, or high school, and Sasuke and Itachi were pretty much silent actually.

Towards the end of the meal they started talking about their upcoming Christmas vacations in Miami. And, to Deidara's surprise, Minato asked him if he was excited about going.

Itachi said, "I didn't even ask him yet."

Naruto looked at his father, offended, "You ruined Itachi's romantic surprise dad!"

"I'm so sorry," Minato said sincerely.

Itachi chuckled, "No big deal. I just didn't get the chance to ask but, Dei, would you like to come with us?"

He blushed, feeling a little intimidated as the whole family stared at him expectantly.

"I don't want to intrude…"

"Of course not!" Mikoto interrupted, "Itachi was always so lonely before he met you! So if he had someone with him…"

"Mom…" Itachi cut her in a low voice, clearly embarrassed.

"It's true!" She exclaimed.

Sasuke tried to save the situation, "What she means is, we'd really like it if you came with us."

Deidara noticed the silent 'thank you' Itachi mouthed at his younger brother, and it made him smile.

"All right, I'd love to go, thanks for inviting me," he said politely although he wasn't too sure about this whole thing.

"Awesome!" Naruto exclaimed.

After that the conversations started again on various subjects, and Itachi took Deidara's hand under the table and squeezed gently.

…

Later, in Itachi's bedroom, the raven was sitting at his desk working on a school project, and Deidara was sitting next to him on an extra chair Itachi had brought, working on design ideas for Itachi's next tattoo.

"Just tell me if you want me to drive you home all right?" Itachi asked at some point.

"It's okay," Deidara replied, shrugging slightly. "There's no rush. I'm probably gonna go to bed really late tonight anyway."

"You always go to bed really late," Itachi said, amused.

"I guess you have a point."

They both stopped what they were doing, and looked at each other.

"You can sleep here tonight," Itachi suggested, "And I'll take you home tomorrow morning on my way to school. I promise not to try anything. You trust me, right?"

Deidara's heart sank. Of course he trusted him, why would Itachi even doubt that?

"Yeah," he said with contained emotion, "You never did anything wrong."

"Then why did you run away from me yesterday morning?"

Deidara glanced away, "It's not your fault. It's… I'm ashamed of myself."

The raven cupped his chin and turned his face, so that he could look into his eyes.

"Why? You shouldn't be."

The blond didn't reply. But a few tears rolled down his cheeks, and he pulled away from Itachi's touch.

"Fuck… I'm _always_ crying…" He wiped his eyes in frustration.

"Look," Itachi said softly, "it's almost midnight, we're both tired, so maybe for once we should go to sleep at a reasonable time…?"

Deidara chuckled, "Yeah."

"…I got you a toothbrush," Itachi said.

At first Deidara frowned, surprised by the sudden and random change of subject, but then he smiled, and laughed lightly.

"That's kinda really sweet actually."

So they went to the bathroom one after the other, and then they stripped to their boxers and lay down in Itachi's bed. They were facing each other, and even though the lights were off Deidara could still see most of the details of Itachi's pale, beautiful face.

He had felt really tired before, and he still was, but somehow he didn't feel like sleeping. He felt like this moment with Itachi was precious – like all moments spent with him were very precious.

And Itachi seemed to be reluctant to sleep as well. His eyes were open, and he was caressing Deidara's skin lazily. His pale, slender fingers ran across his blonde locks, his arm, and his side. When they brushed the side of his stomach so lightly, Deidara instinctively smacked his hand away.

A smile curled around Itachi's lips, "You're ticklish."

It wasn't even a question, so how could Deidara deny it? Besides when Itachi's fingers brushed his sensitive skin again he had the same reflex, so the raven's theory was confirmed.

"Stop it…" Deidara protested, crawling to the opposite side of the bed.

Itachi laughed, and then he shifted closer to him. But he stopped teasing him at least. His fingers resumed their exploring though, as they touched his ear, his neck, and then slid down to his nipple.

"Did it hurt a lot?" Itachi asked as he touched the piercing and the skin around it.

Deidara closed his eye for a moment; that felt kinda good…

"Yeah," he answered, "It's the most painful piercing I got."

Itachi's fingers stopped moving, and instead he curled his arm around Deidara's thin body, pulling him slightly closer. Deidara hesitated, and then placed his hand on top of Itachi's arm, stroking it with his thumb. This felt so intimate, and Deidara was tempted to hold his breath. His feelings were so conflicted, as always. This felt right, yet wrong. Itachi was amazing, but the idea of being more intimate with him was threatening.

"What's the second most painful?" Itachi asked.

"Eyebrow," Deidara answered without hesitating, at least this light conversation was helping him relax, "And, I didn't get any others but I heard pretty much all piercings in the face are painful. For the ears it's not so bad. Why all those questions? Do you want to get one?" He asked half-teasing.

"No," Itachi shook his head slightly, "Just curious… to know more about you."

Deidara made a little smile, and then sighed, "We should probably try to get some sleep."

"We should," Itachi said, but neither of them closed their eyes.

"Hey when do you finish school?" Deidara suddenly asked.

"In about three weeks. My last exam is on December 21st."

"That's soon," he smiled. "And when do you guys leave for your vacations?"

"The day after my last exam, actually… But hey, don't you mean when do _we_ leave?"

His smile widened slightly. "I guess, yeah. I've lived here my whole life and I've never been anywhere else so it's pretty awesome. Thanks again for inviting me."

Itachi smiled back, and leaned closer to give him a soft kiss. "I'm glad you decided to come with us."

"Otherwise you would've been so lonely..." He teased him.

Itachi's smile disappeared, "Never listen to what my mother says all right? She's done psychology classes, so she always exaggerates everything. She thinks my brother and I have all sorts of mental health problems, when we're really just a little antisocial."

"All right, all right I got it." He chuckled; Itachi was kind of cute when he got worked up like this.

"Dei… can I ask what happened to your mother?"

His smile became sad as he answered, "There were complications when she was pregnant with me. I don't know the details but… from what my father told me, it was me or her, you know."

Itachi tightened his hold around him comfortingly. He seemed to be waiting for him to continue talking, so he did.

"She wanted to keep me, to try anyway, and my father wanted her to just save her life. I understand him, you know, he loved her so much… She had a very fragile health, kinda like me. I mean I don't have any really bad disease or whatever, and I'm really not complaining, but I do get sick often, which is a pain in the ass…" He chuckled darkly, and then frowned as he said, "My dad kept saying I looked so much like her. But it didn't make him happy, it made him sad and bitter, and he missed her so much, so yeah like I said I can understand his reasons for… you know…" He finished in a mere whisper.

"What is wrong with you?" Itachi frowned sadly. "Nothing, absolutely nothing, can excuse him for beating you up. And he _should_'ve been happy, and love you just as much as he loved her, if not even more…"

"Are you trying to make me cry _again_?" He chuckled, trying to lighten the mood, but of course this conversation was making him really depressed.

"Maybe you've just been holding back your tears for too long," Itachi said as he pulled him close, and kissed his forehead softly.

The blond buried his face in the crook of Itachi's neck and closed his eyes. He felt emotionally drained, but safe and warm in the raven's arms. He fell asleep like this, with Itachi caressing his hair, just like he always did, in a now familiar and comforting matter.

…

The following weeks went by really fast for Itachi. At school it got pretty crazy, and he had so much work. But he still found some time to see Deidara almost everyday, sometimes before or after school at his apartment, sometimes – mostly on Saturdays – at his work. And on Sundays they spent the day together, and Deidara stayed to eat with the whole family. The more time he spent with the blonde, the more he craved his presence when he wasn't there. It was overwhelming just how much he cared about Deidara, and wanted to be with him no matter what. Itachi had yet to enter that information in his rather thick emo head.

He had also found the time to scan some of his designs to put them on the website, some as background, and some in a picture gallery. There was a link on Silver's facebook page of course, Konan had agreed to it immediately. And Itachi was glad really, because Deidara was getting more new customers every week.

Another good thing they had gotten done was going to the pharmacy to actually get the inhaler for Deidara's asthma. Even though his attacks were rare, Itachi still found it important that he had the necessary medicine for it. The blonde was so damn stubborn that Itachi had to drag him to the pharmacy with his prescription. He was helpless and rather lazy sometimes…

Whenever they spent nights together Itachi was always faithful to his promise not to try anything. Deidara was slowly opening up more and more, and Itachi was glad, but at the same time it was a little bit frustrating not to do anything intimate for a former sex addict such as himself. Of course he hadn't told Deidara this little detail, but he wouldn't be able to control himself for much longer. He wouldn't try to go all the way – not yet, anyway – but soon he would show him that there were so many other things they could do to pleasure each other… He had decided to wait for the Christmas vacations, which were very soon, anyway.

So as he finished his last exam for the semester, he was glad to finally be able to clear his mind from anything school related. Now he would be able to spend more time with his family, but especially with Deidara. They weren't officially boyfriends yet, but actually Itachi couldn't care less about those kinds of details. He knew Deidara didn't want to be with anyone else. Now Itachi just needed to keep trying to convince Deidara that _he_ didn't want to be with anyone else either.

In his car, while driving towards the tattoo and piercing store, he listened to the cd he had made recently with songs Deidara had sent him. The blonde was definitely rubbing off on him when it came to music, and Itachi had started defining his tastes more, deciding he liked alternative, and soft or symphonic metal. So Deidara regularly sent him some songs that he thought Itachi might like, according to what he knew of his tastes.

At least now, when he was stuck in the traffic to get downtown, he could listen to those songs and it made him think about Deidara.

When he finally got to the store, Deidara was waiting for him on the snowy sidewalk, so thankfully Itachi didn't have to go through the trouble of finding a free parking spot. The blonde smiled when he saw his car, and he came to open the door to sit in the passenger's seat.

"Nice music!" He teased.

"Thanks," Itachi replied on the same playful tone.

He leaned towards the blonde to kiss him softly. His lips were cold, probably because he'd been waiting outside, so Itachi decided to kiss him just a little longer, giving himself the excuse that he needed to warm him up.

After that he pulled away, and started driving.

"Yahiko didn't mind…?"

"Nope. He's even more of a cool boss since he started dating Konan again!"

"That's pretty great," Itachi agreed.

Deidara's luggage was already at his place, and he was spending the night with him so that they could all take the plane early the next morning.

A week ago Deidara had felt a bit guilty, and asked if they were staying in a hotel, and just how much more money Minato would spend because he was coming, too. But Itachi had explained that every year they rented a house because Minato knew the guy that owned it, and he was making a very good price for the week. So it wouldn't cost more money because Deidara was there. Well, only for the plane ticket, and food once they got there – although Deidara really didn't eat that much. Anyway, it wasn't a problem.

The rest of the day was spent playing some video games on Itachi's various consoles, eating dinner with the whole family, and then playing more video games. They had already finished preparing their stuff anyway – unlike Naruto, who could be heard running around like crazy in the house to try to find his scattered things.

At 11 pm Itachi decided they should stop since they were getting up at five in the morning… Right now they were playing the only game Deidara seemed to like, actually; guitar hero. Itachi suspected he only liked the game because he knew and loved some of the songs.

"But I could almost play at expert!" Deidara protested, making the raven laugh.

"You're playing at hard, and it's your first time, so you're like, better than most people already."

The blond chuckled as they sat on the bed. "Thanks, I'll put that in my resume. Better than most people at guitar hero."

Itachi leaned in for a soft kiss, smiling. "You could also put, sexier than most people…"

"Yeah right if I'm looking for a job in an escort agency…" He rolled his eyes.

The raven wrapped his arms around Deidara and made them both fall on the bed, and then he closed his eyes, still holding Deidara tightly.

"You wanna sleep like this?" The blonde asked, "With all our clothes on?"

"Hmm… you're right naked is better." He muttered, but didn't move one inch.

Deidara chuckled lightly. "You're tired? Is it because of all those exams?"

Itachi nodded slightly, and opened his eyes. He made a little smile, kissed Deidara softly, and then pulled away so that they could strip to their boxers to sleep more comfortably under the sheets.

Once they'd closed the door and turned off the lights, and were face to face, lying down in the comfortable bed, Deidara whispered, "I've wanted to make at least one trip for a long time now. But I never had enough money. So I wanted to thank you."

"No problem," Itachi said in a sleepy voice, "I'm glad you're gonna be there."

"It's gonna be my first time taking the plane. I'm that pathetic. Getting up at 5 is a pain in the ass though…"

"It's gonna be totally worth it once we're there. Besides, you told me you hate winter here right? Well imagine how great it will be there. Sunny, and warm…"

"You're right it's totally worth it," Deidara smiled, "Good night Itachi."

"Night…"

He really was tired, and it didn't take long to find sleep. Of course the night wouldn't be very long, but as he'd told Deidara, at least they were getting up for something that they were looking forward to. Yet another night during which all they did was sleep, Itachi thought. Well, that wouldn't last for much longer, he'd make sure of that…


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

They used two cars to get to the airport. Itachi was driving his black Honda accord, following his parents on the highway. Deidara sat next to him, and Sasuke and Naruto were stuck in the back. It was a twenty minutes drive, and at least since they were very early in the morning so there was no traffic.

The four boys were very tired of course, so Itachi pretty much drove surrounded by silence, except for the music playing. The first one to speak was Sasuke, and he was addressing Deidara actually.

"You made my brother have good taste in music! How did you do it?"

Itachi rolled his eyes. Deidara turned to look at his little brother, smiling.

"I don't know. Maybe you just never tried hard enough. Hey is Naruto sleeping?"

"Yes," Sasuke answered with a chuckle.

"He's lucky…" Deidara sighed, turning back to look at the road, "I absolutely can't sleep in cars."

Itachi glanced at him sideways. "Maybe you can sleep in the plane." He said as he reached out to hold his hand.

"Itachi," Sasuke said, "I don't think holding your boyfriend's hand while driving a manual is a really good idea."

"I'm on the highway," Itachi replied, "Save your smart ass comments for when you actually learn to drive…"

"Fine," Sasuke chuckled.

Itachi hadn't failed to notice Deidara's light blush at Sasuke's use of the word boyfriend but neither commented on it. In Itachi's opinion, it was completely retarded to think that being in an official relationship or not changed anything, really. But then again, he wasn't used to the whole social aspect of the thing.

Getting to the airport, and then waiting at the airport was pretty much boring and long, as always. Mikoto and Minato had brought some reading, as for Sasuke and Naruto they were listening to their respective IPods, looking like zombies.

At some point Deidara also took out his IPod, and offered an ear bud. He shrugged slightly, smiling at him.

"So I can influence your musical tastes some more," he said teasingly.

Itachi chuckled as he put it in his ear. "Anytime…"

At least this made the waiting less boring.

When it was time for their flight they made their way to get in the plane. Itachi was filled with the usual feeling of dread as he thought back about when he was six years old, and he'd learned that his father had died in a plane crash. It wasn't that bad, but it was still there, he couldn't help it.

Deidara took his hand and laced their fingers, squeezing gently. "You okay?" He whispered.

Itachi frowned slightly as he glanced at him, surprised. His expression couldn't have betrayed his emotions. It must mean that...

"You remembered that?"

Sure he'd told Deidara about his father but that was a while ago…

"Yeah," the blonde said simply.

Their seats were in the back of the plane, behind his parents. Itachi let Deidara sit by the window.

"Dei… do you remember when I came over to your place after you opened up to me for the first time? And I called you selfish…"

"Yeah…" He said in a low voice, tilting his head to the side.

"I take that back."

Deidara made a little smile. There was a hint of sadness to it, as if Deidara didn't agree with him.

But they remained silent, and when the plane started moving Deidara's eyes widened slightly as he turned quickly to look out the window. Itachi supposed, no matter the age, it was always fascinating when it was the first time.

He linked their hands together again, and leaned closer, placing a soft kiss on Deidara's soft cheek. Admiring his beautiful peachy complexion, he wondered if the blonde would get a tan during their vacation in the south.

Eventually Deidara got bored of looking out the window, and, as they listened to his IPod again, he fell asleep on his shoulder. Itachi smiled as he lifted a hand to caress his soft blonde hair.

…

After the long, seemingly endless flight, they arrived to Miami international airport. They got their luggage and, carrying the coats they had been wearing back home in their arms, went outside. The change in weather was definitely a big shock – but a welcomed one. They hopped in a taxi van, Minato sitting in the passenger's seat to give the driver the directions to their rented house in Miami Beach.

Itachi's family was used to this city, but Deidara wasn't obviously. He was looking everywhere around him, marvelling on the architecture, the trees, and then at the view when they passed over the water, with downtown as a background.

The house they rented every year had a direct view on the Ocean, and it was pretty great waking up every morning to it. Itachi couldn't wait to share this experience with Deidara. It had the advantage of being very private, and there was a nice and well-kept garden with a hot tub.

Itachi explained all this to Deidara during the drive, but when they arrived it seemed he was just as fascinated as if Itachi hadn't said a word. But that was perfectly fine, and Itachi simply smiled, walking close to the blonde as they slowly got in the house with their luggage. Deidara hadn't brought much, so they had been able to share Itachi's suitcase.

The inside of the house was beautiful, peaceful even. The three bedrooms and large living room were pretty much all similar with pale hardwood floors, and matching furniture in tints of white, beige and mahogany brown. Itachi made his way to the bedroom he always chose, it was the smallest, but he found it had the best view on the beach and the ocean. The others didn't really care, anyway. So Deidara followed him, and they opened the window. They just stood there for a few moments, with Deidara leaning on him, a smile lingering on his lips.

"This is like," he looked up at him, searching for his words, "something out of a dream…"

"Yeah…"

Suddenly they heard Naruto's voice exclaim, "We're going to the beach!" He didn't sound sleepy at all anymore.

"Do you want to go?" Itachi asked Deidara.

He smiled, "Yeah sure."

They changed into knee-length swimming trunks and t-shirts, and Itachi brought towels and the rest of their things in a shoulder strap bag. They were exhausted but nonetheless it was too exciting to be here to just stay inside.

As they walked outside with Naruto and Sasuke, Deidara inquired, "Your parents aren't coming?"

"Oh you'll see," Sasuke answered, "they don't do many things when they're here."

"They just read," Naruto chuckled, "they're boring."

"It's because their work is a lot of pressure," Itachi argued, "So they come here to get some time to just relax."

"Sometimes you sound like you're fifty Itachi," Naruto said.

"Sometimes you sound like you're five Naruto," Itachi replied on an even tone.

Sasuke laughed, but it died in his throat when Naruto nudged him angrily.

He slipped off his sandals, and started running towards the water. The small path to the public beach was only five minutes walk, so Naruto ran the rest. They could still see him as he started swimming.

"I think," Sasuke said, "he wanted me to follow him."

Deidara laughed and Itachi smiled as indeed Naruto eventually just stood there and looked in their direction, waiting.

They chose a spot on the beach to sit, without too many people around, while Sasuke finally went to join his boyfriend in the water. It was already late, and it wasn't sunny so Itachi chose not to put on any sunscreen.

"This is really nice," Deidara smiled at him.

Itachi simply nodded, but it was true that simply sitting together in the warm pale sand was nice. All those people having fun on the beach was a refreshing sight, but Itachi thought that they might as well get some fun as well.

"Do you want to go for a swim?"

"Yeah," Deidara said, standing, "I was gonna ask you."

They walked towards the water together, passing some people playing volleyball, and some other just sitting around their radio playing dance music.

As Itachi glanced at Deidara, he was glad to see that the blonde didn't seem self-conscious about his arms anymore. It really was almost completely healed now anyway. There were some scars of course, but you had to look really close to notice.

Itachi walked in the water without hesitating, and then started swimming towards his brother and Naruto, where the water was deeper. But he stopped and turned around when he noticed that Deidara wasn't following.

He was just standing with the water reaching his waist, looking tensed. Itachi went closer to him.

"What, you're gonna tell me you don't know how to swim now?"

"No!" Deidara exclaimed, "It's just… kinda cold."

Itachi chuckled. "It's really not that cold."

But Deidara still wasn't moving. Itachi smirked; now this was too easy. He swung his arms, and proceeded to splash as much water as he could at the smaller male, wetting the upper part of his body.

"You bastard…!" Pissed, Deidara launched at the raven and managed to grab his arms, pushing him underwater.

But Itachi was stronger, so he got away. This time Deidara followed him. Itachi was a fast swimmer due to all those times he'd trained at the gym, but to his surprise, Deidara was catching up.

"How come you're such a good swimmer?" He asked him once they'd stopped. Their feet now barely touched the ground, especially Deidara, who was a few inches shorter.

"I was in the team back in high school," he answered, "But you're even faster than me! I have a question Itachi, are you good at absolutely everything?"

"Pretty much."

Deidara laughed, "So modest."

Naruto came to swim next to them, Sasuke following him lazily.

"What's up guys?" Naruto said, smiling. "Feels damn good to be here, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Itachi smiled back.

"I can't wait to surf though!" Naruto exclaimed, and then he addressed Deidara. "Are you gonna try surfing?"

"Of course he will," Itachi answered for him.

But Naruto was already done with their conversation, it seemed, as he suddenly turned around, grabbed Sasuke and literally threw him in the water. Of course Sasuke got his revenge after that. Deidara swam away from them; maybe he was a little scared. Itachi followed him.

"I've never surfed before in my life," Deidara told him when they stopped moving again.

"I figured as much," Itachi teased.

"Yeah be a smart ass all you want," the blonde rolled his eyes, "I'm just saying I'm not really sure I feel like trying it…"

"I'll teach you," Itachi said.

He took his hands and quickly pulled him close. Deidara tripped since he was already on the tip of his toes, so Itachi took him by the waist instead, and lifted him up.

"What are you doing?" Deidara asked, laughing.

Itachi was holding him tightly, so the blonde had no choice but to wrap his legs around Itachi's hips, and his arms around his neck. And then they kissed softly. Itachi caressed the smooth wet skin of his back, pressing their bodies closer, and deepening the kiss.

But Deidara turned his head, and glanced around, "What if people see us?"

"Who cares?" Itachi said, leaning closer to kiss him again.

But he was still hesitating, "Not everyone is gay friendly…"

Itachi lifted his hand to untie Deidara's hair playfully. It fell loosely on his shoulders and back. It was pale gold in the fading daylight, and slightly wet and wavy.

"Now people will think you're a girl."

"A girl with no breasts?" Deidara teased.

"A very skinny girl with no breasts. They'll just think you're a model."

"I kinda have a dick too."

"I'm very aware of that," Itachi whispered as he leaned even closer.

Deidara laughed lightly, they kissed, and this time he didn't pull away. He was running his fingers through Itachi's long jet black hair. This felt really good, and Itachi deepened the kiss even more, battling with Deidara's tongue. He held him close in the water, enjoying the feel of his thin sexy body in his arms. He was enjoying it a little bit too much actually, and he felt himself getting hard. And Deidara felt it too.

He pulled away, blue eyes wide and uncertain as he looked at Itachi.

"What?" Itachi asked, letting go of him.

"Itachi…" he hesitated, "I know I'm gonna repeat myself but…"

"What is it?" He insisted. His hands were still holding Deidara's waist.

"What if I can't give you what you want?"

"You were right. You're repeating yourself. And you know what my answer to that is. You are what I want."

He still looked uncertain. Itachi repressed the urge to roll his eyes, and he leaned closer to whisper in his ear.

"It's not my fault if you turn me on, all right? I mean look at you…" He chuckled in his ear, making Deidara shiver slightly.

He inadvertently shifted closer and suddenly noticed Deidara was hard too. He smirked, pulling away to look into his eyes.

"Well, well, look at you making such a big deal when you are just as turned on as I am!"

The blonde glanced away, embarrassed. "I know… Hey I've wanted to ask you something for a little while now… like, are we… a couple?"

"Probably," Itachi laughed, "You're the expert all right? I've never been in a relationship before."

"Really?" Deidara looked surprised. "Ever?"

"No… Well unless you call one night stands relationships."

"But am I really what you want? You could be with someone else; in a saner, healthier relationship… you could be having sex all the time…"

Itachi sighed, annoyed. "I told you already. That's not important to me right now. Ever since the first time I've met you, back in September, I haven't fantasized about anyone but you, all right? So no, I don't want to leave you to go fuck just anyone. And… Deidara, look at me."

He looked up with searching blue eyes, as if trying to decide if Itachi was sincere or not.

"Do you seriously, be honest with me here, do you really want me to be with someone else?"

"No," Deidara whispered.

"Well good. Same here. Because if you decided to leave me to go with some random dude right now, I think I'd have to kill him."

"That's a little extreme, don't you think?" Deidara said, but he was smiling.

"Yeah, yeah whatever… So we're in an official relationship, you can go change your status on facebook or whatever it is people do…"

The blonde laughed, and tightened his hold around Itachi, kissing him again. It lasted really long this time, neither wanted to leave the other's embrace. Itachi could tell Deidara was a little cold because of the water, so he ran his hands all over him as they made out to warm him up… Until Sasuke interrupted them.

"Guys, you can save that for later… Itachi, before we left mom said to be back to have dinner with them, so maybe we should go dry up a little and get going…?"

They decided to do just that, and when they got to their spot, putting their towels on the sand and lying down on them, Itachi asked Sasuke where Naruto was. It was unusual for them to be apart, after all.

"He already made friends," Sasuke chuckled, pointing in the direction of a group of people getting ready to go surfing.

Naruto was talking with them happily, probably telling them how he couldn't wait to go surf as well. They would probably go rent their equipment the next day, and he would get one for Deidara as well, Itachi decided.

When Naruto walked back up to them, he accused Sasuke of being antisocial.

"Whatever…" was Sasuke's reply.

Naruto sat beside him. "You could've come with me! They're really cool! One of them works at the store to rent the surfing equipment, and he said he could probably make us a good deal!"

"Whatever…"

Deidara stepped in, "I'm still not sure if I should try that, cause…"

"It'll be fun! You'll see!" Naruto encouraged him.

"Well it's though at first," Sasuke said, "It takes a lot of practice before you can actually stand and…"

"Stop it! Now he won't want to do it!" His boyfriend cut him, frowning.

"I'm just saying," Deidara went on, "that I really don't have a good balance. I doubt I'll even be able to stand on the damn thing…"

"You won't know if you don't try," Itachi said, ending the argument.

"Should we go?" Sasuke asked. "I'm starving…"

"That's because you never want to eat anything in the plane," Naruto told him as they got up.

"I hate airplane food…"

Itachi and Deidara gathered their things in the shoulder strap bag, and this time Deidara carried it. They followed the two sixteen year olds towards the path leading to their rented house. If not hungry, Itachi felt very tired. They hadn't gotten much sleep the night before, and he hadn't been able to sleep in the plane at all.

Minato had bought some fresh sushi at a restaurant, and with Mikoto they had set the table for them to eat a nice family dinner. This vacation was also an opportunity for Mikoto to stop cooking for a couple days, so most of the time they went to the restaurant, or bought the food and ate it at the house.

Overall the meal was pleasant, but pretty much silent; they were all a little tired. So after wishing everyone a good night Itachi was glad to just retire to the bedroom with Deidara. They closed the door and lay down on the bed, just relaxing, and enjoying the last rays of sunlight.

"You brought your laptop, right?" Deidara asked him.

"Yeah, why?" Itachi rolled on his side, folding his arm under his head.

"Well, I need to change my facebook status, remember?"

He raised a brow, "Are you serious?"

"No I'm just messing with you," Deidara laughed, "I just need to charge my IPod..."

Itachi shrugged, and got up to take out his laptop from his suitcase. He sat on the bed as he opened it.

"What's your password?" Deidara asked half-teasing.

Itachi answered, giving him his combination of random letters and numbers.

"What does that mean?"

"Nothing. That's why it would be impossible to find."

"Huh…" Deidara nodded slightly, "Well, don't worry I already forgot it."

"Why would you hack my computer anyway?" Itachi chuckled.

"You never know," the blonde teased.

Deidara plugged his IPod, and they continued to just relax, listening to some music together. At some point Deidara went to the bathroom, which was just across the hallway. He came back in his dark blue boxer briefs, and took place on the bed, pulling only a thin sheet up to his chest.

Itachi put the computer aside on the little desk, and after turning off the lights he joined Deidara in the bed. Except he had no intention to sleep – not yet, anyway. He'd waited for this for too long. He loomed over the blonde to kiss him passionately, placing a hand next to his face and the other at his waist. When he pulled away it was only so that he could kiss Deidara's delicate jaw line, his neck, and his ear. He took his time, knowing the blonde just loved it when he licked his sensitive ear full of piercings, then blew on it teasingly.

"Hmm…" Deidara moaned, entangling his fingers in raven hair.

Then Itachi worked his way to his nipples, again giving some more attention to the one with the piercing.

"Feels so good…" Deidara breathed.

Itachi smirked and then kissed his toned abs, all the way down to the hem of his boxers. Deidara tensed when he grabbed the unwanted piece of clothing and took it off. He blushed, and folded his legs when Itachi glanced down at his naked body.

"Why are you embarrassed? You're beautiful," Itachi whispered, reaching up to kiss his lips.

He slowly slid his hand across Deidara's tattooed left leg, then all the way up his thigh and in between his legs. When he touched Deidara's hardening cock the blonde hissed.

"What are you doing?"

"What does it look like?" Itachi chuckled as he started stroking him, "You are aware," he said teasingly, "that there are other things we can do, right? And look, I still have my clothes on. So relax."

"…You can…" Deidara breathed in sharply, then moaned as Itachi stroked the tip of his cock with his thumb. "…Take off your shirt if you want."

The raven smiled, pleased, and interrupted his actions briefly to take off his t-shirt as demanded. Deidara looked at him through lustful, lidded blue eyes. Itachi started kissing his chest, and then his abs, until he went lower and lower, and kissed the skin around Deidara's now fully hard member. It was bigger than average, not as big as Itachi, but still. And he really was beautiful, with the pale gold hair down there proving that he was a natural blonde. And now he was a trembling and writhing mess, craving for Itachi's touch.

He moaned loudly when Itachi licked his balls, and then the whole length. He repeated his actions a few times, and smirked when Deidara arched his back and closed his eyes.

"Feels so fucking good…"

Itachi then used his hand to resume his earlier actions. There was added friction thanks to his saliva, and precum. He shifted to kiss Deidara's neck, without interrupting the hand job. He squeezed and moved his hand up and down faster and faster, making Deidara moan repeatedly.

"You like that?" Itachi whispered in his ear.

"Ah… yeah…" He breathed, "Don't… stop."

Actually he did stop soon after, but only so that he could replace his hand with his mouth again. Deidara almost screamed, fisting the sheets with a hand, and entangling the other in Itachi's hair. He tilted his head back into the pillows as Itachi sucked his cock skilfully.

"…Itachi… fuck… you're amazing… you're so amazing…"

The raven was enjoying every one of Deidara's reactions. His voice was just so sexy.

"Itachi… oh my god… I'm gonna…"

Soon after Deidara came in his mouth and Itachi swallowed and licked it clean, and then he shifted and lay down so that he could take the still trembling blonde in his arms. The small guy turned onto his side and held him back weakly, and opened dazed blue eyes.

"Was this your first time getting a blow job or what?" Itachi asked.

Deidara nodded.

"What about Konan? She never…?" He asked, curious.

"No… She thought it was disgusting. We only, you know, had sex. Normal, basic, girl and boy having sex. It was… okay I guess."

"Wow. It must have been so passionate…" Itachi said sarcastically.

"Well I was pretending to be straight so…"

"Yeah. But… man, poor Yahiko."

"Why do you say that?" He asked, but then he blushed, clearly understanding he was talking about the no blow jobs thing. "Okay, I get it."

Itachi chuckled, caressing his long blonde hair and trying to detangle it at the same time.

But suddenly Deidara frowned and said, "It's not fair."

"What?" Itachi also frowned.

Deidara rolled him on his back, and climbed up on him hesitantly. "You're still… hard. And…" he blushed, "you made me feel so amazing, I wanna make it up to you… or try, anyway."

"Hum… baby you don't have to if you don't want to."

"I want to," he smiled, placing his hair behind his ears before leaning closer to kiss him.

"…Okay then," Itachi chuckled, rather pleased with this turn of events.

Deidara clumsily helped him out of his remaining clothes. He was obviously a little nervous. Itachi supposed it was normal, since he'd never been intimate like that with another guy before. Itachi smiled, and continued caressing him reassuringly – his hair, his arms, his back. Deidara started kissing his neck, flipping his long hair on the side. He licked and nibbled at his ear and Itachi half-closed his eyes, a little smile lingering on his lips. Deidara was only repeating his own earlier actions, but that was okay. It was kinda cute, actually.

Deidara pulled away and glanced at Itachi's impressive, hard cock. He blushed lightly as he brought a hesitant hand towards it. He started stroking him, and looked at Itachi.

"Hum… if you want, you can just tell me what you want me to do…?"

"Hmm… with pleasure." Itachi smirked, "Lick your hand."

Deidara seemed to instantly regret his suggestion. Itachi laughed.

"Don't make that face. You don't have to obey me, you know?" He lifted a hand to caress Deidara's hair, "Do it if you also want to, all right?"

The blonde nodded, and proceeded to lick his hand thoroughly. Itachi's smile faded, only to be replaced by a lustful expression all over his face. Now that was hot…

After licking his hand Deidara continued stroking him, and it felt amazing – god it was such a turn on just to watch the hot skinny blonde doing this to him. It had been way too long since Itachi had done anything remotely sexual.

Itachi moaned, and wrapping his arms around the other's thin waist pulled him closer. "Come here," he whispered before kissing him passionately.

This distracted Deidara a little from his other activity, but it didn't matter. When they pulled away though, the blonde focused more on giving him a hand job. Itachi leaned his head back in the pillows, looking up and admiring Deidara's beauty through half-lidded eyes.

"Use both hands…" He said.

Deidara complied, and with his hands stroked him really fast, covering the whole length. At one point he slowed down, so that he could play with the tip with his fingers.

"Talk to me," Itachi panted.

"You like this?" Deidara whispered huskily, probably not knowing what else to say.

"Hmm…yeah," Itachi moaned. "Dirtier…"

The blonde hesitated, then leaned closer, and whispered, "You like it when I'm jerking you off? When I touch that big cock of yours…"

Itachi chuckled at Deidara's attempts of making dirty talk, "You're cute."

The blond also chuckled, "Damn it, I'm trying to be naughty here, not cute…"

But he continued stroking him, and actually he was gaining confidence. He used two hands again, going faster and squeezing just enough. Just the sight of Deidara giving him a hand job was hot enough to drive him crazy. He closed his eyes, letting himself enjoy this blissful sensation. But then he opened them again, as he was closed to release, and he wanted to look into Deidara's beautiful blue eyes.

"Come for me Itachi..." The blonde said huskily.

He was already getting much better at talking dirty… Itachi thought, pleased. And hearing his name in that sexy voice was just too much.

He came in Deidara's hand, and on his own stomach.

The blonde smiled, "I'm gonna go wash my hands I guess…" He started getting up, but Itachi grabbed his arm.

"Stay here…"

Deidara's smile widened and he lay down on the bed next to the raven.

"You were great…" he whispered, still panting a little.

"I just…" the blonde bit his lower lip, "kind of did the same things you did to me, or the things you asked me to do…"

Itachi smiled; Deidara was adorable. "So what?"

"Hum… anyway," Deidara chuckled, "… I'll be right back."

This time, Itachi let him go. Deidara just went to the bathroom and came back right away with a wet rag. He proceeded to clean Itachi's stomach with it, and then threw it away. Actually, Deidara had already turned the room into kind of a mess, throwing his clothes and all his stuff everywhere. Now he knew why the nineteen year old's apartment was so messy. But Itachi was too tired to care, and the fact that Deidara had cleaned him was cute enough to make up for the mess.

When Deidara crawled back under the thin sheet, Itachi held him in his arms fiercely, closing his eyes, and breathing in his sweet scent.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

Deidara let out a contented moan as he woke up on Friday morning. He was on a vacation in Miami, with Itachi's awesome family, and, most of all, he was sleeping in the raven's arms, feeling comfortable and… a little bit horny actually. He lifted his fingers to trace Itachi's handsome face as he slept; his defined jaw line, his beautiful lips, his cheekbones, and finally he simply caressed his silk soft black hair.

Itachi opened sleepy dark eyes, and smiled, "Hey."

"Hey," Deidara smiled back.

"Did you sleep well?" Itachi asked as he took his hand, intertwining their fingers.

"Very," Deidara answered, "You?"

"Yeah."

Deidara grinned and leaned closer to kiss him. Itachi tightened his hold around him and pulled him close. It wasn't long before they were both hard.

"How about a shower?" Itachi whispered against his lips.

"Together?"

"Of course silly."

Deidara felt nervous and excited at the same time – nervous, because he was afraid, as always, that things wouldn't live up to Itachi's expectations. But he tried not to show it. They got dressed quickly in comfortable clothes; it was just to get to the bathroom. As soon as they were in it, and had locked the door, Itachi went to start the water. When it was warm enough he stripped off his clothes and stepped in. Deidara imitated him. Again, he couldn't help but admire Itachi's perfect, lean and muscular body. Compared to him, Deidara felt like some skinny teenage boy.

Itachi frowned slightly. "Don't be nervous," he said quietly.

He placed Deidara under the water, so that he could sleek his long blonde hair and wash it. Deidara found it felt good to be pampered like that, to be taken care of. Itachi's touch was gentle, and comforting. He used conditioner, too, and finally rinsed one last time. When Deidara opened his eyes he met Itachi's lustful dark ones. They kissed, and their tongues battled for dominance. Soon though Deidara simply let Itachi lead the kiss.

When the raven pulled away, and locked eyes with Deidara, he frowned again.

"All right why are you nervous?"

Deidara sighed, "Either I'm really bad at hiding it, or you're starting to know me too well."

"A little bit of both, maybe," Itachi whispered, and kissed his neck lightly. "Tell me…"

"I don't want to…" Deidara moaned and tilted his head back as Itachi started kissing his neck more roughly, "disappoint you…"

Itachi chuckled in his ear, and it sent a shiver all throughout his body. "Do I look disappointed to you right now?"

Itachi lifted him up and pressed his back against the shower wall. Deidara wrapped his arms around Itachi's neck, and his ankles around his hips. The raven grinded against him harshly, rubbing their erections together. Deidara bucked his hips into the touch almost reflexively. Itachi then reached with his hand and wrapped it around both their dicks and started stroking. He eventually put Deidara down and concentrated on stroking only him, using the water for more friction and pressing and squeezing in all the right places.

He was kissing Deidara passionately at the same time, and increasing his pace. Soon the blonde reached climax and came in Itachi's hand. The latter stepped back and proceeded to lick his hand clean instead of just rinsing it in the water. Deidara, still panting and trembling, found he couldn't take his eyes off him.

"That was… hot," he said.

Itachi let out a little laugh, that soft masculine sound Deidara loved so much.

"My turn," Deidara said huskily as he reversed their positions.

Itachi seemed pleased by this, and he let himself relax into Deidara's loving touch.

A few minutes later Itachi came, and after this heated session Deidara decided to simply clean Itachi. He started with his hair, like the other had done for him before. When he applied the conditioner he ran his fingers through it like a comb, and Itachi closed his eyes, completely relaxed. Deidara placed a soft kiss on his lips, and the raven smiled.

Suddenly they heard a loud knock at the door, and for a moment they simply looked at each other.

"Shit," Deidara eventually said.

They had been in the shower for quite some time, and there was only one bathroom in the house.

Itachi chuckled. "No big deal, Naruto and my brother do this all the time. It's probably them, actually. But just in case it's my parents…"

They finished cleaning themselves really quickly. As they stepped out of the shower they wrapped a towel around their waists.

"We're not exactly subtle, are we?" Deidara chuckled quietly.

Itachi shrugged. Clearly he didn't give a shit.

It turned out it Itachi's first guess had been right; it was Sasuke and Naruto waiting for the bathroom.

"You guys had fun?" Sasuke said casually as he passed them.

Deidara blushed, and Itachi seemed unbothered.

"We meet at the beach later?" Naruto asked them before closing the door. "Mikoto and my dad are already there."

"All right," Itachi said.

While the two others were in the bathroom Itachi and Deidara returned to their bedroom to get changed. They wore t-shirts with their swimming trunks, and Itachi put the rest of their things in his shoulder strap bag.

They grabbed some bottles of water in the kitchen, and each took a cereal bar to eat it on their way to the beach. As they walked in the warm sand together, looking for Itachi's parents, the latter asked something

"So… how are you feeling? You know, considering the step we've taken?"

"A little nervous," Deidara admitted. There was no point in lying; Itachi would see right through it.

Itachi took his hand and squeezed gently. "Why?"

The blonde was thoughtful for a moment. Then he said, "I guess I just have to get used to the idea…"

"Care to elaborate?" Itachi teased gently.

"Y'know… having a boyfriend."

Itachi pulled him close and squeezed his hand again. "I know there's more you want to say." He said softly, "But you don't have to say it if you don't want to. We'll take our time all right? Wait 'til you're ready."

"How come someone like you exists?" Deidara shook his head in disbelief, a fond smile curling his lips. "And how come I get to have you?"

"Cause you're pretty," Itachi teased.

Deidara rolled his eyes and said, "Well that kinda broke the moment."

Itachi chuckled, and then they interrupted their discussion. They finally found Mikoto and Minato. They were resting in a rare spot of shadow under palm trees. Clearly they had come to the beach very early to have such a place.

"Hey guys," Minato greeted them, interrupting his reading.

"Hi," Mikoto smiled.

"What's up?" Itachi put his towel and bag beside them.

"What's the point in going to the beach," Deidara said, "if you're not even going in the sun, or swimming?"

"Oh I'll go later," Minato reassured him, "I'm waiting for Naruto, and then we'll go rent surfing equipment. Are you gonna try it, too?"

"I don't know…"

"Yes," Itachi cut him, "he will."

"Great!" Minato smiled.

Then Mikoto said, "I can't go out in the sun with my skin, it's way too sensitive. My boys are just like me…"

Deidara glanced at Itachi curiously. He sighed and took out a bottle of sunscreen of his bag. Deidara took it with a small smile on his face. It was SPF 50, and specifically for sensitive skin – one of those that cost a fortune, he supposed.

"Well, since you volunteer…" Itachi said mockingly, and he lay down on his towel, face down.

"I didn't say anything," the blonde chuckled, but he sat beside him anyway.

He started with the back of Itachi's legs. As he massaged the lotion in his skin he glanced up at his face. He had closed his eyes, and rested his head in his folded arms. Deidara smiled, and continued applying the cream.

To do his back he had to take off Itachi's t-shirt though. He frowned and leaned closer to whisper in Itachi's ear.

"What about your tattoo? Mikoto will see it…"

Itachi opened his eyes slowly, and sat up. "I guess it can't be helped," he sighed.

His parents interrupted their readings again, and looked at him curiously.

"Guys, I guess I should tell you that I have a tattoo. Right here, on my arm," he pointed at his left arm, the part that was still hidden under his sleeve.

"Cool, can I see it?" Minato asked.

Mikoto's reaction was a little different. She seemed panicked, and horrified at the same time.

"But, Itachi, you know I don't like those things! In a few years you won't want it anymore, and you'll have it taken off and it will leave horrible scars in your skin!"

"Mom please don't freak out. I'm gonna keep it my whole life. I love it. Deidara drew it for me."

He took off his shirt, and his mother seemed to relax. Maybe, Deidara mused, she'd been imagining something ugly that would ruin Itachi's life.

"It's really nice, suits you Itachi, really," Minato smiled appreciatively.

Deidara couldn't help but smile; it was his work the man was admiring after all.

"I guess… it's not so bad," Mikoto admitted after a moment, but she still seemed troubled.

Itachi thanked them and returned to his comfortable position on the towel. After a moment the two others returned to their readings.

Deidara chuckled as he resumed applying the sunscreen on Itachi's skin.

He whispered in his ear, "Well that wasn't so bad."

"Hmm… yeah but I don't want to be there when she finds out about my brother's tattoo," he whispered in a barely audible voice.

He didn't comment, but in his opinion Mikoto really wasn't that bad. Some parents were much less accepting of tattoos than this. Instead he focused on his task. He traced circles on Itachi's back to apply the cream everywhere.

"Feels good," Itachi whispered.

Deidara smiled and reached with his hand to place Itachi's long black hair aside. He placed a soft kiss on the back of his neck. Then he blushed as he remembered Itachi's parents were right beside them. But as he glanced at them he realized they were completely absorbed by their reading.

When he had finished Itachi's back, the latter turned around.

"Honestly, you could do that yourself," Deidara said.

"As if you don't like doing it," Itachi teased.

Deidara leaned closer and lowered his voice, "Yeah but if I don't stop I might have a little problem if you know what I mean."

Itachi chuckled and sat up to finish applying the lotion on his body himself.

After that they waited a little. Itachi just lay down on his towel and motioned for Deidara to come closer. The blonde did as he was told willingly, and he rested his head on Itachi's shoulder.

"You know, it's so much better that you're here with me."

Deidara smiled.

But then Itachi added, "I don't have to deal with girls hitting on me all the time."

He pulled away and frowned. "Way to ruin the moment – again!"

Itachi just laughed softly.

Amongst the crowded beach they saw Naruto and Sasuke walk up to them. A group of teenagers nearby had started playing dance music on their radio, and soon Naruto exclaimed, "Let's go out tonight!"

"You're aware legal age to drink is 21 right?" Sasuke raised a brow at him.

"So? I just wanna dance."

"I don't think they'll even let you in."

Naruto made a face. "I look 18. They'll let me in."

Mikoto suddenly sighed, "Do I get a say in this at all?"

No one replied. Minato put his page mark and put down his book on his towel. He grabbed his wallet.

"Should we go get our equipment?" he asked.

"Yeah!" Naruto exclaimed.

"Put on sunscreen Sasuke!" Mikoto said.

Her youngest son rolled his eye and picked up the bottle she was handing him. He very quickly put some lotion on his shoulders and face.

"You have to put it everywhere," she insisted.

"I'll just do it while we're walking or whatever," he said.

Deidara and Itachi got up as well, and followed them. The blonde now noticed why Itachi had mentioned the girls hitting on him before. He did get his share of lustful looks from females. Well, Deidara couldn't really blame them; the guy was gorgeous.

Despite Deidara's protests Minato got some equipment for the five of them. They went to the bathrooms to get changed.

And then Naruto, Sasuke and Minato went for it. "Attacking the waves," Naruto had said.

As for Itachi and Deidara, they stayed behind because Itachi wanted to give him his first lesson. And Deidara felt silly, stupid and, well, terrified.

First Itachi explained that he would have to lie down on the stupid thing and paddle like an idiot. Well, he didn't exactly use those terms, but that was how Deidara saw it.

"When you get up it's kinda like a push up, actually. And you just place the foot you choose on front. Most people use their left foot."

Itachi placed himself behind Deidara as he explained how to place himself. He briefly touched his sides with his hands.

"Was that really necessary?" Deidara whispered, amused.

"No it was just an excuse to touch you."

"That's what I thought."

"So… let's try it."

Deidara glanced at the water, feeling uneasy. He could see Naruto, his father, and Sasuke out there having fun. They were not that good, and were often falling.

As if Itachi could read his mind, he explained, "We do this only once a year, and it's not every day the weather allows it. So don't worry about not being good; we're not that good either."

Deidara gave a little nod, but he was still scared. He had no balance whatsoever. He tried to tell Itachi, but of course he didn't listened.

They walked towards the water with their surfboards. Itachi led him where there weren't too many people. He lied down on his board and Deidara imitated him. He wasn't as fast though, and he stayed a little behind. But that was totally okay with him; he simply watched as Itachi gave it a try.

He totally nailed it. He was sliding on the wave just like in those videos of professional surfers. Now Deidara really felt stupid. He didn't want to try it because he just knew there was no way he was going to be able to do that.

After a few minutes Itachi fell in the water again, and came back towards him. He flipped his wet bangs out of his face and smiled.

"What are you waiting for? Give it a try at least!"

"You're good!" Deidara whined, "Why did you say that you weren't that good before? I should've known… you're good at everything."

They had gotten off their surfboards at this point. The water reached their necks. Itachi moved closer to slide his arm around his thin waist. He pulled him into a kiss.

"It's just for fun," Itachi said when they pulled away, "no big deal."

Deidara found himself giving in. He managed to get back on the board after a few tries, and then he followed Itachi's lead. He tried to get up – and fell. Thankful for the string attaching his foot to the board, he found it again.

He was choking water and his eyes burned, and yet he realized he wanted to try again. So they kept at it for an hour and a half. Deidara kept falling, but every time he told himself that maybe it was the right one, and that maybe he would be able to do it. Besides, they were having fun. Itachi was always smiling at him, and swimming towards him so that he could kiss him briefly.

Then Itachi wanted to take a break.

"I don't wanna get a sun burn," he said as they walked, the water now reaching their knees.

"But you used sunscreen…"

"Yeah I'll have to put some more," Itachi said, "and before you make fun of me for being too careful, wait 'til you see Sasuke tomorrow. It's like that every year," he sighed as he looked behind them, and towards where his brother and the others were still practicing.

"What he gets sun burns?" Deidara asked.

"Yeah," Itachi said, running his fingers through his wet hair. "And it's not pretty."

"But doesn't he get a little tan after at least? You guys could use some tan…"

Itachi stared at him.

"What!" Deidara chuckled, "It's true, you're so pale…"

"To answer your first question, no, he doesn't get a tan. His skin's just red, and then eventually white again. And," he feigned an offended tone, "don't you like me the way I am?"

"Yeah I do," Deidara smiled, "come to think of it you'd look strange with tan skin."

Itachi smiled at that. They walked side by side on the beach amongst all the groups of people sunbathing, talking and eating. Some of them were drinking beer and listening to music.

"Seriously though," the raven said, "what about you, do you get a tan when you go in the sun a lot?"

He nodded, "Yeah… maybe not as much as Naruto and his father but, I don't know, you'll see."

When they reached Itachi's mother, she was still reading, only now she was at the end of her novel. They put down their surfboards, picked up their swimming trunks and went to change in the bathrooms again.

When they returned Deidara noticed Mikoto was sipping at a bottle of water. It made him realize how thirsty he was.

Itachi probably shared the same feeling because he went to look in the icebox his parents had brought. Instead of water though, he took out two beers.

Deidara rolled his eyes, but took it anyway.

"What?" Itachi asked.

"You," Deidara accused, "you always make me drink."

Itachi just shrugged and sat on his towel. He asked his mother how her novel was. On the meantime Deidara sat next to him and proceeded to try to untangle the mess that was his hair. First he untied it and shook his head with his eyes closed, and then ran his fingers through the now slightly curly and wet locks as a makeshift comb.

When he opened his eyes again, he realized Itachi's dark eyes were locked on him, and he had lust and desire written all over his handsome face. Deidara grinned. Itachi leaned closer almost unconsciously, it seemed. They kissed softly, but were interrupted by a camera click. They both stared at Mikoto.

She smiled helplessly, "I couldn't resist."

They laughed, and Itachi turned to look at him again. He reached with his pale fingers to run them through Deidara's long hair, finishing the job for him. Deidara closed his eyes, leaning into his touch. Itachi's hand caressed the back of his neck, giving him a little massage. Deidara opened his eyes again and smiled.

They both picked up their beer at the same time, so they decided to make a toast.

"To us," Itachi said, "to every moment we spend together."

They drank. Deidara had been so thirsty that he allowed himself to take a couple long gulps. After putting his beer down Itachi leaned even closer. He wrapped his arm around him and pulled him close. Deidara leaned into him, resting his head in the crook of his shoulder. Itachi's fingers trailed down his arm. He caressed the skin on the inside of his arm, tracing every tiny white scar.

"I'm glad you stopped," he whispered in his ear, and kissed his hair.

Deidara's reply was quiet, and soft, "Couldn't have done it without you."

Minato, Sasuke and Naruto joined them after that. They each took a beer – Mikoto insisted that the boys should only take one. As for Deidara and Itachi, they started drinking their second one.

It wasn't long before Naruto returned swimming, dragging Sasuke along with him. As for Minato and Mikoto, and Itachi and Deidara, they stayed on the beach sipping at their beer – or water. They didn't move from the shade because them Uchiha were scared for their skin. But even though Deidara teased Itachi gently about it, he didn't mind. He didn't think he could get much happier than this; being in the arms of the one he loved, relaxed, no worries clouding his mind.

Actually after drinking his two beers – quite fast at that – he was starting to feel a little… horny. And Itachi probably felt the same because his hands had begun to do quite some exploring. They were circling his thin waist, and then they moved dangerously low. Itachi's fingers brushing the skin of his lower stomach made something stir under his swimming trunks.

Deidara turned to face Itachi, blushing, "What the hell?" he whispered, "your parents are right there…"

Itachi pretended to be thoughtful. His hands were now caressing Deidara's back – it seemed he couldn't take his hands off him, literally.

"Do you want to hear my logical deduction?" Itachi asked.

Deidara raised a brow.

The raven smirked, "There's no one at the house."

He couldn't help but smile. He bit his lip as they got up in a silent agreement.

"We'll be right back," Itachi told his parents.

He slid his hand around Deidara's waist and pulled him close as they walked. When they were close enough to the house Itachi suddenly stopped and kissed him passionately. Deidara kissed back, and felt himself becoming hard. He grinned as they finally pulled away.

"You couldn't wait like, ten more steps to the door?"

"No," Itachi breathed against his lips, and kissed him again.

After that though Itachi did lead him inside. As soon as the door was closed he pushed Deidara against it and crashed their lips together once more.

Soon unwanted clothes were discarded on the floor, and Deidara was picked up and led to the bedroom. On the bed they rolled over, their hands all over each other, constantly flipping positions and exploring every inch of each other's body with their hands and their lips as well. They grinded against each other harshly and kissed passionately over and over again.

"You don't look nervous anymore," Itachi smiled.

"What can I say? Drinking makes me horny…"

"Why do you think I like making you drink?" He smirked and flipped their positions again, so that Deidara was on top. He flushed their bodies and kissed his lips.

Deidara knew he was kidding, and he knew Itachi would never take advantage of him. It was that particular trust between them – and not the alcohol – which helped him getting rid of his anxiety.

After they had given each other tons of pleasure, mostly in the form of blow jobs, they simply lay down in each other's arms. After a moment Itachi went to get a bottle of water in the fridge. Drinking beer had been fun, but not exactly rehydrating.

While Itachi drank quietly Deidara went to get his sketchbook. He flipped the pages until he got to his design ideas for Itachi's second tattoo.

"Hey Itachi," he said softly.

"Mm?" the other looked over his shoulder at the sketchbook.

"I was thinking of offering your second tattoo as your Christmas gift. I mean you wouldn't have to pay for it at all."

"If you want," Itachi smiled. He lifted his hand and brushed Deidara's hair behind his shoulder, and then placed a soft kiss there.

He flipped another page, and held his breath. "What do you think of this one?"

Itachi took the sketchbook to look at it more closely. It was a design Deidara had made thinking about Itachi and himself – their relationship together. It was nothing special; a dagger and rose tattoo. But he knew Itachi wouldn't want anything too extravagant. It was all black, except for the rose, which had some blue inside it. It was still pretty dark, and would fit for a guy. There was a small "D" in one of the petals, although it could easily be missed. In the same way there was a small "I" in the hilt of the dagger. Deidara wondered if Itachi would notice.

His smile as he looked at the blond told him that he had. "It's beautiful. I love it."

Deidara blushed slightly as he pointed at the letters, "If you want I can just take those off."

"No, leave it. Actually when I asked you to come up with a design for my second tattoo I was secretly hoping you'd draw something that represents us. This is perfect."

Deidara smiled, and kissed him softly. "It would look good on your leg, I mean, same place as my guitar tattoo. And maybe on your right side, since you already have one on your left arm."

Itachi nodded thoughtfully. "I'll think about it. I mean don't get me wrong I do want this design, but I'll think about where I want it. I'll probably go with your idea though."

"Okay," Deidara said softly.

He closed the sketchbook and put it aside, and he wrapped his arms around Itachi, holding him tight. He loved him so much. He realized it now, yet he didn't say it. Maybe it was too soon. Maybe it would be better to wait for Itachi to say it first, since it was always him making the first moves in their relationship. Or maybe he would say it later, during the night. All he knew at that moment was that he loved Itachi, and that he never wanted to let go of him.


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

That evening, the Uchiha brothers found themselves sitting at a table inside a nice gay night club downtown, accompanied by their sexy blonde boyfriends.

"I can't believe they let you in with your father's card," Itachi chuckled addressed Naruto.

The sixteen year old shrugged, and took a sip of beer. Mister Casual.

Sasuke snorted, "He was so nervous that they probably let him in out of pity."

"No!" Naruto protested, "I wasn't nervous!"

Deidara shook his head slightly, "I just can't believe your father gave you his card in the first place."

"That's because he's the awesomest father ever," Naruto smiled.

Deidara smiled back, "Well I'm glad you guys are here. This is like a double date."

"So you guys are finally gonna be official then?" Sasuke inquired.

"Yeah," Itachi answered, taking Deidara's hand under the table.

Sasuke smiled teasingly, "Your first boyfriend 'tachi, was about time."

Itachi was unfazed. "I was waiting for the right person."

"Aww," Deidara teased.

They bought some more drinks and continued talking, and then the four of them went dancing.

"I'm so hot," Deidara said at some point.

"Indeed you are," Itachi whispered in his ear, amused.

"No…" the blonde chuckled, "I mean, with this shirt…"

Itachi started unbuttoning it for him.

"What are you doing?"

"You have something underneath," Itachi caressed the hem of the tank top with his hand, "so what's the problem?"

Deidara blushed slightly, "I don't want to lose this shirt…"

Itachi smiled. It was the dark blue shirt he'd bought for him a couple weeks ago. "All right. Well, wear it open like this at least."

He finished unbuttoning it, and he also rolled up the sleeves for him. Then he slid his hands around Deidara's thin waist and pulled him closer to kiss him.

As they danced and continued kissing like this, Itachi soon realized something was wrong. Deidara couldn't keep up, and he was breathing heavily.

"Are you okay?" Itachi said, pulling away to give him some air.

He frowned slightly, "I'm sorry, I think I'm gonna go outside for a minute… You stay with your brother and Naruto and have fun. I'll be right back."

Itachi frowned as he watched him walk away. He waited a few minutes, but Deidara wasn't coming back. He glanced at Naruto and Sasuke. They were having so much fun together that they wouldn't even notice if he was gone. So he went outside.

He frowned when he saw that a guy was talking to Deidara. He was leaning closer and the blonde was clearly uncomfortable. He heard what they were saying as he walked towards them quickly.

"…just relax…"

"I don't wanna fucking relax, just leave me alone…"

Itachi grabbed the guy's arm and yanked him away roughly.

"What's your problem?" He asked angrily.

"You," Itachi said coldly, "he's with me so back off."

He muttered something Itachi didn't get, and then he finally left them alone. When Itachi turned to look at Deidara, the latter threw himself in his arms.

"You're always saving me," he whispered in his ear. "Thanks…"

"You don't have to thank me…"

Itachi traced circles on his back soothingly. He heard that Deidara's breathing was still rather difficult.

"Do you wanna go…?"

"Yeah…" Deidara said sadly, "I guess I ruined the evening."

"No, of course not."

"What about your brother and Naruto?"

"They'll be fine…"

Itachi pondered going back inside to tell them they were leaving, but he chose to just text them instead. He didn't want to leave Deidara alone. Then they found a taxi nearby and hopped in. As Itachi told the driver their address, Deidara leaned back against his seat and closed his eyes.

"Are you okay?"

Deidara nodded slightly. Itachi frowned, wondering why he was suffering from asthma now.

"We didn't dance that much…"

"It happens sometimes… it's a pain in the ass."

They stayed silent for the rest of the drive home. Itachi paid and they walked towards the door. Careful not to wake up Itachi's parents they made their way to their bedroom. Deidara used his inhaler while Itachi opened the window.

"See, it's a good thing you have this, right?" Itachi said when he noticed Deidara's breathing already seemed better.

"Oh shut up," Deidara said half-teasing.

"Come here," Itachi slid his arms around Deidara's thin waist, and then he proceeded to take off his shirt completely.

Itachi trailed his fingers across his arms. He then traced the tattoo on his left shoulder blade.

"You have a sun burn," he eventually said as he caressed his shoulders.

The skin was a little red there, and also, he now noticed, in his face. But it wasn't so bad.

Deidara simply shrugged. He pressed himself closer and buried his face in Itachi's neck.

"I'm a little tired," he said.

They pulled away and stripped to their boxers, before crawling in the bed. Itachi caressed Deidara's hair as he watched the perfect, adorable face slowly relax into sleep.

"I love you," he whispered.

Deidara's beautiful blue eyes opened, revealing that he hadn't been completely asleep yet. Itachi's words had just come out, but he sure didn't regret them. They were true, and came from deep within him.

The blonde smiled a beautiful, sincere smile, "I love you too."

They kissed softly, and closed their eyes again. Itachi kissed Deidara's hair, and a small smile lingered on his lips even as he drifted into sleep.

His sleep was interrupted two hours later though. Deidara was agitated, and he seemed in pain. But he was asleep, it was only a dream. Itachi tried to wake him up.

"No," Deidara was moaning desperately, "don't… no…" he was crawling away from Itachi in the large bed.

Itachi took his arm, but it was a mistake. Deidara struggled in fear.

"Wake up," Itachi said, leaning closer. "It's just me…"

Deidara's eyes finally opened and he whispered, "Itachi."

"You okay?" The raven asked, worried.

"Yeah," he said, but a tear lingered at the corner of his eye.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

Deidara nodded, but no sound came out of his lips. Itachi pulled him close, and the blonde placed his arm around Itachi's waist and rested his head in the crook of his shoulder.

"I'm just glad you're with me," he finally said, "it's been a while since I've had a nightmare like this."

"Dei I've been thinking…" Itachi said slowly, caressing his hair.

"What?" the other whispered.

"These guys need to pay for what they did to you."

Deidara tensed, and pulled away. "No. I mean, what's the point? It's been like, years…"

"Do you remember their names?" Itachi asked, lifting himself up on his shoulders.

He hesitated, "Well…"

"Do you?" Itachi insisted.

"Yeah but… I don't want to see them ever again."

"I understand," the raven said softly, "but I can't bear the thought that they hurt you and got away with it…"

"It's in the past…"

"But it still hurts you."

Deidara flinched.

Itachi sighed, "I want to find them and I don't know... break their fucking legs or something."

It was a harsh way to bring up the subject, but this had been in his mind for a while now. Deidara's nightmare had just forced it out.

To his surprise, Deidara made a little smile. "It does sound tempting when you put it like that…"

Itachi made a brief smile, but then seriously he added, "Let me do this for you. I wish I could have protected you, but like you said, it's in the past, and I didn't know you back then. So let me do this for you now."

Deidara took a deep breath, and went to get his notebook. He ripped off a blank page and picked up his pen.

"What are you doing?" Itachi asked.

He didn't answer. Instead he wrote down a few names. He gave the piece of paper to Itachi.

"Before I change my mind," he said, "But hey, promise me something."

Itachi looked up, "What?"

"Don't put yourself in danger, all right? Not ever."

There was so much worry in these beautiful blue eyes. Itachi got up and they held each other close.

…

In the morning Deidara was sick, and Itachi didn't know what to do to help him. He wanted to comfort him, but the blonde had locked himself in the bathroom. The others were already on the beach, and they would only come back for dinner.

He went to knock on the door. "Are you okay?"

"I'm awesome."

Itachi sighed, "Just let me come in."

"No…"

He sighed again, and walked away, returning to the bed and to his book. But he definitely wasn't able to concentrate with Deidara throwing up and coughing in there…

He got up again, determined this time.

"Let me come in," he insisted.

"No it's gross…"

"I don't care!"

Deidara finally unlocked the door. He was still in his boxers, and he had put on one of Itachi's t-shirts, which was too big for him. His messy hair was tied up and his face pale. After he opened the door he leaned onto the closest wall and crawled to the floor. Itachi bit his lip.

"Baby…" he whispered as he sat down next to him, "tell me what I can do to help?"

"Don't worry about me, you should go have fun with your family…"

"No I'm staying."

He wrapped his arm around Deidara's frail shoulders and pulled him closer softly. The blonde, too weak to resist, leaned against him. He was clutching his stomach with his hand.

"Was it something you ate or…?"

"I don't know, it just does that sometimes, when I get a virus or whatever. It's fucking annoying…" he winced in pain and Itachi frowned.

"You don't have to stay in here. Let's go back to the bedroom…"

Deidara nodded, and Itachi helped him up. Once the younger male was lying down comfortably on the bed, Itachi climbed next to him and caressed his hair, brushing aside his long bangs. He noticed his skin was abnormally hot.

"You have a fever," he said.

"No shit."

"You don't have to be mean to me, you know?" Itachi said as he pulled away.

Deidara winced in pain again as he clutched his stomach, and he looked at him with sad blue eyes.

"I'm sorry Itachi, it's just… I'd rather you had fun with your family than being stuck here with me."

"I _want_ to stay with you, get that into your stupid head."

"Now you're the one being mean," Deidara teased.

Itachi rolled his eyes. "Hey do you want some pain killers or something?"

"No I'll just throw up again…" he glanced away.

"All right…"

After a moment of silence Deidara said, "Well, since you want to stay here and you have nothing to do… I guess you could…"

"What?" Itachi asked softly.

"Read… one of my stupid stories… or something."

"You're serious?"

"Yeah," he made a little smile as he turned to look at him. "I keep some of them on my USB plug. It's somewhere in my bag…"

Itachi had already jumped off the bed to take a look. He had always been curious as to what Deidara's stories were like. His laptop was already opened, so when he found the plug he looked through the folders right away.

"Read the one called Afterdeath. It's just a stupid temporary title, but… Anyway, I think it's my best one so far."

"Will you stop saying that it's stupid?"

Itachi placed his pillow against the wall and leaned on it as he sat on the bed. Deidara was curled up on his side with an arm folded under his head, looking at him. So he started reading.

At first the blonde was looking at his reactions, but soon he fell asleep. Itachi kept on reading. He couldn't help but smile; this story was similar to their relationship, in a way. Sure the context was post-apocalyptic and there were vampires and other fucked up creatures, but still…

Deidara had not finished it, but it was still the length of a small novel. And it wasn't bad at all. He couldn't wait for Deidara to wake up, so they could talk about it. On the meantime, he went to get him some water.

Then he sat on the bed again and killed some time by checking his emails. A few minutes later Deidara woke up with a pained moan.

Itachi looked at him, concerned, "Still feeling sick?"

Deidara nodded and sat up, hugging his knees.

"At least drink some water," Itachi handed him the glass.

The blond only took a small sip, but it was better than nothing.

"So…" Itachi started with a little smile, "why am I some vampire girl in your story?"

Some color returned to Deidara's face in the form of a blush.

"What?" Itachi mocked, "You seriously thought I wouldn't notice? She's tall and slender with raven hair, black eyes and pale skin. And her name is Tashia. Come on."

"It's just…" Deidara muttered, "I thought, if I were to ever publish it, well, stories of a girl and a guy are more popular, so…"

"Why'd you make me the girl? You should be the girl."

"Shut up…"

"I'm just messing with you Dei the story's really awesome and bad ass. You should really continue it. I hope they end up together."

Deidara rolled his eyes, still blushing slightly, "Oh shut up."

Itachi smiled and leaned closer, "I'm serious though. I liked it."

"I don't believe you. You're saying that just to cheer me up 'cause I'm sick."

"God you're so annoying sometimes!" Itachi exclaimed. But contradicting his words he kissed Deidara's cheek, and then his forehead tenderly.

"You'll catch my virus," the blond protested.

"I never get sick," Itachi shrugged.

"You're such a lucky bastard."

"Didn't we have this conversation before?"

"…Probably."

The raven chuckled into his cheek. Then he said, "Drink some more water, or you'll be dehydrated."

Deidara hesitated, "What if I just throw up again?"

"I said, drink."

"Fine!"

…

On Christmas night, even though the warm weather and palm trees outside didn't exactly put Deidara in the spirit well, it was nice. He was still feeling a bit sick, but he'd taken a shower and put on jeans and t-shirt and now he was sitting on the couch and leaning on Itachi's shoulder.

The whole family had eaten a nice dinner and now Mikoto had insisted that they looked up old pictures on Itachi's laptop. The latter was rather embarrassed because his mother kept telling everyone stories about his childhood.

"…he was such a sore loser that whenever we taught him a new game he hid in his bedroom and practiced so hard, just to make sure no one could ever beat him at it," she was saying at some point and Itachi rolled his eyes and glanced away.

Deidara chuckled and pressed himself closer to the raven.

"Well I could never beat him at anything," Sasuke said somewhat bitterly.

He was sitting at the other end of the couch with Naruto on his lap, and he glanced at Itachi.

"You know, you could've let me win once in a while just to make me happy I mean I was just a little kid and you always had to rub it in my face that you were so much better at everything."

"You poor baby," Naruto exclaimed teasingly, making everyone laugh.

"Shut up you it's not funny," Sasuke pushed the blond off his lap.

Naruto fell to the floor but he was still laughing.

"What about you Deidara," Minato asked, "how were you as a kid?"

He tensed slightly but then he felt Itachi's hold tightened around him and he felt safe. He didn't have to go into details here, after all.

"I was a loner," he shrugged slightly, "I spent lots of time outside just, you know, going on little adventures on my own I guess."

"Well," Mikoto smiled, "you were a kid and taking care of yourself already, that's quite something. You must be really strong."

Itachi kissed his hair, "He is."

Deidara's face heated up slightly, not really enjoying being the center of attention all of a sudden. But then the conversations drifted and he felt safe again. He felt like as long as he was in Itachi's arms he would feel safe.

…

The rest of the vacations went by the same way it had started. It felt like something out of a beautiful dream to Deidara. He was spending all of his time with Itachi. They were surfing sometimes – which he still sucked at, but at least they were having fun – and other times simply swimming or hanging out at the beach.

They also went for walks downtown together, shopping or just walking in the streets close to each other and exchanging smiles. They also spent a lot of time at the house, more specifically in the bedroom… or the shower.

Deidara absolutely loved these heated sessions with Itachi because he wasn't nervous anymore. He wasn't scared to be intimate with him. They were pleasuring each other in ways that Deidara had never thought possible. They were discovering each other's bodies, every little spot that brought particular sensations.

But this one night, the night just before packing up and going to the airport, Itachi said something Deidara hadn't expected.

They were in the bed in each other's arms kissing passionately and moaning and whispering sweet words to one another. The house was completely silent so they had to be quiet. They both breathed sharply when their erections came in contact. Itachi pulled him even closer and kissed his neck so intensely that it would surely leave marks, but Deidara didn't care. It felt amazing, as always…

"Dei…" Itachi whispered in his ear.

"Yeah?"

The raven pulled away so that he could look into his eyes.

"I… I think you should…"

He frowned slightly, and caressed Itachi's cheek, "What is it? You think I should what?"

"Fuck me," he whispered.

Blue eyes widened and he tried to pull away but Itachi held him close.

"No…"

"Why not?" Itachi asked softly.

"Because I know what you're trying to do. You want me to see that it's not a big deal, and that you're enjoying it or whatever…"

"No, you don't get it…"

Deidara went on, "And then you want me to feel guilty that I'm not letting you do the same…"

"No, stop it!" Itachi exclaimed, raising his voice a little.

The blonde went quiet, ready to listen to his explanation. Deep down he knew that Itachi would never want him to feel guilty.

"I just want to give myself to you, like I've never given myself to anyone before. That's it."

"You've never…?"

"No," Itachi chuckled lightly, "I'm definitely a top."

"I guess I should've known. I just hate thinking about all those other guys you fucked…"

"It was before meeting you," he said softly.

"I know that."

They both sighed and pulled away from each other a little. Deidara looked down but Itachi cupped his chin to lift his face softly.

"So you don't want to?"

"No…"

"Why? Tell me the real reason."

"Because… I do feel guilty."

Itachi gave another light chuckle and he wrapped his arms around Deidara's slender frame to pull him close again.

"Why?"

"You know why," the blonde whispered, burying his face in the crook of Itachi's neck.

"So you want to wait then?"

"Yeah…"

Itachi sighed but he kissed his hair and caressed his back with his hands softly. Deidara knew that he didn't want to show his disappointment.

Without really thinking he added, "I want you to fuck me first."

Now it was Itachi's turn to pull away and to look at him with dark eyes wide in shock.

"Not tonight," Deidara quickly added, "but… soon."

Itachi's beautiful lips curled up into a wicked smile, and Deidara couldn't help but laugh.

"You pervert…"

Itachi hugged him again, laughing softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Deidara said back, still smiling. Yeah, soon…


	17. Chapter 17

_Hey… it's been forever. Seriously, I gave up on this story, and I have no excuse really, I'm a horrible person – more like I lost my inspiration. But recently I realized I couldn't just leave unfinished stories like that. You have every right to hate me and decide not to read this. But I'm trying to write a decent ending for this, for whoever might be out there reading. _

Chapter 17

Packing up and getting ready to leave felt extremely depressing to Deidara. He didn't want to go, because this whole vacation had gone by way too fast. He wanted to keep spending all of his time with Itachi, he didn't want it to end.

In the plane he slept pretty much the whole time. He hadn't gotten much sleep the night before after all.

"Are you okay?" Itachi asked him when he woke up.

He made a little smile and pressed himself closer to the raven, "Yeah," he said in a low voice, and he closed his eyes again.

Itachi kissed his hair and said, "We still have like, an hour left, so you can go back to sleep."

"But it's boring for you," Deidara protested.

He pulled away and they locked eyes. He reached out to place raven bangs behind his ear.

"Tell me what's wrong, seriously," Itachi insisted.

The blonde sighed and glanced away, "It's just… I didn't want it to end," he admitted, "I mean, now you're gonna go back to school, and I have to work, and we won't have time to see each other."

"Of course we'll have time! I'll always have time for you," he frowned slightly.

"Me too," Deidara added quickly, "but I mean, it won't be the same."

Itachi wrapped his arms around the smaller male and held him tight.

"We still have tomorrow off. You'll sleep at my place tonight and then we can spend the day together."

Deidara chuckled, "I like how you're not asking, but just ordering me."

The rest of the travel back home was uneventful, and so was the ride back to Itachi's house. The main problem was that they were extremely cold in this rough weather and the annoying teenagers in the back seat kept harassing Itachi to put the heat at max.

Just like Itachi said, Deidara decided to stay the night with the Uchiha family. Everyone was tired and they just retired to their respective bedrooms, leaving the unpacking for tomorrow.

After the vacation, Deidara actually felt like he belonged with this family. He just wanted to be with Itachi all the time. He dreaded the next day, when he would have to go back to his apartment alone.

But at the moment he made some efforts to clear his thoughts, and he sat on the bed, smiling, as Itachi handed him a package.

He shook his head, embarrassed, "You didn't have to get me anything…"

"I wanted to," Itachi replied softly.

Deidara unpacked it, and laughed when he saw what Itachi's gift was.

"A winter coat," he nodded, "I should've seen that one coming."

It was really nice, actually, all in black leather. As always, Itachi had managed to find something that fit his style and was fancy at the same time.

"I love it," he said sincerely.

Itachi smiled and leaned closer to kiss him.

"I love you," he replied.

Deidara pushed him away softly, "I don't even have anything for you."

"I don't care," Itachi tried to kiss him again.

"You should…"

"You're gonna give me a free tattoo, right?" The raven argued, "That's a pretty cool gift."

It was such a tease to have Itachi's beautiful, full lips so close yet Deidara kept his hands on the taller male's shoulders firmly to maintain a distance between them.

"Yeah but it's not really… I mean…"

"Just shut up," Itachi chuckled, "who cares about a stupid Christmas gift…"

"But I would've given you that for free anyway," Deidara argued.

"And I would've have bought you this anyway," Itachi replied.

"Mm…" Deidara finally let Itachi kiss him, and they ended up lying down on the bed together. In between two kisses he said, "It's a good thing I have it, cause after coming back from the South I feel like it's so fucking cold here…"

"Are you cold right now?" Itachi whispered.

"A little…" Deidara admitted.

Itachi didn't lose any time in wrapping his arms around him tightly to warm him up.

It wasn't too long before they fell asleep, exhausted from all this travelling.

They pretty much spent the next day relaxing as well. They were doing everything together, never leaving each other's side. This made Deidara all the more depressed at the thought of going back to his apartment the very next day. How could he deal with being alone when he'd spent the past week constantly with his lover by his side?

This depressed state was not accepted easily by Itachi.

Late in the evening he grabbed his arm and led him outside, in the backyard.

"What the hell, it's so cold…" Deidara complained.

Itachi closed the door and then he went directly to the hot tub, while Deidara stayed behind hugging himself and shaking.

"You're insane," he said through chattering teeth.

Itachi sent him a wicked smile. Deidara suddenly remembered one thing his boyfriend had said back in Miami; he didn't want to use the hot tub there because it was already so hot outside, and he only enjoyed this activity in the cold.

Itachi removed the cover and checked the temperature of the water.

"Perfect," he said, "come here…"

"I don't have my bathing suit."

"Um… Dei… are you really trying to use that excuse? Your bathing suit is still in your luggage, in my bedroom. And honestly, you don't need it anyway, do you?"

The blonde sighed. He was shaking in the cold and just standing there he felt like he would literally freeze. Itachi was still smiling, and honestly Deidara was beginning to suspect he wasn't human because it was way too cold outside to even think about…

"Come on let's do this," Itachi took his hand and uncrossed his arms.

He helped him out of his shirt and then took off his own shirt as well. He pressed their bodies close but as comforting as Itachi's warmth was, Deidara was still trembling like crazy.

"You're insane," he repeated, "you want me to get sick again?"

Itachi leaned closer to whisper in his ear, "That'll give me an excuse to skip my classes and stay by your side all day to take care of you."

"Fuck that," Deidara whispered half-teasing.

The raven chuckled, "Why are you so mad?"

He unbuttoned his jeans and Deidara shivered intensely at the mere idea of being completely naked.

"Why am I… because I'm dying here…"

Itachi chuckled again and in a swift movement he pulled down his jeans and boxers. Deidara stumbled and had no other choice but to step away from the clothes. And Itachi caught him and picked him up, only to put him in the water despite his protests.

"Are you fucking crazy?" He shouted.

It was such a big difference of temperature that his skin felt like it was burning at first. Now he really was mad. But at the same time, the hot water was better than the freezing cold, so he stayed inside.

Itachi quickly took off the rest of his clothes and joined him in the hot tub. He laughed and tried to hug him and kiss him but every time Deidara pushed him away.

"Why did you do that for?" He exclaimed, "You know Itachi, I'm not a fucking pet you can do anything you want with."

"Oh come on," Itachi was unfazed, "don't tell me you don't think this is fun."

He held his gaze defiantly, "As a matter of fact I don't."

Itachi leaned closer and Deidara tried to push him away but this time the raven caught his wrists. The blonde was trapped and there was nothing he could do to escape from him. Itachi tried to kiss him but he turned his head to the side. So instead the raven kissed his neck. His kisses were so soft and warm that Deidara felt his body relax despite himself. And their bodies were dangerously close - also they were naked.

"Get off me," Deidara whispered weakly.

Itachi chuckled in his ear, and at the same time he brought his hand to Deidara's now hard cock.

"I think your body disagrees…"

"…hate you," he muttered.

"…Dei don't be mad, I'm sorry," Itachi whispered in his ear and he started stroking him skillfully at once.

"That's not fair," the blonde breathed out heavily.

It felt so good when Itachi was touching him like that, under the hot water; Deidara had no choice but to give in this sinful pleasure. With each stroke Itachi was bringing him closer to this perfect moment…

But then he stopped.

Deidara opened his eyes and locked them with Itachi's dark, amused ones.

"Oh," the raven smiled triumphantly, "so now you don't want me to get off you anymore…"

Before Deidara could reply, Itachi slid his finger to his entrance and he rubbed it a little teasingly. Blue eyes widened in shock and he tried to get away but Itachi held him close firmly.

"Just relax," he whispered.

"What're you doing?" Deidara asked.

"I'm not doing anything you don't want me to do," Itachi reassured him. But his finger was starting to slide inside, Deidara could feel it.

"Well I don't want you to do this," he snapped.

"Shh… relax."

"Stop telling me to fucking relax…"

His eyes widened again but this time it was because he had felt something rather… nice. Actually more than nice, it was just so intense…

"You want me to stop?" Itachi asked teasingly.

"I… ah… what… are you doing to me…"

"You're so cute," the raven chuckled, "it's called a prostate massage if you must know."

"I know! I'm not a fucking idiot! I just never… thought it could feel so…"

"Good?"

Itachi was holding him and their erections were close to one another. And of course there was this thing he was doing with now two fingers… Indeed it felt so damn good… It was sending waves of pleasure throughout Deidara's body, and he wasn't sure he could hold it in for very long…

"Stop," he breathed, "stop, or I'll… I'll…"

"I don't care," Itachi smiled.

"But… in the water… it's kinda…"

Once more the raven chuckled in his ear, "Fine…"

Itachi stopped and instead wrapped both arms around the smaller male. Eventually Deidara held him back and caressed his smooth skin. He was still trembling from the intense, foreign sensations in his body.

"I kinda hate you and love you at the same time now," the blonde admitted.

"I'm really sorry about before," Itachi kissed his neck, "it's just… you looked so depressed and I wanted to do something fun…"

Deidara rolled his eyes even though the other couldn't see him.

"Yeah, yeah, whatever… But if I get sick it'll be your fault."

"My entire fault. I told you, I'll stay with you day and night if I have to."

"Itachi…"

"Mm what is it?"

"Your dick is kinda…"

It was rubbing on Deidara's hip and he just couldn't take it anymore. Since they weren't letting anything sexual happen in the hot tub, maybe it was better not to hold each other so close as they were completely naked. Itachi got the hint, bit his lip and pulled away reluctantly.

As they sat next to each other, Deidara knew the moment would have to end soon. He pressed himself a little closer as Itachi threw his arm casually around his shoulders. And they allowed themselves to relax quietly just a few more minutes. At some point the raven started saying something, but stopped himself right away. Deidara frowned and turned his head to look into his eyes.

"What was that?"

Itachi had been averting his eyes, and he seemed kind of thoughtful. But when Deidara reached out with his hand to caress his cheek he returned his gaze.

"We should live together."

"You mean like… move in together, in an apartment or…?"

"Yeah," Itachi nodded slowly.

"But… I thought you wanted to stay with your parents…"

"I did," Itachi shrugged, "but now, having you in my life, it makes me see things differently."

Even though the idea was a little bit crazy, Deidara couldn't help but smile.

"We've been together what, a few weeks?"

"Who cares?" Itachi chuckled.

"What if…" the blonde shrugged slightly, "what if we get into a fight?"

He was starting to get a little bit cold because of the wind hitting his upper body so he hugged himself. Itachi squeezed his thin shoulders tightly.

"We'll have make up sex."

Deidara just laughed, glancing away. Itachi's dark eyes were teasing and he was just so handsome. Deidara was cold yet he felt so hot at the same time. Damn, he almost felt sick being this close to Itachi, and not being able to do anything. Maybe he was a pervert too.

Reading his mind Itachi erased the distance between their lips and next thing they knew the two young males were kissing passionately. When they broke for air, Itachi was smiling.

"So what do you say?"

"What about money…"

"What about it?"

"You'll want to live in a nice place, and I can't afford that."

Itachi tilted his head to the side while he ran his fingers across his boyfriend's wet blonde locks.

"Who said you'd have to pay for it?"

"Itachi," Deidara snapped, "if we move in together, I wanna pay half the rent. And I'm just not sure I can so…"

"We'll find a place you can afford then," Itachi replied.

"I'll… think about it."

But the blonde was smiling again. And Itachi smiled back.

"I'll take that as a yes."

"If tomorrow I miss you as much as I think I will, then I'll probably say yes," Deidara whispered as they locked eyes.

Itachi's smile faded a little, "I'll miss you too… All right let's get back inside. It's getting late… I have to go to school tomorrow, and you have to go to work…"

"Ugh… don't remind me."

Itachi chuckled, "Dei you love your job."

"But I hate being away from you."

"Me too… God I think we sound like some lovestruck teens right now."

"Hey I'm nineteen, I'm okay. You're the weird one."

"Fair enough. We should really get out of the water…"

"I'm… working on it," Deidara frowned worriedly as he glanced into the cold, dark night.

They eventually hurried back inside, picking up their clothes on the way. They hugged each other for warmth and then they went to the bathroom, uncaring that water was dropping everywhere – they were way too cold at this point.

After a comforting shower they went to bed, deciding it was better if Itachi drove Deidara home in the morning. But really it was another excuse to spend more time together.

…

At work things got pretty crazy for Deidara. He had _a lot_ of customers. Most people who usually waited to be put on schedule with either Nagato or Sasori now chose Deidara as their tattoo artist instead, because they'd heard around that he was very good and professional despite his young age. Since the blonde had just gotten back from a vacation, well his schedule was full. He was a little bit overwhelmed – but pleased of course – when he found out about this.

"I hope you're ready," Yahiko just told him with a tap on his shoulder.

The slender male bit his lip slightly, repressing a disbelieving smile as he looked at the notebook they used for the schedule. Yeah, of course he was ready. This was what he loved to do. That his talent was finally recognized made him feel extremely good.

With the customers who brought a picture or drawing of their own, it was simple enough. But for people who needed him to come up with a design, well Deidara often discussed it with them then rescheduled for them to come back in a few days, to give him time to actually draw it.

All in all, things were going great. Konan, Yahiko and even Nagato were plain happy for him. And Sasori had a little chat with Deidara in private at some point. He told him that he was seeing someone, and that he hoped they could put what happened a few months ago behind them.

"I wasn't myself. I was so frustrated back then and I was crazy about you. I'm really sorry; I shouldn't have tried to force you I was such an asshole. But yeah I moved on, I just wanted you to know."

Deidara just gave a slight nod, and replied that he appreciated his honesty. Such an apology from Sasori was surprising after all, but in a good way.

So with Itachi they didn't end up seeing each other that week. They texted each other, and that was it. They were both busy with respectively school and work, of course, so it was for the best. Still, they were planning on seeing each other Sunday, for Deidara's day off. Itachi was coming to meet him at his apartment on Sunday morning.

Since things were going so great in his life, the blonde male was doing a lot of thinking. For sure he thought about Itachi's idea of moving in together. Also he thought about sex. A lot. He considered it, and surprisingly, instead of making him feel afraid and apprehensive, he was actually sort of excited and fidgety.

His colleagues no longer recognized him. But they made the assumption that Deidara's good mood was due to the fact that he suddenly had a lot of customers.

Deidara actually got a nice paycheck that week, and he spontaneously decided to get himself a small makeover. Nothing too crazy, basically just some new clothes and shoes, a visit to the hairdresser – he hadn't been there in years. Also he bought a couple new steel studs with color on them, something he'd wanted to do in a while but just never did. Well at least he had a very good price on those.

He was as nervous as could be on Saturday night and didn't get much sleep. The reason for that was of course, he was ready to have sex with his boyfriend now – which Itachi didn't know about yet. But Deidara just knew it. After everything they'd been through together, and especially after everything Itachi had done for him, how could he not be ready? How could he not give him his full trust?

…

Even if he knew nothing of Deidara's intentions, Itachi was pretty excited to see him on Sunday morning. Well just the fact that he got up early on a Sunday morning was saying something. They simply wanted to spend as much time as possible together for the day they both had off.

The streets were really calm. It was just 9 am when Itachi parked his sleek black car in front of the apartment building. There was fresh snow on the ground that had fallen over night. Right now it was sunny, and the air was calm but cold. Just like he used to, Deidara waited for him outside, and when he saw Itachi's car he smiled and walked toward it.

But Itachi was breath taken, Deidara looked… different. He noticed the clothes and hair first. Well his outfit was just plain sexy; black combat boots, stylish black skinny jeans, and the slim black leather jacket Itachi had recently bought him. His hair was loose and sleek, it seemed just a bit shorter with layers, and he had stylish bangs covering the side of his face. Under the sunlight it was golden blonde, and Itachi was glad he hadn't altered his natural hair color because in his opinion it was totally beautiful.

When he sat in the car Itachi noticed a few more things. Well he had eyeliner but that was nothing exceptional for Deidara. Still, Itachi smiled because he knew his boyfriend applied said eyeliner when he wanted to look particularly good for him. He was so silly sometimes. That guy didn't even need to make efforts to look good. But the other changes were some of his piercings actually. In his eyebrow he had a delicate, navy steel barbell with cones. And Itachi couldn't be sure because his hair was hiding most of his ear but he thought he saw glimpses of black and blue where before there had been only silver. The nineteen year old looked absolutely adorable, he decided.

"Come here," Itachi simply said as he leaned closer, and used both hands to place blonde strands behind his ears. Deidara was a little flustered as his boyfriend took a good look at his new jewelry. "Looks cute," he finally said in a low, fond voice before kissing his lips softly.

"I wasn't even sure you'd notice," the smaller male replied.

"Course I noticed," he faked an offended tone as he tried but failed to place Deidara's bangs behind his ear. Stupid sexy emo bangs.

"We sound like some old couple," blushing at their closeness, Deidara pushed him away playfully.

"Oh god we kinda do, don't we?" Itachi laughed, recalling his parents' discussions whenever his mother came back from the hairdresser. "Anyway I just wanted to say you look great."

Deidara seemed nervous for some reason as he looked down at his hands in his lap. "Thanks," he made a slight shrug, "so what do you wanna do?"

"Um… well I'm starving, you?"

"Yeah," he smiled.

Itachi nodded and started driving. They discussed it then chose which restaurant they should go to. Meanwhile Deidara plugged his IPod to the car's sound system and chose a song. It was a lot softer than what he usually listened to. Itachi was pleasantly surprised.

"I love that song." It was Soul meets body, by Death cab for cutie. Deidara smiled knowingly.

"Yeah I know."

"You don't have to change your IPod selection just for me, you know?" Itachi was amused as he kept his eyes on the road. But he could feel Deidara's blue gaze lingering on him.

"So how was your week?" He asked, changing the subject.

"Well I already told you, but…" Itachi proceeded to explain some of the things he'd already texted him during the week. He had a lot of school work already. He needed to really get back into it and keep up his excellent grades to have access to the best internships in the spring.

After that they talked about Deidara's week, and all of his new customers. He told Itachi anecdotes on the tattoo designs he had to do – some of them made the blonde really enthusiastic, some others, not so much.

"There's this weirdo guy… wants a Jesus tattoo," Deidara face palmed.

Itachi chuckled but said, "You have to respect his choice I guess…"

"Yeah… it's still not as bad as the girl that wants her boyfriend's name in a heart I mean come on… I can't believe people still do that sometimes. She'll sure look smart if they break up."

"There's always the cheese grater," Itachi added, recalling the small poster with that particular image, and which said 'tattoo removal' at Deidara's work place.

This made the blonde laugh, "Yeah. Hey remember, like, the first time we talked was because of that poster."

"Yeah I remember," he said and they exchanged a smile.

Later, at the small brunch restaurant they'd chosen – Itachi had chosen, really – they talked about their project of moving in together.

"I still haven't told my parents but I'm definitely looking for something. I'm thinking we should live downtown, close to your work. I mean I have a car so it's easier for me to move around town…"

Deidara tilted his head and replaced his hair behind his shoulder in a swift movement of his hand, "You're really serious about this aren't you?"

"Uh yeah, aren't you?" Itachi was worried all of a sudden.

But Deidara slowly nodded, and locked eyes with him, "Yeah. Let's not rush it though."

"I want to be with you all the time," Itachi insisted, "I don't know if it's a family thing… Seeing my mother and my brother so happy with their partner all the time just makes me jealous I don't get to live with you."

"And I hate living alone when I could be with you," Deidara bit his lip, "but I'm just saying… I don't wanna go too fast. I was thinking, maybe you could…"

"What?" Itachi asked eagerly, leaning forward on the small table. They had both stopped eating for the moment, taken by their conversation. Deidara just took a sip of coffee before replying.

"Never mind, I'll tell you later."

"Dei you're killing me! Just tell me now."

"No I'll tell you later," he insisted, averting his eyes.

"Fine…" he sighed. How cruel… Usually Deidara was so easy to read for Itachi, but right now, he couldn't figure him out. Why was he nervous anyway? What was on his mind?

They dropped the subject. After their meal they walked outside together, but it was a little cold so they eventually just decided to return to Itachi's car. He drove across town with no direction in particular in mind while they listened to Deidara's great music. Eventually he asked what he wanted to do.

"I don't know," the blonde shrugged, looking out the window, "you decide."

"You wanna just go to my place and watch a movie or something?"

Deidara shifted slightly in the seat and said, "Actually… you wanna come over to my place instead?"

"Uh… sure." Itachi didn't particularly like Deidara's place. Not only was it a really old building, but his apartment was really small and utterly messy. But he'd pretty much do anything to make his boyfriend happy.

It turned out, when they got there, Itachi almost didn't recognize his apartment. Deidara was looking at him expectantly as they stood in the entrance, in between the living room and kitchen area and the small bedroom. The place was tidy and clean; no clothes on the floor, no food leftovers, no dirty dishes in the sink. Itachi was impressed. Not only could he step on the floor without tripping on something, but the place really did look clean. Deidara had clearly spent a lot of time making this place look decent.

"Wow," he chuckled.

"I… I guess I wanted to hum…" Deidara glanced around and flipped his bangs to the side, "Show you that you wouldn't have to pick up after me all the time if we do end up living together, you know?"

"What makes you think I was worried about that," Itachi said as he slipped off his shoes. Deidara imitated him, leaning onto the wall as he got rid of his boots.

"Come on you're a neat freak Itachi," he said with a small smile, "back in Miami you always picked up after me and it made me realize I should make some efforts to change that…"

"You did all this for me?"

"Yeah…" Again Itachi got the impression that Deidara was a little nervous.

He stepped in his bedroom and took off his jacket, putting it on his chair. He also took off his hoodie which left him in just a sexy, tiny black tank top. With his silver chain belt and black skinny jeans he looked too hot for words and how the hell was Itachi supposed to stay away from him?

So the raven took off his coat adding it to the pile, and then stepped closer to his boyfriend to caress his bare arms. They kissed softly, before pulling away and locking lidded eyes. The next instant Itachi slid his arm around Deidara's thin waist and kissed him more intensely, using his tongue to tease him a little. They both smiled through the kiss before deepening it even more.

Itachi ran his pale slender fingers through golden blonde locks. Then he slid his hands down his back, feeling the curve of his lower back and sexy little ass. He couldn't resist giving it a squeeze which surprised Deidara a little. But he didn't stop kissing him passionately, and his hands were doing some exploring of their own. Actually soon he was lifting his shirt. They broke the kiss so that Itachi could lift his arm as his boyfriend slid the fabric off him and threw it across the room.

"Making a mess again already," Itachi teased gently.

"Shut up," he whispered and captured his full lips in another deep kiss.

They were at it for a few long minutes. It was their most intense making out session so far and Itachi wondered where this was going. Well, if they ended up just doing this all day it would still be awesome. But of course the raven craved more. His growing erection was already beginning to hurt in his tight pants. And he could tell Deidara was in the same situation as he pressed his thigh in between his legs slightly.

The blonde didn't freak out; actually he moaned through the kiss and leaned into Itachi even more.

"You're so intense today," Itachi breathed into his cheek, panting.

"I don't hear you complaining," he teased but there was still this nervousness to his voice. It was hard to notice but Itachi was beginning to know him very well.

"What's on your mind?" Itachi whispered, cupping Deidara's cheek with his hand.

"Nothing," Deidara kissed him and grinded into his hips to distract him. Needless to say it worked.

Itachi just lost it. He wanted to feel more of Deidara so it wasn't long before he got rid of the tank top. He just wanted to flush their heated bodies and hold him so tight. At some point he stopped kissing his lips, only so that he could trail his lips across his jaw, and reach his ear. Placing the thick blonde locks behind his shoulder he licked his ear, purposely breathing heatedly. Deidara shivered violently in his arms and Itachi squeezed him tight. He proceeded to give him a hickey just below his ear, and he could tell the slender male absolutely loved it. He was entangling his fingers in Itachi's hair, almost tugging at it aggressively. This was way more intense than what they were used to. Sexual tension was at its highest and that was saying something.

"Dei," he breathed in his ear as their clothed erections rubbed onto one another… god he couldn't control himself any longer. "I want you so bad…"

Itachi was shocked as Deidara didn't reply, instead leading him to his bed. He even took the lead and unbuttoned Itachi's jeans. When he was completely naked, the raven smirked and returned the favor, slipping Deidara out of his clothes. They lay down on the small bed together, messing up the turquoise colored sheets already as they continued making out.

Now Itachi was expecting some amazing hand job or blow job action and that was totally fine. But actually, Deidara was the one who seemed to want to take things in a new direction. He actually spread his legs while locking eyes with Itachi so suggestively, and the moment was so intense that the taller male held his breath.

Eventually he went still and asked, "What are we doing?"

"Itachi… I'm ready…" he finally revealed and a weight seemed to be lifted off his shoulders. "I want to do it now."

"Are you sure? I mean…" he frowned. It was difficult to think clearly when he was so turned on, and the sexy blonde male was very much naked under him. And he was spreading his legs and… oh god. Itachi had to close his eyes for a moment to try to calm down.

"I'm sure," Deidara caressed Itachi's hair, replacing it behind his ears almost tenderly. By now his hair tie had joined the scattered clothes on the floor.

"Really?"

"Yes, really!" He laughed softly.

"But… what made you change your mind?" The raven was confused. Sure he was happy but he didn't understand…

Deidara swallowed and glanced away. He seemed to be gathering his thoughts. Itachi pulled away from him because this position was way too distracting. He ended up sitting on the side of the bed and Deidara crawled closer to him. Itachi wrapped one arm around his waist.

"Well you," he finally answered, "you made me change my mind. You're amazing Itachi. You fixed me," he whispered, voice full of contained emotions.

Itachi felt warm inside yet there was a pang in his chest. He also felt very emotional all of a sudden. They were still hard and turned on though, as they sat together and talked, so the situation was almost comical. Still, Deidara continued.

"I decided I don't want to press charges… even if you do find those guys…"

Itachi frowned and looked down. He'd been looking indeed. He'd found two of them so far, one was still a skilled football player in college, the other was trying to start his own business. Itachi hadn't decided what to do yet though.

"I had a dream a couple days ago," Deidara rested his head against Itachi's shoulder lightly as the taller male held him. "It was like, in the future, or whatever… and one of them… he had… y'know a family, and a job, normal life… And hum… he was still thinking about what he did to me back in high school and it was eating at him… cause he was scared that something like that could happen to his kids one day."

"Just because of a dream…" Itachi frowned, unable to finish his sentence.

But Deidara understood, and he said, "It's not just the dream. I just don't want to try to find them. I finally moved on, Itachi. I'm only stronger now, for the first time in my life I know that I can have sex and not be thinking about them," he shrugged, and pulled away so he could look up into deep onyx eyes, "And I've got you," he smiled. "I don't know what their lives are like but I sort of believe in karma, you know? Let's just not talk about it ever again."

"…If that's really what you want."

"It is," he said sincerely. Itachi looked into his blue eyes for a long time and they were so close he could see the imperfections in his eyeliner.

"Who are you? You changed Dei." He whispered, smiling, and suddenly he pulled Deidara close, sitting him on his lap. With a small gasp the blonde wrapped his arms around his neck and smiled back.

"It's called growing up, I guess. Moving on. Whatever. Or maybe I'm just so in love with you…" he finished as a light blush colored his cheeks. Itachi parted his lips, shaking his head in disbelief slightly. He felt so incredibly happy right now.

They kissed for long minutes, their lips bruised but they didn't care. Eventually they were lying down on the bed again, Itachi flipping their positions so he was on top. He wanted this really badly but he realized something and freaked out a little.

"Dei you don't have any lube or condoms do you?"

Blue eyes widened, "Oh, uh, no I don't. Does it matter?"

Itachi repressed the urge to smack him, "Does it matter? Of course it does you idiot. I don't want to hurt you!"

"No but I mean… we can use like…" Deidara glanced around his bedroom and shrugged, "Lotion, or whatever… And we don't need condoms we're both clean. I mean you can't honestly think I didn't get checked after what happened to me. And with my ex we used condoms she wasn't on the pill. You trust me don't you?"

Deidara was so nervous and cute right now. How could Itachi possibly not love him so much? He nodded, smiling.

"Yeah of course I trust you. I got checked too. And I haven't done anything with anyone ever since I met you."

"I fucking hope so," Deidara teased.

They kissed again, the last of Itachi's reticence disappearing. Deidara soon slipped away to go get aforementioned lotion, and Itachi smirked. He applied some on his fingers and started stretching him right away. This was so much different from any other sexual experience Itachi had before. One night stands couldn't possibly compare to this.

He'd known Deidara for nearly five months now. And right now, as Itachi pleasured him with two fingers skillfully, seeing the lust in those beautiful blue eyes he loved so much, it was so intense and created foreign feelings inside of him. So this was what it was like, he thought, to have sex with someone he actually cared for… someone he actually loved.

Deidara felt some pain when Itachi stretched him using three fingers. But he was distracted by the sweet kisses the raven dropped everywhere; on his neck, chest, nipples, then his lips again… His moans became ones of pleasure. Itachi eventually lathered his cock with the lotion they were using as lubricant. Of course it would hurt a little, it couldn't be helped, but he would do his best to make this experience amazing for his boyfriend.

He did look a bit nervous now as Itachi positioned himself.

"You can still change your mind," he whispered reassuringly, his lips brushing his soft cheek.

"No," Deidara said holding him almost desperately, "no I don't wanna change my mind. Itachi, I want this, with you, no one else."

"I feel the same way," he kissed his lips heatedly one last time before sliding inside of him at last.

Deidara moaned in pain and he clawed at Itachi's back.

"Shh… relax, Dei… please, try to relax…" he whispered gently in his ear then kissed his neck. He really needed to relax before Itachi could move. He wasn't even all the way in.

Eventually the blonde seemed to get used to this. His hands relaxed as they held Itachi's back, but surely his nails had left marks. The raven didn't care though. The only important thing to him right now was how Deidara felt.

"You ready…?" They locked eyes. Deidara nodded.

Itachi pulled away slightly so he could hold the smaller male's hips. Itachi slowly, carefully started moving inside of him even though this was killing him. His body wanted to just pound inside him repeatedly and reach climax as soon as possible but he forced himself to calm down. Looking at Deidara's pained face helped a lot. He was already hurting him, so he didn't want to make things worst by going too fast.

"You tell me to stop I stop," he said.

"No don't," Deidara reassured him, "I'm fine."

"You sure?" Itachi tried moving just a little faster.

"Hurts and feels good at the same time," he eventually admitted as he caressed Itachi's hair.

"I wish it could stop hurting."

"Just keep going…"

Itachi nodded and leaned closer to kiss his beautiful, darkened lips as he continued making love to him. Eventually Deidara moaned and the raven pulled away to look into his eyes. They were wide open.

"Itachi…"

"Yeah?" He asked fervently.

"Faster."

He didn't need to be told twice. He pounded faster and deeper inside him and Deidara arched his back, the sensations clearly making him lose control. He was so beautiful, so amazing, this moment was so perfect, and it was theirs, and right now Itachi didn't think it could get any better than this. That was how good he felt. It was like his first time having sex all over again.

Itachi slid his hands across Deidara's arms, feeling the thin scars and thinking of everything they'd been through together, how far they came, and how far they would go. Their hands touched and they laced their fingers, squeezing tightly.

"Itachi… ahh…" Deidara kept moaning over and over, and his sexy voice was the best music to Itachi's ears. He was himself moaning and grunting in pure pleasure with each thrust.

Deidara folded his legs and spread them even more to give him better access.

"Ita… chi… fuck…"

"I love it when you say my name."

"Itachi, Itachi, Itachi…"

The raven smiled and leaned closer to kiss him. Deidara moaned and tried to say his name again so they just pulled away and chuckled softly. Itachi straightened up and grabbed his thin hips to pick up the pace again. With each thrust they were coming closer…

They were moaning loudly, locking eyes, and sent completely over the edge. This was out of this world; Itachi had never felt anything like it before. He couldn't even think anymore, couldn't even do anything but hold Deidara while making love to him passionately. Right now, nothing else mattered. This was perfect.

They came together. Panting, they locked eyes, unable to move, and reveling in this blissful moment. Slowly, almost carefully, Itachi let his body rest on top of Deidara's. They held each other fiercely.

"Oh my god," Deidara said, trembling, "that was intense."

"Yeah…" Itachi breathed in the sweet scent of his hair, and kissed his cheek softly. Deidara turned his head a little so he could kiss his lips instead.

"I loved it," the blonde whispered against his lips, "but… ugh…" he made a noise of displeasure as Itachi slid out of him.

"Sorry," he chuckled.

"It's okay."

"What were you gonna say? You loved it but…"

Deidara caressed his back, and his sleek black hair as he said, "But how the hell am I supposed to like… walk… now?"

Itachi burst out laughing, but then he got a little worried, "Are you really hurting that bad?"

"I think I'll survive."

"Well the good news is we have the day off. We can just stay like this for a little while if you want."

"I'd like that."

"I'd probably suffocate you though," Itachi teased and he shifted to lie down on his side instead.

Deidara also turned so they could face each other. He smiled, "I didn't mind having you on top of me."

"How convenient, I liked being on top of you too."

"We're being so silly," the blonde laughed as he placed his arm under his head, curling up on his side a little more.

The sheets were stained but they didn't care. They could take care of that later. Right now they just held each other close, enjoying this moment and unwilling to let it end.

Deidara's smile faded a little, and he became thoughtful. He caressed the tattoo on Itachi's arm lightly. "I'm really glad I met you. I'll have to thank your brother for deciding to get a tattoo back in September," he chuckled, "it's crazy isn't it? I met you by chance and it fucking turned my life around."

"It's not just me. Don't sell yourself short. You were really strong, keeping all your secrets to yourself, living on your own like that…"

"More like surviving," he chuckled bitterly.

But Itachi frowned, and cupped his cheek, before brushing his hair behind his ear, "Well my point exactly. You were strong and when I showed up you actually managed to accept change, to try something new. Remember when I was texting you, inviting you to go out and stuff, and you just ignored me… well you could've just ignored me forever and believe me I would've given up. But you called me back. So it wasn't just me. And Deidara I'm glad I met you too," he said sincerely, "now I can't imagine my life without you."

They were silent for a long time, but Deidara was smiling. And Itachi was glad. He caressed the long blonde locks absentmindedly, as they let the rays of sunlight creeping in the room warm their bodies.

"Staying like this for a little while sounds good," Deidara finally whispered.

"Yeah," Itachi said simply, and kissed his forehead.

So they did stay like this, holding each other on the small bed. Itachi thought of what their life together would be like, and he just smiled, because he didn't have any doubts, or second thoughts. He was in love, and that was enough, for now. He squeezed his lover gently in his arms and closed his eyes.

…

_A/N: I remember when I was writing that story, all those months ago, I wanted it to be really long. And maybe that's partly why I lost my inspiration and gave up on it. Honestly, I don't think this story could be good if it was like, thirty chapters long… It would just get boring, lose the main focus and I'd hate for that to happen. I'm gonna write one or two more chapters for this, which I will update within the end of the month. And then that's it. Thank you._

_(I don't know if you're still reading this, but special thanks to mountaingirl47, Nychta, mammacass99, Seras Kyra Silvering, AnimePriestess425, you guys, sorry about not updating soon after all, and SinGrin, thanks for correcting my errors, and brightnight003, Villagefox, ishala8, Uchan382, DragonFire44, kissama, Ms. Wolf, you guys really made me want to try to finish this story)_


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"Hey I just remembered something… yesterday at the restaurant, what did you wanna tell me? You said we shouldn't rush things and then…?"

Deidara rolled over to his side carefully to face Itachi – they didn't have a choice but sleep really close to each other since it was a single sized bed.

"Oh that… um… actually I was wondering if… you'd want to live here with me for a little while? This way we can try it out y'know? Then see if things work out well we can get our apartment together. So what do you say?"

Itachi smiled and lifted his fingers to replace some blonde strands behind his ear. His fingers lingered to touch the silver, black and blue steel studs in his ear lightly.

"I think it's a great idea. But… I was also thinking… you could move in with me and my family…"

Deidara sighed. He knew it, damn it. Itachi just didn't like his apartment. Despite the fact that he'd put a lot of work into it, and it was really clean and neat right now, well the raven still didn't want to live here. It made him a little depressed.

"Hey what's with that face? It's okay, if you prefer staying here I'll stay here."

"Really?" His blue eyes widened slightly, hopeful.

"Yeah but I gotta ask… Why don't you want to move in with us?"

"I'd feel out of place," he admitted. "I know your family's really cool and acceptant and welcoming but…"

"But?" Dark gray eyes searched Deidara's and he shrugged.

"I don't know… I just… I guess I've been on my own for so long now. I can't see myself living with your parents. I guess I just want it to be you and me." He blushed despite himself.

But Itachi smiled. "I get it. I want the same thing that's why I wanna move out… I love my parents but… I'm twenty one and I wanna live my own life – with you."

They kissed tenderly, while brushing each other's hair and caressing each other's smooth skin, but nothing sexual followed. They had done enough the day before… It had been a big step. In fact Deidara was still sore, but it was okay. That pain was associated with positive emotions. It was the ultimate way of moving on from his past.

Anyway, Itachi needed to hurry up, take a shower and get ready to go to his first class. He promised Deidara he would go to his house that evening, only so that he could pack his stuff, and then he'd move in the very next day. This made the blonde incredibly happy.

…

Three days. That's what it took before Deidara and Itachi started fighting. About everything. On Wednesday morning Itachi was pissed because there was no clean dish he could use for breakfast.

He'd gotten up early to get ready for school. He had a class at 8 am. In fact he hadn't gotten much sleep at all. Sleeping in a twin sized bed with his boyfriend had been fun at first but now, not so much. Itachi had always been used to sleeping on his own, in a king sized bed so to say that it was different was a bit of an understatement.

Of course, Deidara was still sleeping soundly. Itachi rolled his eyes and shook his shoulder. The small male frowned and blinked a few times.

"Hey…"

"Whatever happened to, don't worry about the dishes just go to sleep I'll take care of it?"

"I thought I'd do it this morning instead, what's the big deal?" Deidara gave a slight shrug as he sat up.

"Whatever I'll just grab something at the cafeteria," the raven muttered more to himself. Then, he said, "You better do it cause it's fucking gross. Why don't you clean it up right after using it like I do?"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever."

Itachi grabbed his bag and car keys from the mess on Deidara's desk and stormed out without even saying 'bye' or 'see you later' like he always did.

That evening they fought for a different reason. Itachi was sitting at the desk working on a school project on his laptop while Deidara lay down on his bed, also sitting right in front of his laptop but he certainly wasn't doing anything productive. In fact he was listening to metal music while checking out his emails or his facebook page or whatever – Itachi didn't even know. He always did stuff like that when he got back from work.

"Do you have to listen to music all the freakin' time?" He turned around in the chair and stared at him harshly.

Deidara propped himself up on his elbows and stared right back, "Uh yeah I mean you only realize this now?"

"Can't you at least put on headphones?"

"They're broken."

"Deidara…"

"I thought you liked my music," he whined.

"Not when I'm trying to concentrate… Ugh." Itachi grabbed his stuff and went to the other room to sit on the couch. He loved Deidara but right now he was being annoying and immature.

Itachi ended up sleeping on the couch that night – more like _trying_ to sleep. He wasn't feeling so good. He really wanted things to work out with Deidara but maybe they weren't ready to live together. He decided that the next day he'd pack his stuff again and go back to his parents' house. Unless, maybe, Deidara convinced him to stay.

…

When Deidara got back from work on Thursday evening he was tired. It had been a long day at work and then he'd had to wait for the bus in the cold for half an hour. Not too many costumers had come in actually – there was a freakin' snow storm outside. But that didn't normally stop people with appointments for tattoos, that was for sure.

As he saw Itachi's bags fully packed and ready to go by the door, he freaked out. First he slipped out of his boots because he knew Itachi hated it when he put snow and dirt everywhere in the small entrance of the apartment. Then he stormed inside his bedroom, still wearing his black leather jacket.

Itachi looked up from his laptop, and calmly said, "I think it's best if I just go home."

Deidara was devastated. "No… I _can_ do better. I'm sorry about the dishes it won't happen again. And I promise I'll take less time in the bathroom and… and… I bought this today."

He lifted the plastic bag he had almost forgotten he was holding. It was from some electronic store and it contained, well, headphones. He'd gone out to buy them during his break – despite the snow. He believed he earned the small smile curling Itachi's beautiful lips right now. But the raven still looked sad.

"Baby… I just don't think we're ready…"

"Let's try again," Deidara said fervently, stepping closer, "just a few more days! I can do better I swear. And if you don't want to sleep together, well I'll let you have my bed! I can take the couch."

"You shouldn't have to…" The raven got up and leaned closer. He took the plastic bag from him and tossed it on the desk, before taking Deidara's hands. They were cold from walking outside so he squeezed them to warm him up. "Look, it's not a big deal okay? We can just go back to dating and wait until we're ready to live together…"

There was a pang in Deidara's chest at the thought of living alone again. Before Itachi had snuck up in his life he hadn't realized how lonely he felt. And the past few days the feeling had only gotten more intense. The thought of having no one to wake up to in the morning, and no one to come back to in the evening depressed him greatly. And Itachi was kind of pissing him off right now.

"I'm willing to make efforts to get used to having you here but you just won't do the same Itachi!" Deidara removed his hands and took off his jacket, throwing it on the back of the chair. He just had a simple plain black tee underneath. After so many months he was finally able to go a day without wearing arm warmers. The thin white scars on the insides of his arms would forever remind him of his past, but that was okay. At the moment he wasn't thinking about those things though. He crossed his arms and went on. "I mean this is my place… you have no idea how much I changed my habits for you already, and I'm willing to change even more because I just… I just love you so fucking much!"

"Changed your habits?" Itachi repeated, frowning. "Well the way you used to live must have been disgusting cause…"

"I can't believe you're telling me this! After I just told you I loved you? And who are you to judge me? Can't you just appreciate the efforts I'm making and trust me to improve even more, for you?"

Itachi's handsome face and deep dark eyes suddenly showed some guilt. He stepped closer almost carefully, and uncrossed Deidara's arms. As pale fingers ran across his arms he felt something electric inside of him. They'd barely touched each other in days and suddenly the lithe male craved it so badly.

"Dei, I…"

"Shut up," he whispered and stood at the tip of his toes to kiss Itachi, hard. He wrapped his arms around his neck and entangled his hands in thick raven locks.

Itachi responded by moaning deeply and pushing his tongue inside the other male's parted lips. He wrapped his arms around Deidara's small waist and held him fiercely. He even pulled him up and leaned him against the wall. Deidara smiled through the kiss and wrapped his legs around his hips. They were both getting hard already.

They couldn't take their hands off each other, not to mention their lips. They were so eager to touch, taste, bite, nibble, caress, and just kiss, over and over. Itachi, still holding Deidara, stepped closer to the bed, where he threw the smaller male before climbing on top of him and straddling his waist. He grinded into his hips harshly and Deidara moaned loudly.

"Ahh… Ita…"

He was interrupted by a harsh kiss. Their lips were bruising up already, yet they craved more. Deidara battled with Itachi's tongue to dominate but as always the raven pretty much won that fight – but he was okay with that.

Deidara tugged at the hemline of Itachi's shirt and he took it off in a swift movement. The next instant they were kissing again. Groans and moans escaped their lips and they breathed heavily. At some point they literally had to stop for air. But Itachi didn't lose any time. First he pulled his lover up in a sitting embrace to take off his shirt as well, and then he pressed their newly exposed chests together with a contented moan. Deidara also breathed out in satisfaction at being so close, finally. Itachi was so warm. He wrapped his arms around Itachi's thin waist and squeezed him tight.

They kissed each other's necks in turn, leaving some red marks on smooth pale skin.

"Itachi…" Deidara breathed out into his neck as he bucked his hips needily.

The raven lowered himself and kissed his nipple while he fumbled clumsily with his fingers to unbutton and unzip his jeans. Deidara moaned repeatedly and entangled his fingers in black hair as the male nibbled at his pierced nipple… that felt amazing. Itachi just knew perfectly well how to pleasure him.

It got even better when Itachi took off both their pants. Now completely naked, they grinded into each other's hips and held their breath as their dicks rubbed onto one another. Itachi ran his hands all over Deidara's body, tracing the tattoos with the tip of his fingers and leaning close to capture his lips into yet another heated kiss.

Deidara moaned passionately and bucked his hips again and again because he just wanted more, so much more. Itachi actually chuckled as he pulled away and Deidara caressed his cheek tenderly. It was good to see him smile.

They had bought lube by now, although they hadn't even used it yet, because of their stupid fights. At that moment Deidara couldn't even remember what they had been fighting about exactly. He just wanted Itachi inside him so badly. He wanted to forget their problems and just look into his beautiful dark eyes knowing that they were both so in love with each other.

Itachi turned him around and stretched him impatiently, yet still somewhat carefully, while kissing the sensitive skin of his back. He lingered where the black bird tattoo was and then he leaned closer to his ear.

"You okay?"

"Yeah… more than okay…" he breathed out and Itachi got the hint.

He pulled away again, grabbing Deidara's hip with one hand. After lathering his cock with lube he slid inside of him. But in his eagerness he went in too fast and deep and Deidara hadn't expected that. He moaned in pain and his trembling arms let go. He fell onto the messy sheets and pillow as he clenched his jaw not to scream out in pain. Itachi whispered that he was sorry as he slid his arms around his waist, flushing his toned chest and abs to his boyfriend's small back. He kissed his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry baby I went too fast didn't I? You want me to stop?"

"N-No… No! I… I'm fine, don't stop, please…"

Deidara knew it would soon get better. He knew it would get amazing, in fact, and he was right. As Itachi started moving carefully inside of him he found himself craving more. He actually got impatient.

"Itachi… you can go faster now, please…" he urged him.

"It doesn't hurt anymore?" He asked softly, concerned, and Deidara turned his head so they could lock eyes. As he looked into those onyx irises his wish came true and he remembered why he loved him so much.

"No it doesn't!" He chuckled, "Fuck me Itachi come on…" He reached back to grab Itachi's thigh. Now he just wanted this to be fun. He wanted Itachi to forget their problems too.

The raven smirked and kissed his back, in between his shoulder blades. After that he started pounding inside his lover harshly while keeping a firm arm around his waist. Itachi was grunting with the effort and pleasure he felt and Deidara smiled, enjoying those noises. He was moaning with every thrust himself of course, as Itachi hit that spot inside him over and over again. Deidara just lost it completely.

There was nothing else important… Just Itachi. He lifted himself up on all fours again, and looked behind his shoulder, throwing a heated gaze at his lover. He leaned close and they kissed while he slowed the pace a little, only to pick it up again when they pulled away. They did this a few times, but eventually they could no longer hold back. Especially when Itachi's hand slid down to stroke Deidara's erection, surely bringing him to completion.

Screaming each other's names, they came together, breathing heavily and completely dazed. Staying in the same position, they fell on their side and Itachi squeezed Deidara in his arms fiercely, spooning him. The blonde took Itachi's hand in his and kissed it.

"I love you."

"I love you," Itachi said back, whispering in his ear, "and I don't want to go home."

"And I don't want to sleep on the couch."

They laughed and snuggled closer, still panting a little.

"That was amazing," Deidara said.

"Yeah… Sasuke was right about make up sex…" he muttered and Deidara wasn't sure he understood correctly.

"What did you say?"

"Never mind."

Deidara turned around – as always, it wasn't so easy in the tiny bed, but he managed – and faced Itachi. He arched a delicate blonde eyebrow at him.

"Make up sex?"

"Well, yeah… Now whenever we fight we should just do this."

"… Okay."

They laughed and held each other close again. Deidara breathed in the sweet smell of Itachi's hair, and he caressed the birds tattoo design he had done himself on his upper arm and shoulder. He eventually pulled back so he could look into his eyes, more seriously.

"I know you hate my bed… my room… my apartment," he chuckled sadly, "but you don't hate me, do you?"

"Of course not. How could I hate you? We'll get a bigger apartment. And we'll have _my_ bed," he smiled.

"Which is much better."

"Indeed."

"We can also have a dishwasher…"

"Totally," Itachi laughed.

"And we should always take our showers together."

"That would solve the problem of having to wait for each other."

"Yeah!"

"Wanna try that one out right now?"

"Absolutely."

Itachi jumped to his feet, and he slid his arms under his lover to scoop him up. Deidara let out a cute surprised yelp as he had no choice but to hold onto Itachi's neck. But then he laughed and kissed his neck, nuzzling his hair.

"I love you. I never wanna fight again."

"But then we can't have make up sex," Itachi teased as he walked and then put him down on the bathroom floor. He turned on the water and tested the temperature with his hand.

"Maybe we can fight _sometimes_."

The raven smiled wickedly and he was so ridiculously handsome. Deidara leaned close to kiss his darkened lips. They stepped in the tub together and pulled the curtain. Itachi grabbed the soap and a clean rag and started cleaning Deidara, eventually placing him under the water. He hadn't expected this though, and slipped. Reflexively he tried to hold onto Itachi but this caused them both to fall.

Deidara whined, "My ass… my poor little ass…" He chuckled. He hadn't really hurt himself. He just wanted Itachi to feel a little bad since of course, he was already sore from their previous activity.

"I'm sorry…" he bit his lip but he couldn't completely repress a smile. He just pulled the smaller male in his lap, forgetting about the soap for now. They held each other and kissed softly while the warm water poured down on Deidara's back.

"You're hard again," the blonde teased before leaning closer to lick his bottom lip. Itachi trembled slightly from desire.

"I'm naked in the shower with you… How could I not be turned on?"

Deidara's cock was growing harder too. They started grinding each other, it couldn't be helped, in that position it was just too tempting. Itachi eventually brought his hand to stroke them both at the same time, and Deidara stared at this with lidded, lustful blue eyes. It was so hot…

He eventually replaced Itachi's hand with his. They exchanged a smile and they started just jacking each other off ruthlessly. Also they kissed each other's necks, breathing heavily. At some point they came for the second time that night, just from doing this. The moment had just been so hot, so intimate, so perfect.

Exhausted, they slowly got up and finished cleaning each other up. Every touch was full of tenderness. Even when they were finished, they didn't get out of the shower just yet. Replacing wet black strands behind Itachi's ears, the younger male tilted his head and placed one last soft kiss on his lips. Then he smiled and turned off the water.

Shivering from loss of warmth they stepped out of the tub, dried themselves and wrapped the towels around their waists, before making their way back to the bedroom, and Deidara's bed.

They were tired but they took the time to change the sheets anyway. It was worth it when they lay down on the now clean bed together.

"We really have to find something quickly 'cause I miss my bed," Itachi said as he detangled Deidara's hair gently with his long fingers.

The smaller male shrugged and slid his arm across Itachi's waist and back, caressing his smooth pale skin. "We'll find something. By the way what do your parents think of all this?"

"They think it's a bad idea," he admitted. "But they said that, if it's really what I want then they'll help me out."

"Is it really what you want?" Deidara held his breath, searching his eyes.

"Yeah."

"Even if we fight sometimes?"

"Especially if we fight sometimes," Itachi teased and pressed his thigh in between his lover's legs suggestively.

"I'm serious!"

"It's part of a relationship," Itachi's smile faded a little and he shrugged.

"I guess you're right."

"Of course I'm right."

"I'm glad you didn't leave."

"I'm glad you didn't let me leave," he replied. "You passed the test."

Blue eyes widened indignantly, "You were _testing_ me?"

"Maybe a little…"

Deidara struggled angrily to get away from Itachi, but he tightened his hold around him so he couldn't escape.

"Bastard, I hate you."

"You love me," Itachi chuckled.

And they both knew he was right, of course.

A/N: Okay so this isn't the end, but the next chapter is. It'll be the epilogue, one year later. I hope you enjoyed this chapter, thanks so much for the reviews guys.


	19. Chapter 19

Epilogue

Itachi smiled as he walked into the living room, his bare feet quietly stepping on the nice hardwood floors. The young man who had been his boyfriend for now more than one year was sitting at his desk, in front of his laptop, typing what would be the sequel to his recently published book. He looked very focused on his task and Itachi didn't normally bother him – especially not when his fingers were running across the keyboard like that. But it was just too tempting. Deidara was so cute, as always. He wore black boxers and tank top, with his long blonde hair all ruffled from sleep. There was coffee in the kitchen. Apparently Deidara had just gotten up, made some then forgotten it there.

The raven-haired male stepped closer and when he touched Deidara's hair, the male gasped slightly and twisted his body a little to look up at him.

"Didn't even hear you…"

"That was the point," Itachi almost purred as he leaned closer, brushing the long messy blonde locks in front of his shoulders, in order to give him a massage.

"That feels nice," he closed his blue eyes and tilted his head back.

Itachi's smile widened. He pressed with his thumbs at the nape of his neck in order to release the tension. Deidara let out a small moan.

"I was really inspired though. You distracted my creative process."

"Your what?" The taller male chuckled.

"Never mind. It's already too late anyway. Just… keep doing that."

But Itachi didn't. Instead he replaced his own black hair behind his ears and leaned even closer to place a soft kiss on Deidara's lips. It was in moments like this that Itachi was glad they were living together. It was Saturday so they both had the day off. Itachi worked at the same video game company as his father now. As for Deidara he still worked as a tattoo artist, but only three days a week. People had to wait to get an appointment with him.

It was April now. The weather was just getting nice outside. They were supposed to go have lunch with Sasuke and Naruto later, but until then…

Itachi deepened the kiss as he tugged at Deidara's long blonde hair gently. He tilted his head back even more so he could kiss his jaw, then his neck, leaving reddened trails on the sensitive skin. Deidara's breathing slowly became heavier.

"I really was inspired though," he whined at some point, "you're… making me all distracted now."

"Well _you_ inspire _me_," Itachi mocked before kissing his lips again, pressing his hot tongue in between parted flushed lips.

He slid his arms around the smaller male's waist and lifted him up. As they kept on kissing over and over again, they slowly stumbled toward the nice leather couch. By then Itachi had gotten rid of the black tank top and he was caressing Deidara's smooth skin all over. He straddled his waist as he kissed his neck again.

Licking his ear, he whispered sweet, heated words, "Sorry about bothering you when you're writing… but I just want you so bad… I missed this."

"Itachi," amused blue eyes looked up at him, "we did it last night."

"But I missed doing it in the morning."

"We did it like Thursday morning. I got to work late remember?"

He lowered himself while leaving a trail of kisses across Deidara's chest. "Yeah… I got late to work too. But today we don't have to be anywhere…"

"Lunch with your brother and Naruto…" Deidara said but his voice got weak as his lover bit his nipple gently. He slowly lifted his hands and ran his fingers through silk soft black hair.

"That's in a few hours…"

"In one hour," the blonde corrected him. Right, it was 11 am already… Why had Itachi gotten up so late? Damn it. But he wouldn't let that stop him.

"I don't care."

He shifted and kissed his lips again, while grinding his hips. They were both hard, moaning and breathing heavily through the kiss as their clothed erections rubbed one another. Itachi eventually slid his hand down his lover's boxers and wrapped his long fingers around his cock. Deidara's hips lifted slightly, reacting to his touch. They interrupted the kiss to catch their breath.

"You wanna top again don't you?" Deidara asked teasingly.

It was sort of their private joke. Itachi had let his boyfriend top a few times but the thing was, Itachi really, really liked topping. Besides he knew Deidara preferred it this way too, even though he never really said it out loud.

"I do," he whispered with a small smile. He pulled away slightly so he could get rid of those annoying boxers. While he was at it he took off his own as well. Now both naked, they held each other close and kissed passionately.

"You need to go get…" Deidara breathed in between to kisses. He meant the lube… Itachi growled. It was kinda far. As in the bedroom, and they had a 3 ½ apartment so it wasn't that far really. He just didn't want to interrupt this.

"Itachi…" the blonde warned.

"You get it."

"No! You're the one who attacked me!" He exclaimed but a smile was curling his beautiful lips. Itachi couldn't resist kissing him one more time, before reluctantly getting up.

His dark gaze drifted across his lover's beautiful, slender frame and he suddenly had a better idea. He grabbed both arms and yanked him up in a swift movement; Deidara had no other choice than to hold onto him. They kissed again.

"What're you doing?" Deidara chuckled into his cheek.

"Bedroom, now."

"Mm… okay."

It took some time to get there. That was mostly Itachi's fault. He kept kissing him so intensely that they couldn't really walk while doing so. Also he kept pinning him to the wall while humping him which kind of drove them both insane.

"S-Stop it…"

"Why?" Itachi teased

"Cause… Ahh… I just want you to… fuck me… right now… but it's gonna hurt like a bitch."

The raven let go of him and they eventually made it to the bedroom, more specifically the king sized bed. Reaching for his night table Itachi took out the lube and frantically applied a generous amount to his hardened member. Heated blue eyes locked with lustful onyx orbs and then Deidara turned around. Itachi leaned close and positioned himself, before sliding inside of him. They both moaned and grunted in pure pleasure as Itachi started making love to him. Every time, it seemed more amazing than the last.

Itachi used to fuck tons of people, but ever since he'd met Deidara, well he didn't need that anymore – he didn't even want it. He just wanted this one guy, because he was so special to him. And the feeling was mutual. Itachi knew he shouldn't make promises, but he often told Deidara he would never get tired of him. He truly felt that way.

With each deep thrust they lost it even more. Deidara was moaning loudly and his arms were trembling. Itachi held his hips and picked up the pace.

"I love you so much," Deidara whispered, as he often did when they were having sex. It never failed to make the older male smile.

"Love you too."

He leaned close to brush his hair aside and kiss the back of his neck. Sometimes they talked during sex, whether it be dirty or sweet words – or a mix of both. But sometimes they just remained quiet, because there was no need for words, really. They loved each other, body and soul, and with that had come a deep understanding. This was what made things so great between them. And Itachi had never been happier.

As he continued making love to him, he brought one hand to his erection to stroke it. Deidara moaned harshly then said his name in a soft whisper. Itachi let his lips trail across his back.

"We're totally gonna be late," Deidara chuckled at some point.

"Who cares? Besides you know them…" he interrupted himself as he simply felt too good, and he had a hard time focusing on forming words. Then he continued, "They're probably gonna be late, too…"

"You have a point… I guess… Ahh… fuck… I don't think I can…"

"What?" Itachi breathed into his neck, teasing.

"Hold back…"

Sure enough, a few more thrusts and Deidara came in his hand, while Itachi tensed and finished as well, deep inside his lover. They didn't want to move at first, but they eventually collapsed on the bed and held each other, completely relaxed.

"You're amazing," Deidara said.

"I know."

"You're supposed to tell me that I'm amazing too!"

"You're amazing too."

"Well it doesn't work now!" Deidara rolled his eyes and tried to pull away, but Itachi held onto him.

"Stay here…"

"I need to take a shower. And so do you," he mentioned.

"Let's take it together."

"No!" Deidara laughed and tried to escape Itachi's strong arms again. "You'll just want to fuck again!"

"What's the problem?" Itachi searched his eyes, repressing a smile.

"The problem is… we're…" Itachi kissed him and when he opened his blue eyes again they were a bit dazed, "late…"

"Heh, fine, just go…"

As Deidara got up, Itachi smacked his ass playfully. The blonde turned around, bit his lip and leaned close again to kiss the raven hard. He even pushed his tongue inside Itachi's mouth as he pushed him back on the bed, to show him that he could be dominant and forceful too when he wanted to. Itachi just found him adorable though. He caressed his hair and smooth skin eagerly.

Then he suddenly stopped and walked away, disappearing in the bathroom. Itachi leaned back onto the mattress, letting his hand fall in his messy hair. Stupid Naruto, he thought, planning some stupid double date lunch or whatever. Now they couldn't have sex in the shower. Well, Itachi had to admit, maybe he exaggerated sometimes – he was a bit of a sex addict. But Deidara lived with it. He had learned to say no when he didn't want to – that didn't happen very often though. Maybe this was partly why they were such a good match.

Funny how, at the beginning of their relationship, Itachi had waited months before having sex with Deidara. He had very good reasons of course, and Itachi had been convinced from the start that the wait would be totally worth it. And he'd never been more right in his life.

…

When they had both showered, Deidara was dressed in nice skinny jeans, a black sleeveless shirt and matching hoodie, and Itachi wore a navy button down shirt with stylish gray jeans and silver buckle belt. They made their way to the parking and the spot in which Itachi always parked his car. Then they drove off, Deidara trying on some radio stations then deeming the radio boring and stupid and putting on his IPod's music instead. Itachi just smiled. Some things never changed.

At the restaurant, Sasuke and Naruto were already seated at a table by the window, waiting for them. They were indeed a little bit late – like thirty minutes. Deidara seemed to feel bad about it. Itachi just shrugged it off.

"Guys come on! Thirty minutes late," Naruto made a show of checking his cell, and shaking his head in disapproval. "Not cool, seriously."

"We're really sorry, um…" Deidara started as he sat in front of the younger male. But Itachi interrupted him, as he himself took place in front of his brother.

"How long have you guys been here?"

"Like two minutes," Sasuke informed and Naruto nudged him harshly.

"You never play along!"

"You weren't convincing anyway. Only an idiot would believe you when you lie."

"Well thank you," Deidara glared at Sasuke across the table.

And thus started their usual banter. The four guys loved each other a lot and they simply adored hanging out. But they oftentimes argued for no reason, called each other names or such things. It was just friendly banter – except when it got out of control but that was rare. Actually it had only happened once so far. Yeah, Sasuke had been in a really bad mood…

But today was fine. The two boys had just started their semester recently – Naruto in 3D animation and Sasuke in a general arts program. Unlike Itachi, the younger Uchiha wasn't too sure what he wanted to do as a career yet. But that was okay, to each his own. He didn't have a problem with that, and neither did their parents. They respected whatever choice he was going to make.

As they ate, their discussion subjects varied from tattoos and piercings to literature, movies, music and video games. Naruto and Sasuke still lived with their parents so they told the others that they were doing great.

As he often did, Naruto tried to bring up the subject of sex. But no one else would let him go there.

"Oh come on guys why can't we talk about this?" He pleaded, "You guys are boring."

"We're brothers," Sasuke pointed at Itachi, glaring at his boyfriend. "Don't you get it? It's weird."

"If you wanna talk about sex so badly," Deidara said, blushing slightly, "we should hang out just the two of us some time."

"Finally!" Naruto exclaimed, "Thank you!"

There was a silence. Sasuke stared at Itachi again. It was like they could read each other's mind.

"Now I wanna know what they're gonna say," Itachi said.

"Me too," his little brother admitted.

Naruto burst out laughing and shrugged playfully, "Too late."

Some more banter followed, and the conversation drifted. When they finished eating, Deidara and Itachi held hands under the table, glancing at each other briefly and sharing a smile.

When the lunch ended the two couples parted ways. The sun was warm and with the slightly cool wind it was just so nice outside that Itachi felt like walking instead of getting back to the car right away. When he suggested this Deidara nodded and without a word they started walking down the street side by side. They eventually turned on a calmer street with a park to their left. But they simply walked past it.

"Do you think they really read my book, or they're just pretending?" Deidara inquired. The subject of his recently published book had been a part of their conversation indeed.

Itachi glanced at him sideways, "Sasuke read it. Naruto's probably still working on it – but don't take it personal he's just not really strong on reading novels."

"Do you think the sequel's gonna be good?" Deidara looked down. "It's just… a lot of pressure."

Itachi smiled, and wrapped his arm around his boyfriend's thin shoulders. Itachi had been the one to send Deidara's story to publishing houses a couple months ago. It turned out one of them had loved it, and seen potential in it just like Itachi did. He just had to do it, because he knew Deidara would never have taken the opportunity himself. Now the editor suggested Deidara should start working on the sequel right away, which he was already doing anyway.

"It's gonna be amazing. Everything you do is great, you just don't realize it."

"I do… it's just… I don't brag like you!" Deidara mocked, and proceeded to imitate what Itachi often said. "I'm the only works who works in the damn company. If they make any money it'll be thanks to me. These idiots don't even know how to use a freakin' computer, tsk, I'm surrounded by morons."

"I don't always say that," Itachi said but he was smiling.

Deidara just smiled back, and pressed himself closer. Itachi took a moment to just admire the sunlight reflecting in Deidara's pale hair. He caressed it with his hand and placed a soft kiss on his lips. Then they just kept on walking, uncaring of the destination. These days they had off, and could spend together like this, Itachi thought, were really his favorite times.

A/N: I didn't have much inspiration for the epilogue, but I really wanted to write one, and I did my best. I hope you liked it - even kinda liked it would make me happy. I really love you guys, thanks for reading. (Unrelated, but if anyone's interested, I'll be continuing my story Fire and ice as well.) Thanks again.


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